Question for Christians - legitimate or illegitimate?

Question

My father and mother dated in their early 20s. My mother broke things off because she didn't feel my father loved her. My father rebounded and married someone else. The marriage only lasted a few years, no children resulted, and my father's ex-wife nearly ruined him financially. He returned to my mother, said she was right and he hadn't shown her that he loved her, and eventually they married and had my sister, my brother and me. They have been married nearly 35 years.

My question to Christians is this: because my father was married and divorced before he married my mother, would you consider their marriage "valid" in the eyes of God and would my siblings and I be legitimate or illegitimate? Both of my parents are Christians, and my mother was a church secretary for two decades. I'm very curious on what the response will be, based on other responses I've seen.

Answer 1

Legit, no question.

Even though God hates divorce (actually the cause of it), It was God who instituted divorce. By the term 'divorce' I mean the legal end of a marriage by an act of law-not just a separation.

I believe the first mention (without looking it up) of divorce in the Bible is in Deuteronomy 24. Without going into too much detail, the requirement God puts on the divorce is that you "...write her a certificate of divorce and put it in her hand...". Basically that means if you are going to get a divorce -you must make it legal.



Now, some denominations like the Catholic church (there may be others) do not recognize a legal divorce for any reason for their members. However they do recognize a process in the church call an 'annulment'. This means that your marriage was erased, it is as though it never happened.



Your father made a mistake in the past. If he repented, and made his divorce legal, then God does not even remember it. And, he certainly does not hold you and your siblings responsible. That's is what the Bible says. Different religions make up their own rules. But God is clear where he stands. You are not guilty in His eyes. And really, that's all that counts.

Have a good day.

Answer 2

The issue has alot to do with the reasons the your Father's first marriage ended - which you don't fully state.

Read 1 Corinthians Chapter 7, those are the reasons for ending a marriage that God gives.

Your Father was married, and did so with vows before God I assume.

However - it sounds as if God has blessed the marriage with your Mother greatly... I would not consider yourself or your siblings any less because of these circumstances.

You need to consult someone other than Yahoo! Answers for this - find a good church with someone you trust and talk to them about it.

Answer 3

It doesn't matter if you're legitimate or illegitimate. That's really not an issue. Loving God is what's important. Christians aren't supposed to dwell on the past. That's the point of forgiveness through Jesus Christ. The past no longer matters.



Love is what's important. Your parents love one another. They love you and your siblings. You should love God, He loves you. He loves all of us. A lot of people miss that point.



A lot of Christians get caught up in this idea of marriages being valid and who should be allowed to marry. Jesus never really made a big deal out of that. He even implied that anyone you've ever slept with was considered your spouse, but He never condemned anyone for it. Many Christians have just chosen to make marriage a bigger issue than it really is. It's sad really.



God bless you for a mature, honest question. Thanks for sharing such a private thing.

Answer 4

The question of "legitimacy" has gone the way of the buggy whip. My original birth certificate, issued by Cook County [Chicago] had a box where "legitimate" could be checked, but the machine-printed versions now being issued no longer have this. Your father's first marriage was, while it lasted, valid; his present marriage is valid also. Rejoice in having a good family, and don't be concerned with irrelevancies such as Christianity.

Answer 5

There is no such thing as an illegitimate child. It is the parents that are illegitimate if anyone is - the child is innocent of any wrongdoing and should never be labeled for the parents mistakes. However, I am not saying your parents are "illegitimate" or that their marriage is not "valid." I do not believe it is for me to judge that even though I do not believe in divorce except in the case of adultery.

Answer 6

Oh yes ! In this circumstance, I believe your Parents Marriage is Valid in the eyes of God. You and your Siblings are very Legitimate.

Answer 7

Thiis one is not a simple question and I will try to explain why. Whether your parents marriage is valid to God is based on how God viewed the previous divorce. Was their adultry? We just cant leave a mate because we dont like cerain behaviour. Marriage is a lifetime thing. Its how God designed it, even tho that is not a popular belief. I know adultry is the only way out of marriage according to God. Yet, I hav done some study on this. The word adultry didnt used to just refer to sex outside of marriage. The word they used back then was used to describe, when a person stops being the mate they promised to be that God tells them to be. SO, if a man is say beating you, many in church would say thats not grounds for divorce, only adultry But, when you ralize that adultry isnt just sexual, that ismeans departing from how God wants it, it changes things. When that person will not love you and treat you as God says, that is true adultry. So, if your father divorced after trying to be the husband God called him to be, and she wouldnt do her part as a wife as God explains how to do it, then your dad would have grounds for divorce that were ok with God. and, the new marriage would be excepted by God. But, if your dad just didnt try and ran out on her, he would need to seriously repent of what he did, and go to the ex and apoloigze and ask for forgivenss, and ask God for forgivenss before the new marriage would be acceptable to GOD.

As to the children being legitimate or not, this is one I just hate. Because all children are legitimate to God. they have no say on how or where they were born, and are just innocent kids, and should be treated as such. You have nothing to feel bad about or apologize for. You are very legitimate to God, no matter what.

