Need the Jewish answer pls. Would God consider us married if we asked & prayed? Or do we officially need it to be legal by a Rabbi/Other?

Question

Christians DO NOT ANSWER. IDC what the Bible says. I used to be a Lutheran my bf was Methodist & now we are converting to Judaism in the future. We don't have a Rabbi/Jewish institution in town, but we will be moving. So I really don't want Christians to answer, b/c you're just spamming/chatting/ranting.

When I was 16 we prayed and asked God to unite us & marry us. We treated each other as husband and wife ever since. In our country it was not legal to get married so young, so we begged God to do it. Does he actually consider us married? If I marry someone else is it adultery? If I was a single woman and had sex did I fornicate b/c someone1 said that's only a christian thing?

I need to know if the Torah or Talmud says anything about this. Or a similar situation. Have I sinned? How can I repent?

Most importantly would a Rabbi consider me married already? Since we specifically begged God would he view us as married still? Or did it not count from the get go?
Please help. I've had to post this multiple times & no real answer yet. I need to know where in the Torah it says I sinned or did not. Or that my marriage is or is not valid. I'm sry for asking this so many times but I desperately need help answering this question.

Answer 1

In Judaism you would NOT be married as you need witnesses to the fact that can attest in court that you were married.



In masechta Kiddushin (the tractate of the Tamud dealing with marriage) the first Mishnah (oral law) states: "In three ways a man acquires a wife: with money, with a contract and through sexual relations." Teh Gemorrah (explanation of the MIshnah) teaches" What is money? He give the woman a gift of value in front of witnesses and states it is for the purpose of marriage. She accepts the gift in front of the witnesses. In the modern marriage ceremony the giving of the ring is done for this purpose and the witnesses stand right next to themto make sure they see him giving, and her accepting, the ring.



When it comes to a contract this refers to the "Ketubah" (marriage contract)- today this is signed before the ceremony by the witnesses (yes, strictly speaking they are married before the ceremony).



The thrd way is nOT used today and is forbidden. The gemorah states it is not allowed as it is shameful and brings shame on the woman. How did it work? The couple would state to the witnesses that they were going to have sexual relations with the purpose of gettign married. They would then go into a private area and spend enough time alone for them to be able to have relations. However, just having relations is NOT enough to get married, there have to be witnesses. Praying to G-d is not sufficient as G-d cannot be called as a witness to prove a marriage took place and except for in very specific circumstances we never accept the word of only one witness!



Edit: Kaganate's can disagree all he likes: the Halacha is clear: no witnesses means no wedding. There is no disagreement on this and if he has learned differently it was not from an authoritative Jewish source!

Answer 2

Well, God makes covenants with specific men for different reasons.



So I think for that reason, and based on the teachings in the Torah, I would say God considers/views you two as married. With that being said, he also forgives ppl from sins, so even if you chose to marry someone else I think you'd be okay. But that's just my opinion, & I don't know the specific scriptures to back it up. sry if that doesn't help.



as far as fornication goes - premarital sex - not sure if that's actually a sin in Judaism.



But I do notice u already have more christians and athiests spamming your answers. sry for that. but unfortunately on here you get a lot of ppl who WILL disrespect you and your question format. they are trolls. ignore. imo u should contact a local rabbi or authority on the subject. u might get answers from someone who is orthodox or something and not even realize it. you have specific beliefs clearly so you should contact an authority figure on the subject. if you don't know one yet, i recommend getting started on the subject immediately b/c you most likely have other unanswered questions.



& honestly, if you've asked this many times and are only getting chat/rant/spam/harassment/privacy invasion form Athiests and Christians realize there might just not be a large enough Jewish community on here that knows the answer to this question. So you don't need to waste your points re asking.



Hope you get an answer from a Jewish person who knows their Torah!



Best of luck, dear!

Answer 3

I strongly recomend you ask a specialy trained rabbi about this matter.



While I mostly agree with Allonyoav, there are some minor differences in how I have learned the matter and my final result if pressed for it would, I believe be different from his final result.



I don't believe any possibility of past "fornication" is an issue,

however, the danger of future "adultery" if you don't have a proper final ruling IS a serious one.



So -- this is not something to discuss on Y!A -- it is something to discuss with your rabbi.

Answer 4

No



The Torah provides very little guidance with regard to the procedures of a marriage. The method of finding a spouse, the form of the wedding ceremony, and the nature of the marital relationship are all explained in the Talmud.



Read more



http://www.jewfaq.org/marriage.htm

Answer 5

Why would you convert to Judaism? Judaism hasn't been RIGHT since AD 70 when God's prescribed way of atoning for sin went away with the Temple?



I'm just asking because I was brought up Lutheran and left the church at the age of 16, not even knowing who Jesus was. I didn't know Who Jesus was because Lutherans don't teach the relationship God wants us to have. They teach a slightly less version or the false ROMAN CATHOLICISM.



Have you thought about seeking Jesus Christ on your own? Jesus IS the Jewish Messiah. He's on every page of the Tanakh. EVERY SINGLE PAGE.



As a Lutheran, I never would have known this. Now, as a follower of Jesus Christ, it's EASY TO SEE.



Sorry for the interruption but I hate to see ex-Lutherans give up Christ because of that skin-deep, name-only version of Christianity.