Question for LDS people...?

Question

I asked a question earlier about a friend who's having a baby and is a member of the LDS church, thanks so much for the reassuring answers. But following on from that, would members of the church feel comfortable being invited over for say a BBQ and having other people drinking, etc? I've got a few Muslim friends that have no problems with that, they just won't drink, or will accept say 1/2 glass of wine to be polite, but won't necessarily drink it, and don't care one way or another what others are doing. We always have a great time. Are members of the LDS the same? Our kids are great friends and they're "strangers in a strange land" so to speak. New territory for me here.. I'd appreciate any insight!

Answer 1

I'm fine with it. I think most are, especially those who have spent time outside of Utah. You might even mention it to them when you invite them. I think being upfront about it is a good way to go. Just say "we'd love it if you came. Just so you know there will be some people doing some light drinking". Hope that helps.

Answer 2

Usually I try to avoid places where people will be drinking, but sometimes that's not possible. For example, my husband's mother's side of the family are not LDS and they have three big family get-togethers every year at Easter, Christmas and once in the summer. They always have alcohol, but the thing I don't mind is that they aren't drinking themselves drunk, there is just light drinking, so in that case, it doesn't really bother me because it's not that noticeable, not any more than my husband who walks around with a Coke in his hand. Invite them, what's the worst they can say? No thank you. They won't accept a glass of wine or anything along those lines "to be polite" though.

Answer 3

I know some who wouldn't mind and some who I'm sure would be uncomfortable being around alcohol and drinking. It's more about whether they have been exposed to 'things of the world' in their lives or not I think. Some LDS people are more worldly wise and some more sheltered etc... You know your friends well enough I think - just ask them if they would be ok being there since you'd like them to attend. No worries. : )



You can understand no doubt how it might be uncomfortable to be around activities that you deem wrong or have no understanding of - like drinking. It's very foreign to some people.

Answer 4

I'm totally comfortable around that and about everything else in this world and can excuse myself politely if I'm not comfortable - I'm comfortable being uncomfortable.



I did not grow up in the church, I've been around alcohol my entire life and the only thing that bugs me about alcohol is it changes peoples' behavior - I used to be a police officer and that smell of alcohol when people have had a few brings back bad memories.



LDS-ily speaking:



It's not the alcohol that bugs me for religious reasons - I know the overwhelming majority of this world is not LDS and I am perfectly fine with that - but it's the shallow conversation and obnoxiousness and people thinking they are clever or witty or who stop caring what they are saying or doing after they've had a few, and the repeated stories, or talking very loud to make sure I understand before they have an emotional breakdown telling me over and over "....I love you man.....I love you...." that bugs me. Or the hypersensitivity that occurs after a few drinks.



It really isn't the alcohol. I can see it change people and it bugs me how people can't socialize without it when they are good friends of mine.



But I can just excuse myself or listen quietly and psychoanalyze drunk or tipsy while I'm there.



It really depends not on whether there's alcohol but on how much people have before it bugs me.



I haven't been LDS all my life, most of my friends aren't LDS, my familiy isn't LDS, my co-workers aren't LDS - and I enjoy THEM and their company.



Forgive the quasi-rant but it really pains me that so many of my fellow saints struggle on this aspect in the world when so many people aren't malicious drinkers- but maybe they are right to be uncomfortable - I don't know. I just know I'm not a big fan of it, but can fit in with it as well and will drop in to be sociable and make THEM feel comfortable that I care enough to show up.

Answer 5

It just depends on if you have some alcoholics there, I have been around emotional alcoholics, they are such a mess to deal with, they cry, get angrey, laugh, are so emotional even men do this. If you have any alcoholicss around do not ask your Mormons friends over.

Otherwise I have been OK in the past being the Mormon who drove friends home and laughed when people got drunk, I woul just never be around friends that started smoking pot. I think swearing sometimes is offensive and if your friends talk about sex alot. Otherwise you should be OK.

Answer 6

If I was invited to a drinking BBQ, I would accept to be a good friend, but I would not be "comfortable." I would let my hosts know that I would not be drinking. I respect their right to drink just like I would hope they would respect my right not to.

Answer 7

I happen to be a friend to those who drink socially and I'm fine being around them. However, if I was in a party setting and people started getting sloshed I would probably leave if I had my 3 year old with me. Like most people said, you should let them know there will be alcohol served so you can let them make their own choices.

Answer 8

Well, some LDS people are different. I myself wouldn't put myself in that position if I could help it, but it still happens, right. But I agree that they just wouldn't have a drink when they go to the party.

Answer 9

It depends on the person, I know I wouldn't be comfortable if people were drinking around me. Maybe you could have a non-alcoholic BBQ.

Answer 10

Totally depends on the person. I say to invite them and let them decide. Personally Id probably stop by but not stay long enough for people to start getting drunk. But we're all different.

Answer 11

As a member, I dont go to or take my family to places where there will be drinking. We believe you should only go where the spirt can dwell with you. Where theres alcohol the spirt cannot. I would say that not all members may feel this way so I would ask your friend. Im sure she would appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Answer 12

If i was at a resturaunt with people that were drinking at the same table. i have no problem with that..



but once you bring the alcohol to my home or even outside, it shoudnt be allowed, especially with kids around..

Answer 13

I've been to work parties and such where there was drinking. I was fine with it. I would feel uncomfortable if my children were invited. I probably would decline in that case.

Answer 14

some LDS people are used to being around drinkers and may be ok with it, but others are self-righteous and will feel uncomfortable, in an environment where the"spirit" cannot reside. so you'll need to be careful which LDS people you invite over.

Answer 15

They deal with it all the time, just invite them over and let them know whats going on. If they do care, screw em.

Answer 16

Ask them.

Answer 17

I am the tree but I am watching the tree at the same time we are all the tree but there is no tree !!!





Man that was some bad LSD!