Sounds like your parents now have a great marriage, and that is good. God is blessing them, which tells me your dad may be ok in the eys of God. When God is not thrilled with things, He doesnt bless it.

so, just be sure your dad knows he did what God called him to do to do his part, and that he is ok with God.

It sounds like you have abeautiful Christian home, and God is blessing you too. For others that attempt to judge you and call you names as illigitimate, dont hear it. thats judging, and you dont have to recive it. Just do what you can for God and stay in obedience, and all will be great for you. Only your dad has to ask God if He did it all right. Thats not even your concern. PPL must own up to what they do, and never expect thekids to do it. Just go talk to your dad, if he is Christian, he will listen. Share your concerns, talk, pray together, and ask God. Then, you will KNOW. God belss you. full gospel shirley

Answer 8

the only ground for divorce scripturally is adultery

I understand where you are coming from but what does it matter your parents have enjoyed a happy marriage and have 3 children to call it a success, if your fathers previous wife has remarried then yes it is legitimate before God

Answer 9

It all depends on the denomination of Christianity you belong to. Catholics believe you are married for life. Others accept divorce. The final word is what you believe. In my opinion you exist therefore you are legitimate. It doesn't matter what some guy in a dress thinks.

Answer 10

Were your parents married in a church before God? If so, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and say it's legitimate. However, only their relationship with God can make it so.

Answer 11

Jesus said the only valid reason to divorce someone was for

adultery. Because there are spiritual powers at work we don't

understand, that create poweful bonds, that will have to be

atoned for later if we don't live up to our agreements.

Technically, both you father and his previous wife have had

sex with another. So I would think that takes away most of

the karmic debt.

Answer 12

It is true that Jesus said anyone who divorces his wife on terms other then adultery has himself committed adultery. But it really depends on the individuals themselves, if they had really dedicated themselves to God. A lot of Christians are nominal at best. I obviously don't know of your family circumstances, and even if one did, it is really the individual that best determines according to their conscience if they have wronged. No one else can say so (apart from God!)

Answer 13

Just because your father has a rocky past doesn't make him no greater or lesser in the eyes of the lord.If he has repented to Jesus Christ for his sin's,then there is nothing to worry about.

Legitimate question,but your focus should be on you and your families salvation.The devil wants us to live and dwell on things of the past.That life makes for a Christian that is held back from serving the lord.

Move forward,and don't look back.You will be glad you did.Do not dwell on things in the past,because they will eat you alive.



Peace be unto you and your family.

Answer 14

Hey. God judges a person on what they know is right. I don't think it's right to divorce unless one partner has cheated on or abused the other. Many people disagree with me, as I'm sure you know.



I wouldn't call any child illegitimate. Every child should be valued and respected.

Answer 15

If your father divorced his first wife on grounds other than adultery, he then committed adultery when he married your mother.



Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.



That does not say you are not legitimate. As God is concerned they are married. But there is an act of adultery that will be accounted for if repentence, instruction, and council is not in the loop

Answer 16

If I was to be technical, and ignore all my Lutheran teachings about God seeing us Christians as clothed in Christ because of his sacrifice for us and all that other stuff, I would have to say, yeah, there is a legitimacy. After all, weren't your parents married to each other beforehand? There's no illegitimacy that I am capable of seeing in this.

Answer 17

It is not as easy as black and white here. I know some denominations will say that the marriage is not valid. But I believe that may be wrong. As GOD is a GOD who gives us a second chance, HE does not see this as wrong, since you say your parents are Christians, GOD does accpect them as they are now.

Answer 18

Jesus said because of the hardness of your hearts I''l let you divorce.

There is only one sin we can't be forgiven for. Blasphemy against the Holy Ghost.

I hope to meet you and your family in the rapture someday.

May God bless your home.

Answer 19

The marriage is valid.

If the first marriage did not end due to adultery, it is not what could be termed a 'biblical divorce'.

However, what one does due to ignorance should not be held against them.

Answer 20

Republican, Tod Akin is a feminine hygiene product and the bag it comes in. Rape is rape and all rape is despicable, no mater what he says. And, if the story is to be believed, then lot wasn't all that drunk. If a man is so drunk that he doesn't know what's happening to him, then his "little man" is not going to function properly. If Lot's "little man" did function properly, then he knew he was screwing his own daughters.

Answer 21

all mistakes, sins can be forgiven,possibly he asked God to forgive his sins, if so it should be ok. Not what God intended for marriage to be but it has happened.

Answer 22

you were all born after the marriage took place so you are all legitimate.

Answer 23

how can people claim that anyone is 'illegitimate'? makes no sense.

Answer 24

You are too old to being asking such juvenile questions.

Answer 25

You and sibs are legit.

Answer 26

If they are born-again then it is irrelevent. If they are then all sins have been forgiven by God. That is the key though. The question is not to look at one act and determine whether that act was forgiven by God but to look at all of our acts and determine if they have all been forgiven.



