Question:
do you care for the elderly ? what do u do 4 them?
Dr M. Riad
2008-01-04 14:45:41 UTC
Praise be to Allaah.

Islam is the religion of compassion and justice, a religion that teaches perfect morals and forbids bad conduct, a religion that grants man his dignity, if he adheres to the laws of Allaah.

There can be no doubt that Islam has given the elderly a special status, as there are texts which urge Muslims to respect and honour them.

Care of the elderly in Islam is based on a number of focal points, including the following:

1 – Man is an honoured creature and has an honourable status in Islam.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And indeed We have honoured the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with At-Tayyibaat (lawful good things), and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preferment”

[al-Isra’ 17:70]

So the elderly, as sons of Adam, are included in this high status, based on the general meaning of this verse.

2 – Muslim society is the society of mutual compassion and coherence

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah. And those who are with him are severe against disbelievers, and merciful among themselves”

[al-Fath 48:29]

And Allaah says, describing the believers (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then he became one of those who believed (in the Islamic Monotheism) and recommended one another to perseverance and patience, and (also) recommended one another to pity and compassion.

They are those on the Right Hand (i.e. the dwellers of Paradise)”

[al-Balad 90:17-18]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described the believers as being like a single body. He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The likeness of the believers in their mutual love, mercy and compassion is that of the body; if one part of it complains, the rest of the body joins it in staying awake and suffering fever.” Narrated by Muslim, 2586.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 13.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Most Merciful has mercy on those who are merciful. Be merciful to those who are on earth so that the One Who is in heaven will have mercy on you.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1924); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1569.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The relationship of the believer to the people of faith is like that of the head to the body; the believer is pained by the suffering of the people of faith just as the body is pained by the suffering of the head.” Narrated by Ahmad, 32370); narrated by al-Albaani in al-Saheehah, 1137.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Man is doomed and a loser if Allaah does not put compassion for mankind in his heart.” Al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (456): its isnaad is hasan.

3 – The Muslim society is a society of cooperation and mutual support

Ibn Abi’l-Dunya narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of people to Allaah is the one who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds to Allaah is making a Muslim happy, or relieving him of hardship, or paying off his debt, or warding off hunger from him. For me to go with my Muslim brother to meet his need is dearer to me than observing i’tikaaf in this mosque – meaning the mosque of Madeenah – for a month… whoever goes with his Muslim brother to meet his need, Allaah will make him stand firm on the Day when all feet will slip.” Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 2623.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever relieves a Muslim of one of the hardships of this world, Allaah will relieve him of one of the hardships of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever helps one who is financial difficulty, Allaah will help in this world and in the Hereafter, and whoever conceals a Muslim’s (fault), Allaah will conceal his (fault) in this world and in the Hereafter. Allaah will help a person so long as he helps his brother.” Narrated by Muslim, 2699.

4 – The elderly person has a high status before Allaah if he adheres to the laws of Allaah.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one of you should wish for death or pray for it before it comes to him, for when one of you dies, his good deeds come to an end, and nothing increases a believer’s lifespan but good.” Narrated by Muslim, 2682.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shall I not tell you who is the best of you? The best of you is the one who lives the longest life, if he is righteous and does good deeds.” al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (2498): it is hasan li ghayrihi.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who live the longest and do the best deeds.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3263.

And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one is better before Allaah than a believer who lives a long life in Islam because of his saying Subhaan-Allaah (tasbeeh), Allaahu akbar (takbeer) and Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah (tahleel).” Narrated by Ahmad, 1404. al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (654): its isnaad is hasan.

Al-Tirmidhi narrated (2329) that a Bedouin said: “O Messenger of Allaah, who is the best of people?” He said, “The one who lives a long life and does good deeds.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1899.

5 – Respecting the elderly and honouring them are characteristics of the Muslim society

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Part of glorifying Allaah is honouring the grey-haired Muslim.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4843; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4053.

