i need help, gf's religious isolationist parents are driving her to suicide?

Question

me and my girlfriend have had a really healthy relationship (been dating over a year) and we care alot about eachother. this year we're going to college together. her parents are excessively religious and tell her stuff like shes a demon and going to hell for spending too much time on the computer. the parents also control internet usage for her 2 older brother and sister and 2 younger sisters.

her parents are very repressed and the subject of sex is very bad for them. they do everything they can to make sure there children do not know what sex is. me and my girlfriend have had sex (we use protection AND SHE IS NOT PREGNANT) and her parents found out a month ago, after searching her computer for no reason without her permission. the father then preceeded to save all of her online conversations, internet searches and all passwords onto a word document, confiscated her cellphone and interrogated her for everything.

at first her father didnt tell her mother for a few days. the punishment was brutal already, they decided to take away her license, internet and cellphone (she pays for her own phone). she is also not allowed to leave the house or be home alone under any circumstances. they also are being shady about college and might not let her go.

when the mother found out, she didnt talk to her for an entire day and then had a huge shouting arguement at her. the parents wanted to take her to a therapist but they didnt like any of them because they werent "moral" which means they want someone to yell at her for having sex. her mother told her if she wanted to continue to live in this house, shes gonna have to find herself spiritually and morally. my girlfriend had been crying for the entire week and then i didnt hear from her for a week and a half.

as of now its been a month. my girlfriend gets 15minutes of internet each night if shes good. she tells me her parents arent getting over this and take her good behavior as her just trying to get on there good side so she can go back to what she was doing before. shes been trying her hardest to prove to them that they can trust her but they just dont care. she has to sign a contract with them promising that she wont go anywhere but work when she has to go to work. she is 18 years old and is imprisoned in her house. her older brother has sex but the parents dont know. the oldest sister has been repressed into not having a social life and has never had a boyfriend, she turns 23 in august.

my girlfriend is in a really bad depression. she isnt religious like her parents, shes more of a realist. but her parents are very fundamentalist to the point where they isolate there children from outside media and culture. if my girlfriend wanted a phone or license, they would push her away by saying "why? so you can be like everyone else?" that's there response to everything.

she cant have a clear coherent conversation with her parents. they wont get over what happened. my girlfriend have never felt more alone, isolated or hated.

i dont know what parent would do this to their child but im seriously concerned for her. does anyone have any advice for her that i can pass on?

Answer 1

I would let her know that the feelings her parents are pushing on her are very unhealthy and abusive. As much as she must still love her parents, it's easy to see from her depression and isolation that this is not a healthy environment for her to be in. She is certainly not a demon, and whenever her parents tell her that kind of thing it constitutes verbal abuse. I would advise her to contact the university she wants to attend and let them know she may have to leave her parents care and ask what her options are for paying for school herself. There is financial aid available and worst case scenario she can take out a federal student loan, for which a cosigner is unnecessary. I seriously strongly suggest she moves out of her parents home as soon as possible and plan a life for herself independent of their support. It's hard, but I did it at 18, and I'm still in college and enjoying it. She can do it too, and she will have the freedom to figure out for herself what kind of person she is and wants to be without being abused.

Answer 2

They have five kids... How could you think they repress sex?



They just didn't want her daughter to be defiled by some college guy that will probably drop her in a year.



If you didn't want this to happen to her, you shouldn't have sent eachother e-mails telling eachother how good you each were when you had sex. Just a thought.

Answer 3

that is ****** up! she is 18 so legally she can live anywhere. why doesnt she move in with a close friend or you other wise shes fed

Answer 4

Getting her to a counselor is the best you can do for her...not bashing her family on here.

Answer 5

have her run away. my parents are like hers and the only times i've been happy were when i was on the run... i HATE parents like this, they don't deserve to have children.