Hinduism - Will Pitrus accept srardha/Devasam/Padayal done by their sons in memory of them when the same sons?

Question

Hinduism - Will Pitrus accept srardha/Devasam/Padayal done by their sons in memory of them when the same sons?

Answer 1

Though i have personally performed such rituals...i dont believe so much in it. Taking care of elders when they are alive is most important. No point going to a Devi temple and doing poojas and offering if the Devi's at home ... mother, wife, sister, daughter is unhappy because of you. No point doing a pitr pooja if elders at home were unhappy..during their last days..



Rituals simply boost ones ego. Its like 'If i dont care about elders...its ok...after they are gone...i will do some rituals and their souls will be happy. Thinking about it...even the person who performs the ritual is happy'. It doesn't help...one has to be realistic.



Shastras say a lot about rituals. What is not experienced...must be left to one imagination...till it is experienced. One distant uncle...who is an orthodox ritualist once told me that...its because...of me ignoring rituals that many unfortunate things are happening to me...I said there is nothing unfortunate...one year back...his wife expired in a freak accident at home...his son in a bike accident...and 6 months back his daughter lost her mind...Now what do i tell him...



Can rituals change fate and destiny? What is the need for pitr to accept what you give? How will a formless soul accept such offerings?

Answer 2

Yes...the ritual is to be accepted.



Do you know how much a baby cries when left to Baby sittings ?

No one cares a baby crying ...Mother...mother....weeping whole day.

Sad tender hearts learns to keep people away while they are a nuisance.



Leaving parent to Old Age Home is a Karma.

Answer 3

nithya and naimithika karma can never be given up by anyone including saranagathan as per the Isavasyaopanishad. These two karmas are done for their own benefit and not for pitrus. So the question of pitrus accepting or not does not arise. This cannot be understood looking from a superficial level at the sastras.



Looking after parents is very important rather more important than shrardam. But the two are not linked to each other. Some may perform the first alone and some may perform the second alone and some may perform both and some others may not fulfill both. However the result is commensurate with the performance. God is there to take of it. then why do you worry?

Answer 4

Home for aged has come recently. it is the fault of the parents who does not show full attention on their children while they grow. The another fault of the parents are not teaching our traditions and cultures. A mother jee jee bhai teaches her son about hindu purans, epics and thus make her son a hero, who later founded a hindu samrajya. Every mother and father should learn from Chatrapati Shivaji's mother how to grow children. Here now a days, every hindu family fails. Later they reap what they sow.



Every son has a right to do karma. Every son should do karma. A man in a jail died. The son is doing every ritual to him. A mother in a home for aged. He has full rights to do karmas. Many sons enjoys the properties of their parents even though the father or mother are in the homes for aged. while they enjoy it is their duty to do rituals.



Shashtras never deny rituals. Shashtras impose rules to do karmas. Shashtras teaches life. Following or not following rests with the people. A life matter should not be attached with shashtras.Shashtras differs with sampradayas. Whether a son keeping his parents happy or sad is not matter since it is their own life problem, situations, circumstances, or compulsions or the parents themselves reasons forcing sons to act etc.,but a son is having duty to do karmas. If not caring parents a sin of 10 percent, if no rituals done it is 100 percent sin. Then he will get ancestors curse.



It is not correct to think whether pitrus accept the benefits of karmas. That is not the earth or life problem. They accept or deny, that is not the matter, but one should do karmas for their ancestors and that is the shashtras say.



======

Trisha

=======

Answer 5

Though Flute's answer seems logical, I agree with Praveen Kumar's views.A departed person's soul (which is the basic postulate of doctrine of re-birth and salation as the end-goal), is not ascribed to be in the same human form with human frailties as in this world. The astral body is devoid of such frailties including begrudging nature. So, any ritual of obsequies will have their effect, if performed with "shraddha". Performance of such rituals is considered as obligation on the lineal descendants and refraining from doing so for any reason will not get endorsement from the Divine,also. See" Devaa avantu, shobhaayai pitaraH anumadantu" the last mantra of the 'chamaka prasna'.

Not taking care of parents during their lifetime is definitely swerving from the path of dharma but non-performance of post-demise rituals is considered a sin. A 'patita'=fallen person can exculpate himself by remorse but a deliberate forsaker of obligation can not gain absolution.

Answer 6

YES is the answer for your question . hinduism says that , when peron realized his mistakes , he is no more treated as sinner . there are many examples regarding that . so when son realizes his fault and repent for that , and have done proper rituals after that means , surely all their sins are dissolved and even their parents bless them . no parents wants their childerens to suffer , either in alive or after death .. so they surely accept their sons rituals .. .