An old man came wanting to see the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and the people did not make way for him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect our old ones.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1919; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1565.

6 – Ways in which the Muslim society takes care of the elderly

(i) Enjoining good treatment of parents:

This is one of the ways in which the elderly are cared for in Islam, because parents are usually elderly. The command to honour one’s parents is accompanied with the command to believe in Allaah alone (Tawheed) and the prohibition on associating others with Him (shirk) in many verses, for example Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents…”

[al-Nisa’ 4:36]

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”

[al-Isra’ 17:23]

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: I asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Which deed is most beloved to Allaah?” He said, “Prayer offered on time.” He said, “Then what?” He said, “Then honouring one’s parents.” He said, “Then what?” He said, “Jihad for the sake of Allaah.” He told me that if I wanted to ask him more, he would tell me more.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 527.

(ii) Enjoining honouring one’s parents’ friends even after the parents have passed away, and regarding that as part of honouring one’s parents.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Part of honouring (one’s parents) is to keep in touch with your father’s friend.” Al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (23030): it is saheeh when all its isnaads are taken into consideration.

Muslim (2552) narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar that a man from among the Bedouin met him on the road to Makkah. ‘Abd-Allaah greeted him with salaam, made him ride on the donkey that he was riding and gave him the turban that he had been wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said: We said to him, May Allaah guide you, they are just Bedouin and they are content with something simple. ‘Abd-Allaah said: The father of this man was a close friend of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab and I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, “The best way of honouring one’s parents is for the son to keep in touch with his father’s friends.”

Some of the salaf even used to travel in order to keep in touch with their father’s friends. Ahmad (26998) narrated that Yoosuf ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Salaam said: I came to Abu’l-Darda’ when he was sick with the illness that would be his last, and he said to me, “O son of my brother, what has brought you to this land?” or “what has brought you?” He said: I said, “Nothing except to maintain the tie (of friendship) that existed between you and my father ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Salaam.”

This is one of the forms of elder care in Islam. When the members of the Muslim society visit the friends of their fathers they help to include the elderly in society and put an end to the isolation they feel, which in turn reduces impact of the social and psychological changes that the elderly go through.

This is unlike what happens in non-Muslim societies. From time to time we hear news of what happens to some of the elderly there, and the extent of the isolation in which they are living.

There was an old man who was left dead in his apartment for four years, and his body was only discovered by accident. Al-Jazeerah newspaper, issue no. 7751, 7/1414 AH.

In a report from the Ministry of Families, Youth and Seniors in Germany in 1993 CE, it says that there are 440,000 elderly people who are subjected to physical and mental abuse at the hands of their relatives and family members at least once each year.

There was an old paralyzed woman who died of starvation in her apartment because her son had cut off her water, electricity and gas, until the neighbours found out what was happening… but after it was too late.

And an elderly man died in his flat in London; he had five children but not one of them knew of his death until six months later.

There was an old woman in Germany whose house had a garden which was very beautiful. She took care of it all year round for the sake of only one day each year when her children came to visit her, because she loved them so much but they ignored her. She prepared the garden for them one day and made delicious food for them, then she was shocked when they made excuses and did not come. She wept a great deal and nearly cried herself to death.

In one of the upper-class areas of Tokyo an elderly man was discovered in his apartment one and a half years after he died. And an old lady was found who had died of starvation in her apartment.

Even stranger than that is the elderly man who was over ninety years old, and no one knew that he had died for five days after his death. What is so strange is that he died in a seniors’ home in the city of Sabor on the island of Hokkaido, and none of the workers in the home realized that he had died until some of his relatives came to visit him and they found out what had happened.

Praise be to Allaah for the blessing of Islam.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Eleven answers:
javadic
2008-01-04 14:52:56 UTC
The news articles you sited are heart-breaking. The way the elderly are ignored and abused in Western society is inexcusable, and by no means is it Christian. I am so glad to here there are places in the world which still practice love and respect towards those who laid the foundation upon which our lives flourish (or not) which is in accordance with the Law of the One True God in all those religions which honor Him. Peace.
FROG E
2008-01-05 06:02:05 UTC
I am a christian. The 10 commandments tells us to honor our mother & father. Of course, there are other commandments in the bible. God tells us the greatest is love. God doesn't just give love, He is love.



