Of course he is love. That is why he sent his Son to pay for all
of the sins you have and ever will commit. If he wasn't merciful,
you wouldn't be here now.
If he were waiting for you to mess up, he wouldn't have to wait
long because people are constantly messing up, but you or the
ones you know haven't been tossed in a burning torment have you? He isn't looking for anyone to mess up but to fess up.
All he wants everyone to do is confess with their mouth the
Lord Jesus as the one that has already died for their sins and
believe in their heart that God has raised him from the dead, so
he can give them eternal life, joy, peace, and all the things the
Devil doesn't want them to have.
Quit trying to believe the worse about God when all he wants is
the best for you. You do both of you a disservice.