Question:
Is there a way to leave the Jehovah's witnesses after baptism without losing all your friends and family?
anonymous
2009-04-15 20:01:04 UTC
I am just wondering if i am going to be psychologically trapped if i become a member. if they hold my new husband as some sort of ransom to keep me in it, that would be torture. or if my kids become members, will they still respect my right to leave and join another religion if I choose to, without putting ny constraints on our relationship.
Eleven answers:
kemist63
2009-04-16 09:25:54 UTC
To directly answer your question. Yes you will be psychologically trapped. This is going to be hard for you. Since you are not a member, don't join. I have seen many families ripped apart because of the religion.



If you join and decide to leave. That is called disassociating yourself. At that point, your family involvement would be restricted to family issues, if they are baptized witnesses. That does include no going out to dinner or movies with the family, by their rules.You will also lose contact with any witness friends you may have made.



Don't let your children become members. If they do, then they cannot join sports or other activities because it would be in violation of 1COR 15:33. They would have to friends that are witnesses. They would be discouraged about going to college also.



If you decide not to be baptized and start going to another church, then you would be marked as bad association and they would not allow you to join in any activities at the kingdom hall. But your family life would be more intact.



If you get baptized and later fade away or become inactive. Then decide to attend another church. If the elders find out, they will insist that you attend a Judaical committee and they will disfellowship you even if you are repentant. If you are DF'ed, then your family and friends cannot associate with you.



The best advise is for you to stay free from the religion. Pursue another church and focus on the care of your family. Any church that exercises extreme control over you and your family is not following bible principles.
?
2016-05-26 04:27:47 UTC
step away quietly. Are you familiar with the techniques of mind control? - Environmental Isolation – When an individual is put into a setting where they are isolated from society at large and information can be controlled. Without an alternate viewpoint people find it increasingly difficult to question their reality and the principles that they believe. - Extremism – The point of view that “you are either with us or against us” and that there is no common ground between the two perspectives. This type of persuasion is very effective to isolate dissenters and to quell their dissent. - Exploitation of Personal Imperfection - A person becomes subordinate to the illusionist when it is revealed that they have done wrong or are missing something useful. With “help,” either by purchasing a product or buying into the beliefs, they can be fixed. Usually perfection cannot be attained, but is rather an ideology. - Manipulation of the Language – The illusionist will often change the meaning of words to have new me 3 weeks ago - Manipulation of the Language – The illusionist will often change the meaning of words to have new meanings that serve to promote their cause. Advertisers are great at this when they name their products similar names to actual words. - Unbelievable Results – Illusionists will often have “magical” events transpose or unlikely events happen to them by “coincidence” because of their ideals or their superior products. In reality the events were planned ahead of time to serve the purpose of the demonstration. - Unquestionable Doctrine – The illusionist cannot be questioned or doubted. Any dissent against the performer is handled by ostracizing and embarrassing the skeptics. If this is not effective, physical removal and isolation are then used.
X
2009-04-17 03:28:14 UTC
*SIGH*........yet another slanderous attack of a "question" coming from the anti-JW cult community, I see.



First, if you've gotten baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, what possible reason could you have for wanting to leave so soon afterwards? If you weren't sure that was the way of life for you, why did you choose to dedicate and baptize yourself as one of Jehovah's people? Don't give me any garbage about "well I was just so pressured by everyone else that I went along with it".......it was YOUR decision to make.



Secondly, only YOU can make yourself "psychologically trapped" to anything. Nobody holds anyone for ransom, and if you choose to disassociate yourself, then you would be removing yourself from the congregation and would be properly viewed as an expelled member. If your children are living with you, then they would continue in spending time with you. If they live outside of the home, they would wisely only spend time with you when it was absolutely necessary, such as in a family emergency.