Unfortunatly, in this country, many americans do not show the elderly love or respect. You can see this by the way they are (warehoused) in nursing homes. Elder abuse is on the rise in this country. It is shameful.



I do what I can for the elderly. Sometimes they just want company and not to be forgotten. They hold a lot of wisdom and experience.



You ask an interesting and serious question. I hope it stirs up some thoughts among the readers.
?
2016-10-22 02:36:47 UTC
you do not tutor dignity. You tutor pride in that an elderly human being (inspite of meaning?) advantages the right to maintain a particular quantity of dignity. What you should tutor is appreciate. as an get jointly: the training of calling elderly human beings in health center by their first names is demeaning, till they noticeably say, 'only use my first call, love.'
ghostwolf
2008-01-04 14:59:42 UTC
I take care of and support my grandparents, that would be more of a familial obligation though. I volunteer at the alzheimer's day home, I deliver food and groceries to shut ins and I pay at least one month of utilities for someone who is elderly. There is an organization in my town where you can take the money to them and they will pay the utilities for an elderly person in our community who is having to decide between heat and medication.
Barry F
2008-01-04 15:03:28 UTC
You have quoted some cases that our society finds terrible, too.



Most of our elderly are taken care of properly, but of course there are times when families get lazy and some even get mean.



My grandmother just turned 100 years old, and she still lives by herself in an apartment. We did convince her to at least move to a building where help is there if she needs it. On her birthday in November, Granny was up at 10 p.m. making grilled cheese sandwiches for all of her relatives that were coming in for her party. That is what makes her happy, so we let her continue to be the hostess she wants to be, but we all pitch in and make sure she has groceries, and other necessities.



In my church, I am a worker for the "Golden Wisdom" ministry, which is what our senior citizens have chosen as their ministry name.



I work to keep their spirits up, and give them ways to continue to serve the Lord, despite the infirmities of age.



I have a lady who is 87 years old in a wheelchair who is our greeter. She sits near the door every Sunday and gives out church bulletins, and greets everyone with a hug, a kiss, or a handshake. She loves her job for the church.



Some of our Golden Wisdom members teach bible classes, help in the nursery, help in the kitchen, write notes and cards of encouragement, make phone calls to folks who are out ill, and all sorts of things like that. Of course, they are part of our "Intensive Prayer Unit" too.



Keeping the feeling of being useful and needed is an important part of life for our elderly.



We also have a group of not-so-elderly called the Bridge Gappers. This group consists of folks younger than 60 years of age. Our mission is to love and assist the elderly. We give rides, help with cooking and cleaning, and whatever our elderly brothers and sisters need us to do.



This is the Christian concept of "loving others as you love yourself" in action.
Aravah
2008-01-04 14:53:51 UTC
I care for my disabled mother to the point of having no outside life of my own. Family is VERY important in my religion.



This is not a question, it's an excuse to preach and attempt to convert. That is dishonorable. One verse abut caring for the elderly from your religion would have been sufficient. You discredit your religion with the C&P.
2008-01-04 14:48:53 UTC
I help the elderly, if it's really cold out I will go to the store for a group of them.
*
2008-01-04 14:49:18 UTC
...okay.



I do care for the elderly.

When I see them around town carrying bags or struggling with something, I help them.
2008-01-04 14:56:47 UTC
You claim islam is a religion that forbids bad conduct?

How do you explain false prophet muhammad and his extremely bad conduct? he started wars, robbed caravans, took slave women and raped them.
Reptilia
2008-01-04 14:48:20 UTC
As much as I do for any other random person.
2008-01-04 14:51:47 UTC
I don't run over them when I drive.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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