As far as my little knowledge in sprituality , god's wish is that everyone should be free from sin . since we are all childerens of him . he doesnt expect any big things from humans , since he is a god he knows that this a kali yuga and there will be decline in righteous . if it was other than kali yuga then your point is valid , but since it is kali yuga rules are not strict . though its true that it is a sin if a son doesnt treat their parents well when they alive , but with willing or without willing , at the moment they done proper rituals means respected souls get peace and their bad deeds will vanishes .



You are talking on sentiment perspective and im talking only on spiritual basis . so as soon as a soul departed from body , his connection with material world goes , and it only needs some rituals to be perform in order to get liberation . and for a son it is his duty to do that . if he done that means then what else left between both ... even if one does rituals only for a sake of vedas , he gets full benefits .



But if you refer to siddhars views , they say that doing rituals to departed souls is totally waste and its no use for the doers . they say that instead of doing rituals , one must do " om nama sivaya " chanting on every amavasya days is enough , in order to get liberation ...

Answer 7

Shraddha literally means that which is done with all faith, devotion and sincerity. That is why it is classified as a yagya. An action will be qualified to be called as yagya only if has been prescribed by Vedas and is carried out in all faith. Such a yagya will certainly bear fruit is what Vedas say.



Shraddha is a Naimiththika karma, meaning, it is obligatorily done on particular occasions. It also gets classified as Pitru yagyam. Looking after the parents during their life time is also a yagya within the same classification and it is the first part of yagya towards the parents.



The reason for prescription of yagyas is for purification of mind, which qualifies a person as eligible to progress into higher strata of pursuit of knowledge towards permanent liberation from the mundane world of endless birth and death cycles.



With the above in the background, if we look at the question, "what is the use of feeling after her death when he does not cared her while she was alive?"



It is clear that a person who has not taken care of the parents when they are alive already lacks faith and devotion and has not performed the first part of the yagya. Therefore, even if he attempts the second part of Pitr yagya, viz., it will have two defects- (1) lack of Shraddha or faith, devotion and sincerity and (2) incomplete without the first part. Therefore, the performance will not fetch him the results.



(I am not talking about a person who performs the Shraddha after realising his folly of not taking care of the parents and regretting for that and therefore performs at least the second part vlz., performance of Shraddha).



The next question that arises naturally whether the pitrus accept their son's rituals:



As regards the receipt of oblations, it is obviously symbolic and there is no expectation from the late parents that their children should offer them oblations. Moreover, the pitrs might have taken either rebirth or liberated. But the doer does not know what happened to them and he has to perform them. Why? That is the System that is in existence and one have to have faith in a System is what the elders say.



These karmas, as already stated, are for creation of a bent of mind towards gratitude and love and thus for conditioning and purification of mind, which is otherwise erratic. By nurturing gratitude to the parents who sacrificed their life for the welfare of the children, the mind will keep it in memory and the tradition will pass on to generations.



@@ Additional details:



Any details available in vedic dharma (I am avoiding the word hindu as I don't accept such a name which has not been spelt out so by Shastras) shashtras about this? or what shashtras say om this?



Yes the Shastras prescribe the performance of Shraddha undoubtedly. This is one of the pitr yagyas falling within the category of Naimiththika karma and has to be performed. Even Lord Krishna has said in Chapter XVII of Bhagavatgeeta, that there is no point in doing a karma in accordance with what Shastras have prescribed as niyata karma. The objective is already explained.

Answer 8

You might have neglected your parents in their life time but doing karmas after their death is a must since it is considered that the journey of their soul towards dharma raja's place starts from the second day you lit the pyre. On the last day, you do "eka-homam" which signifies that their soul join other forefathers.



As far as my knowledge goes, once the soul leaves the body, it is a mere atma and there is no connection for it with the relations. The pitru karya we do by chanting their names has no connection with the body and only with the atma.

Moreover in these pitru karya, our forefathers also to be jointed like grand father, great grand great great grand father etc.

Please note the 11th day ceremony. We make four pindas and

the pinda of great great grand father is being merged with the three other pindas (great grand father,grand father and father).

This is my submission. I may be corrected if I am wrong.

Answer 9

what

Answer 10

1) Parents Care:



Taittiriya Upanishad (I-xi-2):



'.... मातृदेवो भव । पितृदेवो भव । ......' (तैत्तिरीय उपनिषद्, शिक्षावल्ली, अनुवाक ११, मंत्र २)



'Matru devo bhava, (revere your mother as God)

Pitru devo bhava( revere your father as God)'



Manu Smiriti 5.149:



She must not seek to separate herself from her father, husband, or sons; by leaving them she would make both (her own and her husband's) families contemptible.



