***It made me feel more powerful. Kind of like G-d was with me and I had the power to be able to get through it. But sometime when I was asleep during the surgery, I had a weird dream consisting of the jewish Population getting mad at me for wearing a jewish star and not being Jewish.***
Wow! There is a great deal of theology and implications in these words
1. If you are thinking about the G-d of the scriptures, that was one type of Judaism. This G-d of Israel can be described as Ps 27
***1 A Psalm of David. HaShem is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? HaShem is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2
When evil-doers came upon me to eat up my flesh, even mine adversaries and my foes, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war should rise up against me, even then will I be confident. 4 One thing have I asked of HaShem, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of HaShem all the days of my life, to behold the graciousness of HaShem, and to visit early in His temple. 5 For He concealeth me in His pavilion in the day of evil; He hideth me in the covert of His tent; He lifteth me up upon a rock. 6 And now shall my head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me; and I will offer in His tabernacle sacrifices with trumpet-sound; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto HaShem. http://www.hareidi.org/bible/Psalms27.htm#1
If this is the G-d you are thinking of, then understand that things have changed due to the history that has taken place since David was king. By contrast to king David, today's non-Messianic Jews spend more time today talking about:
1. Destruction of Jerusalem and Herod's Temple
2. The Spanish Inquisition and
3. The Holocaust.
As you know, David prophesied by the Holy Spirit, third person of the Trinity. In contrast, non-Messianic Jews don't believe Holy Spirit speaks to Jews today....as if the Creator of the Universe who made our brains, mouths and ears refuses to tell us why He made us personally.
Again, this is in contrast to King David who wrote Ps 139: 7 Whither shall I go from Thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from Thy presence? 8 If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in the nether-world, behold, Thou art there. 9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 10 Even there would Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand would hold me. 11 And if I say: 'Surely the darkness shall envelop me, and the light about me shall be night'; 12
Even the darkness is not too dark for Thee, but the night shineth as the day; the darkness is even as the light. 13 For Thou hast made my reins; Thou hast knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I will give thanks unto Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 15 My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Thine eyes did see mine unformed substance, and in Thy book they were all written--even the days that were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. http://www.hareidi.org/bible/Psalms139.htm#1
So there is a form of Judaism which king David practiced which is full of the power of G-d which listens to the Holy Spirit. However, there are those that believe that the Holy Spirit no longer speaks to His people. The belief that the age of the Prophet has ended is widespread even though a place for Elijah, the prophet, each Passover.
I would not give much thought to drug induced dreams. Nor is there any scriptural reference about anything besides G-d having real power so I would not put too much weight on a star. It is more symbolic than anything else.
Hope this helps
Norah, I know 13 year olds and know the deep thoughts you can have and the anger / isolation many feel. What I have asked you to do is to think like an adult as you are wanting to join this conversation.
Just know that if G-d made you to like ice-cream and hate stewed spinach, you won't get to choose whether you like ice-cream and hate stewed spinach. And as long as you are in G-d's house as a child of G-d, you will need to do as your Father said regardless of what your friends say. G-d, like parents, doesn't let the created / children tell Him / them what is right or wrong. G-d / parents instruct the created / children what is right and wrong.
Power comes from someplace. If you find power in a star, a rock, or image, I would find out where the power was coming from as this idea runs counter to everything Jewish scriptures teaches.