You better read the "sweetest story ever told" before you go on so many tangents!
You probably heard the name of "SLAUGHTER HOUSE RELIGION" given to Christianity. ALL Christians need to snack God the Son Jesus Christ in some way as part of the “salvation” package. Jesus talked about the fetish of eating his meat and drinking his blood to go to Heaven when you die! It has nothing to do with “sins”… It has to do with eating Mystical flesh!
John 6:53 (KJV) Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you (DUCK!), Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.
It takes years of Christian schooling to learn how to serve the Holy Communion just right, or Christians can get real sick and die! Protestants have relaxed this warning, but Catholics still believe that the Host* (*wafer) and Wine is magically transformed into the ACTUAL spit flavored Meat and sweaty Blood of Jesus shed at Gethsemane, or was it at Calvary? In some parishes extraordinary measures are taken after Mass to monitor that no trace of the body of Jesus Christ is found in any spent chewing gum stuck under the Church pews, or anywhere else!
1 Corinthians 1:29-30 (KJV) For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many SLEEP* (*have died. More Mafia talk! Low IQ Christians who are sick are screwing up the Holy Communion, or how else can they get sick and die? Spiritually speaking, of course!).
The Christian writers of the NT were delighted to declare that in fulfillment of Bible prophecies Jesus Christ’s flesh was beaten to a pulp, thoroughly tenderized, and heavily marinated in Roman soldiers’ spit, as the “spotless Lamb of God taking away the sins of the world” while hanging totally naked nailed to a Holy Cross.
Job 17:6 (NIV) God has made me* (*Jesus) a byword to everyone* (*that is when “God the Father laid on HIM the iniquity of us all”), A MAN IN WHOSE FACE PEOPLE SPIT* (*this is about the most paramount prophecy about Jesus Christ! Preachers play cool on this one for obvious reasons!).
Many years after Jesus died, the Christian NT Bible writers run amok. coming up with events in the alleged life of God the Son Jesus Christ that fulfill Bible “prophecies,” and this is one of them! It is kinda poopy, spiritually speaking, of course, but there is hardly any other “prophecy” in the Bible that the NT writers made fit more precisely than this one, from the Book of Job!
Matthew 26:67 (NIV) Then they SPIT IN HIS FACE and struck him with their fists. Others slapped him.
Matthew 27:30 (NIV) They SPIT ON HIM, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again.
Mark 14:65 (NIV) Then some began to SPIT AT HIM; they blindfolded him, struck him with their fists, and said, "Prophesy!" And the guards took him and beat him.
Mark 15:19a (NIV) Again and again, they struck him on the head with a staff and SPIT ON HIM.
That’s almost a gallon of Goy spit, not Jewish, but Gentile spit! The Christians go wild preaching that the Jews rejected Jesus Christ, but the ultimate form of the most humiliating spitting rejection ever put together comes from the Romans, not from the Jews! There is no record that the Jews paid the Romans to spit on Jesus’ face, either! The Gospel writers imply that there was something very repulsive about Jesus’ personality that invited a lot of Roman spit! No Holy Roman authority EVER apologized to the Jews on behalf of the Roman soldiers who were spitting on Jesus’ face, and for having nailed him on a Holy ROMAN Cross. Jesus was not just any Jew! JESUS WAS THE KING OF THE JEWS… for Christ’s sake!!! The Roman Catholic Christians were ruling Europe for many centuries, and they still rule the “souls” of millions of proud Roman Catholics throughout the world. THEY ALWAYS BLAMED THE JEWS FOR KILLING JESUS! I am telling you like it is! The Jews are so traumatized about the whole issue that they won’t touch Jesus or the whole Christian religion for that matter not even with a 10 foot pole, except for those who are making a living out of it!
There is no historical record that the Roman soldiers ever let their victims take a shower after a heavy dose of spitting. In reality, the Roman soldiers were not known to chew tobacco, or to spit in hate at anybody! The Bible writers had to show that this prophecy about “spitting on his face” was virtually fulfilled! There is no record that the Roman soldiers dressed any of their victim’s genital area in a white diaper before nailing them to any cross no matter how holy! There is no record that the Romans crucified anybody in Jerusalem, either. The Romans were much better known to IMPALE their victims driving a thick pole into the victim’s rectum and forcing them to stand on it until the pole would eventually pierce the heart or lung killing them by their own body weight! The thicker the pole, the longer it took for the victim to die! The Roman soldiers had plenty of fun that way! Jesus hardly suffered a sissy man’s death hanging his full body weight so gently from a nail in each hand. The nails can’t possibly hold anybody hanging in there for any length of time! Christians are brainwashed to believe that crucifixion is the most tormenting death ever invented! Not so! Impalement would have been a real pain in Jesus’ anal cavity and still fulfill Bible prophecy about “hanging on a tree!” If Jesus were to have a pole jammed up into his anus his eyes would be popping out of their orbit, and he would be screaming profanities like crazy to his Daddy God up in the sky who was watching complacently the full sacrifice of his ONLY BEGOTTEN SON so he can be pleased to forgive the “sin” of the world! However, according to the Bible writers, Jesus Christ was able to conduct a long painless conversation with his peers nailed to the other crosses, and with some of the guests at the crucifixion site, and with the Roman soldiers that crucified him, all in “Yiddish,” or what have you, although the conscripted Roman foot soldiers spoke only Latin (Luke 23:38)! Well informed, non-religious people know that the whole “crucifixion” story is a hoax of historical proportions (Acts 25:19). Moreover, it is very funny that the disoriented Christians expect to reign along with this same full of spit Jesus as KING OF THE JEWS anywhere from 1,000 years or for ever after the 2nd coming of Jesus. If he really would like to be a king because he already recanted before (John 18:36)! Can you imagine Jesus in your mind with his face full of spit and his penis exposed while hanging totally naked nailed to the Holy Cross? That is the way it is in the Bible!
Throughout the Bible, the Bible writers were very much in the spitting fetish…
Revelation 3:16 (NIV) (Jesus said) So, because you* (*good Christians, but in the wrong Church!) are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to SPIT YOU OUT of my mouth* (*like spent chewing tobacco of a “good shepherd giving his life for the sheep!” Jesus and any intelligent person know that only STUPID shepherds would do that, but what the heck!).
About 500 years ago, the Protestants wised up and removed the hanging corpse of Jesus Christ from the Holy Cross. Now, only Catholics still display a dead body nailed to a cross. Christianity is a very primitive religion. Most people in America are unable to function without it! I believe that there are some serious flaws in Christianity that need to be addressed. I am fully aware that my answers upset a lot of professional preachers, and perhaps some members of the Clergy, but they know that Christianity is not going to collapse overnight. They do have a secure source of income for years to come!