ஔவையார், ஆத்திசூடி:



'தந்தை தாய் பேண்' (20)



India passed law to punish children who abandon elderly parents!



2) Pitrus do accept srardha:



Pitrus accept srardha even the parents while as human were deserted by their wards.



i) If parents (‘father and/or mother’) are not taken care by wards they incur sin because they neglected their duty. If Pitrus do not accept the offered srardha by their ward it is a sin because they are in a very high plane so that human error done earlier could be pardoned.



One unit of Manes (Pitrus) Bliss = 100 Divine Gandharvas Bliss = Human Bliss X 10 power 6



https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20110405104017AAlFmtT



3) Advandages of doing annual sradha:



We can pay homage to our ancestors once in a year and remember them. We have not descended straight from Heaven.



If they are not remembered, one may forget the mortal aspect. Once a lady approached Lord Buddha and requested with a prayer to revive her dead child. Lord Buddha asked her to get sesame from a family where no death occurred. The lady understood the mortal nature of this world.



Also by knowing this mortality aspect one should do good thing to all and need not postpone the good deeds infinitely.



.

Answer 11

The dead ones will never accept the rituals. This is true though they were taken care during life or not. Children should look after their old parents as a virtue, love and duty. It is not for getting benefit in the other(?) world. Even if the children looked after their parents, their offers after death will not be useful. Why I am telling this is explained below.

Suppose I am offering something sitting in the down floor of my home to my living father sitting in the top floor. He will never get it. Then how it is possible when my father is dead and converted into ashes?

Answer 12

Shashtras says that each and every dead person is alive in the form of souls, roaming around this universe.



But Devasam is not something done in belief of Karma and Shashtras, It is purely done in the fear of dead people's affecting them for not looking after them when they are alive.

Answer 13

Devasam or padayal is a stereo type behavior.

The departed soul might have taken rebirth.

What is the fun in offering them food!



The soul is ever existing, ever conscious and ever-new bliss

It will not come down from astral planes

to eat the vadai & payasam offered by his kith & kin

Answer 14

If you ask my answer then my answer is only God knows because as Buzzbe said this type of parents suffer because of their karma.



I feel most of the parents are properly cared by their children in India at home only few are ill treated .



But i feel in future one has to think about old age home seriously as most of the parent have only one child and sometime because of job (like army or any other ) it becomes difficult to look after their parents .

Answer 15

Now a days sons do not care much about their parents and try to avoid them in financial commitment.Parents of course feel it but,because of maturity &parental affection do not mind it seriously.But their deported soul may be satisfied and may accept the offerings in the form of Padayal etc.

Answer 16

No, they will never accept if they have been neglected during life time. Are the people do rituals for robbing the public image?

Answer 17

Although I wont admit it in front of my mother .In heart of heart I love her like anything ! I dont know how to repay her ever in my life ! she tells me at times as to how my twin bro and me used to double trouble around the house and since my dad used to work over time she really struggled a lot .We used to live in a small single bedroom terrace room in those times and my mom used to be worried because our home was in the terrace and as an innocent child i could just slip over the parapet ..she used to fan me with "visiri "(in Tamizh..i dont know what its called in english ..hand fan perhaps ???)when the current went off and read bed time stories to me so that i fall asleep fast .She used to listen to my cries of hunger and feed me lovingly !



All I can say is that my mother has done her duty well now its my time to do a duty as son and make her happy :) I dont even have the thought of old age home ..i want to take care of my parents forever and ever so that they are ever happy ever satisfied !..I dont know what to say about ur friend ..its very wrong to desert aging parents ! as if they would ever desert you for anything ??? ..no way !

I think they'll give up anything for the child ! but the child cannot give up something to take care of parents ! this is all western style



that day i was listening to swami chinmayananda's speech on chapter 1 of the bhagavath gita ..in that arjuna says "eternal family traditions will perish " ..something like that right ? ..swamiji talks about how the western world has become all micro family where everyone cares only about themselves ! it promotes selfishness !!!! like anything thats what ur frnd is doing very selfish of them !

In olden days of india there used to be huge families and even today u see lower middle class homes one member earns and the whole family depends on it ! the motivation of work itself lies in service to the family hence selfishness has no place here ! :)



I remember in Garuda purana that the rice offering that is made during shardham is given to the dead person as they are lead to the Dhrama Raja for justice ! This along with the water offered is the only source of food for the persons journey to dhrama raja's kingdom





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60QCxJ9kWnI&feature=related

Answer 18

Since there are so many elaborate and excellent answers there, I just gained some knowledge over the matter.