Obedience and devotion to God and his laws transcends family ties.
Rachel R
2009-04-17 05:18:53 UTC
my parents converted to J.W.s and they still keep in contact with all their family members and friends who aren't J.W.s. i have a bit of a large family so i know only those who visit my grandmother on my mom's side. i have best friends who are non J.W.s i have friends who are Christians, varying religions in Christianity, Hindus, Muslims and Atheists. my two aunts are d/f but due to how the setting is i can't stop talking to my aunts. their kids and other cousins will be wondering what is going on? so my step uncle is an elder and he speaks to her, limited though, when she is there. we all do the same. they won't and cannot keep your family as a ransom for you to stay. if you know you are going to leave eventually, better you just don't join. most likely if your kids are J.W.s they will not speak to you unless it is necessary. my aunts just have to say their lucky. :)
My2Cents
2009-04-16 16:52:06 UTC
If that worries you, don't get baptize just be happy for your husband and allow him to worship his God. You can go to the meetings, assemblies, and conventions with him there's nothing wrong with that. The only concern is what if Jehovah's day comes tomorrow, net week, next month, next year, etc? How will you answer Jehovah's son Jesus?



You can take a study to learn what Jehovah requires of you and if you don't think you can be one of Jehovah's Witnesses then don't get baptize. Either way you still have to answer to Jehovah's son Jesus at Armageddon. Here's a famous quote as to whom you are going to serve.



(Joshua 24:14-15) “And now fear Jehovah and serve him in faultlessness and in truth, and remove the gods that YOUR forefathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt, and serve Jehovah. 15 Now if it is bad in YOUR eyes to serve Jehovah, choose for yourselves today whom YOU will serve, whether the gods that YOUR forefathers who were on the other side of the River served or the gods of the Am′or‧ites in whose land YOU are dwelling. But as for me and my household, we shall serve Jehovah.”



And Proverbs teach us to love Jehovah and not forgetting his commandments.



Proverbs 4:4-7: And he would instruct me and say to me: “May your heart keep fast hold of my words. Keep my commandments and continue living. 5 Acquire wisdom, acquire understanding. Do not forget, and do not turn aside from the sayings of my mouth. 6 Do not leave it, and it will keep you. Love it, and it will safeguard you. 7 Wisdom is the prime thing. Acquire wisdom; and with all that you acquire, acquire understanding.
Ish Var Lan Salinger
2009-04-16 07:18:33 UTC
Funny.



Despite what has, at times, been claimed on Y!A, your children would still be...Your children, and Your husband would still be Your husband.



As for leaving after being baptised. Your query reminds me of my brother. After making a commitment, in the case of your question it would be Baptism, in his case, it was marraige, he decided he shouldn't have to honor his commitment. Eventually, his wife Divorced him. He at times Still acts surprised when she, or for that matter I, don't seem to want to be around him. He broke his commitment, it's a Serious matter.
lizziewicklund
2009-04-16 00:30:28 UTC
Well, from experience of being a Jehovahs Witness, they would not hold your children ransom...they do at least try to abide by the law...sometimes. You will be psychologically trapped. They are a cult. I used to be one and now I have found the true God. You can leave with your children and I suggest you do! They will not respect your right and will ban you from having contact with those who are witnesses...I am sure you know of the term "disfellowshipped". If you have a family member who is a witness, they will be instructed to not talk to you, have any interaction with you and shun you for not believing in their religion. Please, please the best thing you can do is to pray and pray hard. Look to your bible for answers. Jehovahs Witnesses have changed their minds on all kinds of issues but God does not. He is consistent. They are a cult and I know this without a doubt. Please do not join a religion based on your husband. Because when it comes down to the end, you will have to answer to God for what you believed. That is what my mother did and it just resulted in so many bad things! Please please please listen to my advice! If you need someone to talk to about this please email me! This is your life and your childrens life we are talking about!
anonymous
2009-04-15 23:52:47 UTC
if you choose to leave, thats fine. they will encourage you to continue, but they are not going to put a strain on your family. the members of the congregation may not socialize with you as they did before, but they should not treat you badly or you family for that matter
anonymous
2009-04-16 19:44:31 UTC
if you are not sure then don't get baptized. you have to be resolved in your heart that you will stay faithful to Jehovah no matter what. Don't get baptized for your friends and family. If you get baptized you have to do it for Jehovah. i know how it feels, i am disfellowshipped.
grandpa
2009-04-19 11:33:51 UTC
hm -

well,

die.



now. why not be honest and tell us what your real issue is?



[you don't think we bought this garbage do you?]





which church is your membership in?

really, honesty is the best policy.

right now, you are NOT being honest.



ask your preacher/ imam/ priest if presenting yourself

in such a manner is honest; ask him if HE would do it.



gramps
anonymous
2009-04-16 12:30:03 UTC
If you attempt to leave they will cut off communication with you. Best advice - get away asap


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