Oh, I am so happy that Jesus is pulling you back to Him!
"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbours together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'"
That is the joy Jesus feels when one person who has left Him turns back and is saved again. Jason answered it but I would like to expand it to make you understand better.
"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" (Romans 3:23)
This means, that everyone in the world has fallen into sin, because sin entered the world through Adam when he fell into Satan's temptation and ate the forbidden fruit, also who hasn't broken the 10 commandments given by God? This means, we, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, all need a Saviour to redeem us from our sins.
"And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness." (Hebrews 9:22)
Hebrews is basically saying that without Jesus' blood, there cannot be any forgiveness for mankind. And it has to be Jesus, because He is the Son of God who became the human in order to suffer on the cross and physically die.
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin." (Hebrews 4:15) (that's why when you pray to Jesus about your problems, sufferings, He understands and cares because He's been tempted in every way you had when He was a human, but did not sin!!)
What makes Christianity stand out amongst so many other religions is that other religions point to a way to go to heaven (Muslims must pray 5x a day, and then go to their holy place called mecca, in order to reach "enlightenment" and hope that their good works are more than their bad works), point out that everything is just a state of mind (Buddhism), or have so many Gods and unclear instructions about the relationship between man and God. However, Christianity, based on the preaching of Jesus Christ, said that "Jesus said to him, "I am the WAY, and the TRUTH, and the LIFE; no one comes to the Father but through Me."
Throughout Jesus' life on earth, He did so many things that the teachers of Jewish laws (pharisees) thought as a blasphemy, saying that He has the authority to forgive sins, performing miracles; healing the lame and sick. He even predicted His own death and resurrection, which needed to happen for our sins to be forgiven. I suggest you read the New Testament (starting from the book of John) to find out more about who Jesus Christ really is. Afterward, during Acts of the Apostles, where Jesus has risen and commanded His followers to preach the Good News of Salvation, you would witness how all his followers so much torment and suffering from many people, but strived to preach Jesus' testimony and made so many people believe! Their efforts made me really see that these people wouldn't have gone through so much, sacrificed so much, if Jesus wasn't real.
Thus, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6:23). Notice that eternal life is a FREE GIFT FROM GOD because we couldn't redeem ourselves, Christ did it on the cross. So if you confess your sins and believe in Jesus, He will cleanse you of your sins and forgive you.
"Come now, let us settle the matter," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. (Isaiah 1:18)
Isn't God so merciful and loving?
However, once you do repent and come back to Christ, you must live a HOLY LIFE for Jesus and KEEP AWAY FROM SIN by continually praying to Jesus for strength and repentance, if you did sin, because your life has been redeemed by Christ. After getting to know Jesus more and developing a relationship with Him, He will surely respond to you and put new desires in your heart to serve Him and preach the good news to others as well.
Works is the fruit of salvation, to show God that your faith is genuine and real. "Therefore bear fruit in keeping with repentance;" (Matthew 3:8)
True Christians, not church-goers, will agree that
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)
I know that this may be a lot to take in, and I have more things I would like to say too, but this is such a wonderful first step you have taken to be reconciled with Jesus. He is waiting for you :)
PM me if you want to talk more about Christ, I will be more than willing to answer anymore questions.
Ps. I used to be so scared of satan, demons etc because my teacher would tell stories of ghosts when I was a child, and what I use to meditate on to combat fear is knowing that the spirit of fear is from the devil, and not from God, and that God commanded us not to fear what can kill the flesh but HIM who is so almighty and powerful, who will judge where we will spend eternity. Honestly, satanic powers cannot touch you if you are a true Child of God, since God promised that:
"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10)
"For the arms of the wicked will be broken, But the LORD sustains the righteous." (Psalms 37:17)
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him" (Psalms 28:7)
More verses where God promises that He is with us when we fear, so we shouldn't fear anything else but God. http://www.openbible.info/topics/fear_and_anxiety