You must realize that you will NOT get everything you want out of life--perhaps wanting everything out of life is what landed you in prison in the first place, and I dont say that to offend you..
Deary, life is a struggle. NO ONE gets everything that they want. Dont you know that even the richest, most beautiful people on earth still dont have All that they want? Thats life..
You must Strive for the things you want the right way, and appreciate the blessings that you do have. The way I see it--as long as you have breath in your body, food to eat, a safe and warm place to sleep, and your health is good--you're doing better than 70% of other people in the world. There's a song that says:
Though you may not have-
a great big Cadillac...
with "gangter white walls", and a TV in the back.
You may not have-
a car at all.
But remember Brothers and Sisters-
you can STILL Stand Tall.
Just Be Thankful-
for what you GOT.