Are converts to Judaism treated with discrimination?

Question

I keep reading about people who convert to Judaism (many of them Orthodox, so in theory their conversion should be accepted by most traditions) who face discrimination, despite the commandment that Gerim are supposed to be treated equally and not reminded of the fact that they were once not Jewish. How common is this? I was planning on converting to Judaism, but if most Jews will look down on me like some kind of weird bug or something, then... well, I'll still convert, but it won't be as good a thing as I was expecting. I mean, I expect some dislike of converts, but is this attitude really as widespread as much of the internet would have you believe? I've read several sites which have talked about the unwillingness of natural born Jews to date or marry converts. That kind of sucks, because you also can't marry outside of the faith. So if you convert, you can't marry a Jewish woman (unless you're apparently lucky enough to find one who doesn't mind that you are a convert), and you can't marry a non-Jewish woman. So I guess you just have to stay single. But that goes against the Torah, which says to get married and have kids! Is it really that hard to find a natural-born Jew who is willing to marry a convert? Or am I sort of-kind of-a little... blowing it out of proportion?

Basically, how bad is discrimination against converts in the Jewish community?

Answer 1

This is actually rather complicated. I am Jewish and I was born to a Jewish parents (my father actually studied to be a Rabbi and I am studying to be a Rabbi) so I study this stuff.

If you convert via an Orthodox conversion you are to be seen as every bit as Jewish as someone who was born to Jewish parents minus the fact that a Kohen cannot marry a female convert.

Now, that said, there are some who do look down on converts even though halacha says we are not to do that. Yes these people do exist but they tend to be much older and they tend to be very self righteous and rather arrogant to begin with. On the the flip side, there are people like my family, who hold converts in a little higher esteem than those of us born Jewish because they have chosen to take on Jewish law and Jewish obligations when they did not have to. They have chosen to be a part of the Jewish people knowing that means a very different life than they were used to and knowing it can and probably at some point will mean discrimination and persecution.

So, yes, there is discrimination but it is no the norm in the least. I would assume there are people in other faiths who might look down on converts as well because bigotry exist across the human spectrum and Jews are not immune.

What you do get more of are Orthodox Jews who are somewhat hostile to Reform Jews (born or convert) because they do not see them fulfilling halacha. This is also not that common (most just worry about themselves and their family) but it too does happen.

I think most people, at least from my experience, who convert to Orthodox Judaism, they are accepted (by the community) long before the conversion process is actually complete. They attend Shul and thought are not counting in a Minyan, they often attend Shul in the morning, afternoon and evening. They live as a Jew (and for a male that is rather obvious as you wear a kippah, tzitzit, etc that "marks" you as a Jew beyond all doubt). Some people do not want males to wear tzitzit before the conversion is complete and others say they should but regardless. My family and most of the people I know hold converts in a little higher esteem but yes, you may meet someone who looks down on converts but they are going against Jewish law.

Answer 2

Several of the responses here are accurate, and the Reform ones point to a more open attitude towards just about everything, and Orthodox ones towards a more closed attitude (sorry, this is just the truth, whether you see this as good or bad).



I'm a convert to Reform Judaism (my conversion was halakhic so it's respected in Conservative Judaism as well), and I've always been warmly accepted by my community. As Aravah said, Jews don't even ask if you're a convert, and that's been my experience, too (although I'm "open" about being a convert).

Answer 3

I can't answer with a blanket statement because the level of discrimination you will experience as a convert will vary depending on the branch of Judaism you join and the tolerance level of the particular Temple you become a member of.



If you were to join a Reform Temple, the odds that you will be accepted as a full member of the Jewish community is extremely high as Reform Jews tend to be the most liberal and forward-thinking. I belong to a Reform Temple and we have many members who converted to the faith and many more who are members of mixed-religion marriages. All are treated equally; all are as welcome to participate in activities and become board members as those who were born into the faith.



Now, as you move to the more strict denominations of Judaism, such as the Orthodox and Hassidic Jews, you may find yourself singled out more often. And even here I would not want to make a blanket statement... I'm sure there are some Orthodox Temples that are welcoming and accepting of their converts, just as I'm sure there are others that don't really embrace those that choose to join the faith.



Just like any group... your level of acceptance will depend entirely on the enviroment and the members of the group you are trying to join. If you find a good group of people who use their faith as a means of building unity and community, you'll probably fit right in. If you should be unfortunate enough to join a group that is less accepting, then you may find yourself feeling like an intruder in their midst.



Research the Temples available in your area... meet with their members and attend Temple functions. When you find the place that makes you feel at home, you'll have found the right place for you.



Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm not sure where you got the information that there's widespread discrimination amongst Jews against converts but I've never witnessed this. I know that in my community converts are fully embraced by pretty much everyone (yes, every group has their jerks, I like to ignore them myself).



This being said, it is true that there are issues related to type of conversion. Outside of the Reform movement, almost no one accepts a Reform conversion as valid. Conservative conversions are usually fully accepted by Reform, get mixed responses from Conservative, and aren't accepted by Orthodox. Orthodox conversion are accepted by pretty much all groups. This is the main issue related to dating and marrying a convert.



When people ask me my opinion on the subject, I always recommend that they go through an Orthodox conversion if possible, even if they don't plan on living an Orthodox lifestyle. My reason for this is that even if you're not going to be following all the rules of the religion, you should at least have a strong understanding of what those rules are. Also, I know of too many people who've gone through a Reform or Conservative conversion who then went through the process all over again to get an Orthodox one.

Answer 5

answer: You've been misinformed



the only prohibition of a convert to Judaism is marrying a Cohen.



Once someone converts, they are 100% Jewish with the one prohibition against marrying a Cohen in Orthodox Judaism



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don't base anything you believe on the internet, especially when it comes to negative rants about Judaism. I'm sure you've discovered the ridiculous postings by those who hate Jews irrationally and all the misinformation out there.



Jews don't ask if someone is a convert.



Does that mean there aren't jerks in the Jewish community? Of course there are! Just like in any group of people.



Ask, ask and keep asking questions - its encouraged in Judaism.

Answer 6

It's because of this whole crazy belief about being "God's chosen."

Answer 7

i agree @desiree