Melo~
Being angry with God is a natural human reaction especially when things are going poorly for us. When bad things happen to us we blame God and believe that he doesn’t care and he doesn’t love us. We would like to just slam the door on his face and never speak to him again.
The reality in this world is that bad things happen to good people. No matter how good they are. I could give you all kinds of examples. An innocent young family of five coming home from an evening church function gets slaughtered on the highway while the drunk driver who hits them walks away without a scratch. Did God cause that to happen? No. Should God have spared the innocent young family because the drunk driver made the choice to drink and drive? Why should he have? You were only about 6 or 7 years old when terrorists attacked the World Trade Centre killing thousands. In those planes were some babies who were vaporized instantly. Do we blame God for the wicked choices the terrorists made? I don’t think so. Why would it be God’s fault? Sure, we know that God is all powerful. We want to believe he loves us. We are told he is a compassionate God. Yet, each time there is a calamity we judge him as being unloving and uncaring because he did not spare us. It is not God’ responsibility for the wicked choices people make.
In your situation I empathize with you about the bullying. Bullying can drive a young person to sometimes take desperate measures. Bullying can instil a fear within us that we regret being born. And I know that you have asked yourself, “Why won’t God intervene and do something about this?
I cannot stress to you enough that this is the time to draw closer to God not pull away from him. And I’m sure that is the last thing you feel like doing. But do it! God has promised he will never leave nor forsake us. In other words he will not abandon us no matter how dark our situation appears. He also says he will never allow us more than we can cope with. God doesn’t break his promises. We cannot hold God responsible for the choices the other guys at your school are making anymore than I’m willing to blame God if you should make a stupid choice.
Jesus tells us that if we ask for anything “In His name” then we will get it. That means if he wills it and it means that it will be done in his time, not ours.
Does God want bad things to happen to you? Of course not. But they are going to happen. And there will be other unsavoury events in your life that will happen.
If God promises to be there for us then we have a right to “demand” his attention and a right to demand his help. The word demand is a pretty strong word but if someone makes a promise then we don’t ask them to keep it, we demand that they keep it.
If you choose to abandon God and allow your hurt and anger to blur your judgement and affect you like this that is your choice. My advice to you is that even if you have to pray 50 times a day for this burden to be lifted from your shoulders then do it. God is there. He has not walked away even though you think he has. And he’s listening. He’s also searching your heart. And he wants you to do the same. He will give you the answers- in his time, not yours. You want the heavy load to be lifted. He will give you a stronger back to handle the load. But you need to be listening. If you are not able to make friends at school then there are places where you can find and make friends- and good friends.
As far as the bullying goes and the teasing that is a very difficult thing to have to deal with by yourself. I have made suggestions to you in the past and can only hope you will follow up on those suggestions.
I am encouraged that you are at least willing to talk about your issues. Talking about them here is important and continue to do so but you have to go further. And if you have tried, then keep trying. Ask God to put people in your life that will be able to help you out of this situation. Ask God to give you the strength to endure a little longer. Ask him to change your heart and to help you see things differently. The way He sees things. Continue doing this. Continue talking with your mom, or a teacher you can trust. Instead of seeing your brother as a jerk and an irritation see him as someone that you love and someone that you would miss terribly if something bad were to happen to him. Even call your local crisis line. They can be pretty good listeners and more than willing to talk with you. I do not know what your denomination is but I do know that many churches have some very good youth groups where you can get involved. By becoming involved in positive activities and with positive people it makes your other issues less of a problem. There is a beautiful poem that I think speaks for itself. You might want to copy it and print it and put it up in your room or carry it around with you. Does God love you? Yes- and very very much. I’ll be praying for you.
Footprints in the Sand
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."
written by Mary Stevenson