The easiest way to do this is by using the test God has given us. Do you consider yourself to be a good person? Most people do. However, most of us differ as to the definition of "good." The Bible says that God is good, and the Ten Commandments are His standard of goodness. So, we will look at God's Law as a test on whether or not we are good in the eyes of the Lord. . . With a tender conscience, ask yourself if you have obeyed the following:



1. You shall have no other gods before Me. (Have you always loved God above all else?)



2. You shall not make yourself an idol. (Have you made a god in your mind that you're more comfortable with, a god to suit yourself?)



3. You shall not take God's name in vain. (Have you ever used God's holy Name as a cuss word?)



4. Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy.



5. Honor your father and mother.



6. You shall not murder. (God considers hatred to be as murder).



7. You shall not commit adultery. ("Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart" Matthew 5:27-28; this also includes sex before marriage).



8. You shall not steal. (Have you ever stolen anything? (the value of the item is irrelevant).



9. You shall not lie. (Have you lied even once? Including answering these questions).



10. You shall not covet. (Have you ever jealously desired what belongs to others?)



The Bible says that God will punish all murderers, rapists, thieves, liars, adulterers, etc. He will even judge our words and thoughts. On Judgment Day, will you be found to be guilty or innocent of breaking His commandments?



Perhaps you think that God is good, and will therefore overlook your sins. But it is His goodness that will make sure that murderers, rapists, thieves, liars, etc. receive justice. He would be a corrupt Judge if He turned a blind eye to injustice. Have you kept the Commandments?



The Bible says that the Law is perfect. It commands you to be perfect (Matthew 5:48). Are you perfect (in thought, word, and deed)? Will you make it to Heaven? You may say that you are still good, but God says you're not (see Psalm 14:2-3). So one of you is lying, and the Scriptures tell us that it is impossible for God to lie. Remember that all liars will be cast into the Lake of Fire (Revelation 21:8). God's Law demands justice, and the penalty for sinning against Him is death and Hell. Listen carefully if you want to live.



God Himself made a way where His justice and His goodness could meet. We broke the Law, but He became a man to pay the fine. Jesus suffered and died on the cross to satisfy the Law. God can forgive us and grant us the gift of everlasting life! But you may still think that you can (from now on) keep the Ten Commandments. But isn't it true that the best of us have lied, stolen, lusted, hated, failed to love God above all else, and failed to love our neighbor as ourselves?



How can we then, live a "good" life if we have already sinned against God? At best we are reformed liars and thieves . . . but still Lawbreakers. Think of it this way - would you sell one of your eyes for a million dollars? Would you sell both for $50 million? I'm sure you wouldn't. Your eyes are priceless, yet they are merely the windows of your soul. What then must your life (soul) be worth? With these thoughts in mind, what would be a fair price to pay for everlasting life? It is utterly without price. Yet, if we trust in our own goodness to enter Heaven, we are saying to God, "I should enter Heaven because I have done good - I have earned my way in."



Imagine if you wanted to give me a brand new (very expensive) car, but I said, "I can't take it! I feel embarrassed receiving such a gift . . . here's 10 cents for it." I'm sure you would be very insulted by such a pathetic offer of payment. Besides, if I pay for it, it is no longer a gift, it's a purchase . . . it's mine by right.



When we talk of entering Heaven by being good, by trying to keep the Ten Commandments etc., we are tossing God 10 cents of "self-righteousness," which is a terrible insult to Him, in the light of His sacrifice. The only thing we can do is humble ourselves, repent of our sins, and receive the gift by trusting Jesus Christ alone. Almighty God demonstrated how much He loves you when Jesus suffered for you on the cross. If you want to trust in your own goodness, then you are saying His agonizing death on the cross was in vain. The Bible says, "For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." You cannot earn a gift.



When Jesus said to "believe" on Him, He was saying we should have faith in Him, in the same way you would trust a parachute to save you when you jump from a plane. You don't merely believe in the parachute - you put it on. Please don't "jump" without Jesus. If you die in your sins there is no second chance. God will give you justice, and you will end up in Hell forever. Any troubles you have at present are dwarfed by the trouble you are in with your Creator. His wrath abides upon you (John 3:36). God doesn't want you to go to Hell. Neither do you want to go there, so confess your sins to God right now, put your trust in Jesus to save you, and you will pass from death to life. Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read. (See John 14:21). Your obedience to God is the proof of your love. Have faith in God, He will never fail you.



Pray something like this:



"Dear God, today I turn away from all of my sins (name them). This day I put my trust in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. He is the only way for me to be saved. He is 'The way, the truth, and the life.'" Please forgive me, change my heart, and grant me Your gift of everlasting life. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."



If you have gotten this far and read the whole thing then I want to thank you and hope that it has somehow spoken to you and your heart....it's more important to look at the totallity of our life than just a few indiscressions here and there. For this is what we will be judged on, not just one thing here or there but all things.

Answer 27

neither

Answer 28

Your mom and dad love you... if god has a problem with that then **** him!!