Religious advice/encouragement/prayers for ex boyfriend and situation?

Question

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago, and it still bothers me more than anything. It plays a huge role in my life and I'm constantly crying because I guess I thought in my heart we would get back together. I know I don't want to be with who he is now but he is self destructing. He has completely stopped coming to our christian group and campus ministries. He has started drinking quite frequently which is something he has NEVER done before, especially since he hates beer. I'm really struggling because I feel like that isn't him and I want to grab him and shake him and say wake up but I can't. It's so difficult to see and to care so much. I'm thinking I should delete him from myspace, facebook and block his aim, but is that helpful. I think it may make me struggle more. I really would appreciate encouragement (especially religious), experience and advice. Thanks

Answer 1

Look...there is nothing you can do to help him. Three months is way to long for you to still be doing this to yourself. Delete the contacts and get on with your life.



I've been around people that drink all my life. Some of them have problems with it, some don't. If he is having an issue, the only thing that stops it is him wanting to stop. You can't make him do that. No one can. The absolute best you can do is get the drunk to stop drinking for a while. But if it wasn't his idea...he is going to go back.



Yeah...I know that sucks. I lost a good friend this way. But the reality is that is the reality.

Answer 2

I am sorry but i don't think you will be able to help him. you can only help the ones that want help. He has found him self in a hell. He is surrounded by all of his negative thought,Hate, and ego. He is hiding it with the booze. he drinks to get numb and to forget how his life or how he veiws himself is. He does not want help right now. He is in the state of mind to just try and forget it all. He should probably see someone to help him out of this hell that he has found himself in. I did and it has helped me understand why i thought what i thought. why i acted the way i act and so on. I have been in his shoes and i have also been where you are too. When i was in the situation that you are in I had to stay away but that was because he turned very abusive in the process of his hell that he was making. I don't want that to happen to you. As hard as it is you have to let him go and let him deal with this hell himself. especially if he becomes abusive. Trust me he will only bring you down with him. I have been in both position. i know. I really hope this helps you. if you need someone to talk to i am always here. I will be glad to give you more in site on the situation at hand if you ask. God bless you with the strength and guidance to see the truth in your situation. amen.

Answer 3

As a person who has been in this situation before... although it may seem pointless to keep on trying, you must! People can be extremely weak at times in their life, and even if it doesn't seem like you are making an impact, I promise you are! Guys honestly think differently than girls and guys in college are especially weird, but if you care about the guy then you will keep trying. My ex and I have been broken up for over 3 years, and the first of our break-up sounds just like your's, but as I persisted with my friendship and love of Christ... he started to become closer to his family and now we are very good friends.... I am still the one he turns to when times get really rough b/c I have my faith behind me to give him advice and help him along. Like the other people who have posted responses to your question... If it is tearing you up inside to a point where it effects your life then delete him from your life! Do it now before it is too late! I am telling you this sincerely! BUT, if you can't let him go.... then let him know you will be there for him if he ever needs you. Text him or message him every other week or so with an encouraging word or quote from the Bible! It might sound weird... but it worked for me and now that my ex is honestly going through the worst thing a guy could think to go through... he called me to give him encouragement and just to talk about the situation he was going through b/c he trusted me as a sister in God! I have been sending him a quote of encouragement from the Bible everyday and he is the most grateful in the world. Yeah... I will admit that every guy is different, but trying to help them (IF IT DOES NOT HURT YOU IN THE PROCESS!!!!!) is the way to go! Persistence is the key! I wish you the best in your journey b/c it can be a long one depending on the guy! GOD BLESS AND KEEP THE FAITH! I know you can make it through this with God's help!



P.S. Here is something to give you encourgement b/c every good christian needs a helping hand too! I don't know if you have heard this poem, but every time I read it, I am inspired!



ONLY BELIEVE



Has that trial in your life been going on so long

That everything in you screams, "This is so wrong."



You can't understand, it seems God is far away

As with tears you cry out to Him everyday,



If you read God's Word His truth you will see

That He has a job for you and a job for me,



ONLY BELIEVE! is what He has to say

At His feet this problem you must lay,



In His time and in His way

An answer to your problem will be there one day,



Keep on believing, don't lose hope

He'll give you His grace enabling you to cope,



Keep your eyes on Him as to Him you cleave

He has promised He will never forsake you or leave,



Give Him time to work it all out

The devil just wants you to worry and doubt,



Praising Him is one thing He's looking for

To bless you is what He has in store,



So no matter what, even when you don't understand

ONLY BELIEVE! that's what moves His hand.



Beverly Shaffer

Answer 4

pray for him ask all friends and family members to do the same God will find the way God has a plan for everyone.