Why is God testing me so hard?

Question

Please read this letter I wrote to myself... I'm so depressed that I'm loosing more than my mind, but my soul.

I Live my life day by day—existing. I feel as if I have a futile purpose in life… I don’t have many friends, and I’m often alone… All of my so-called friends have betrayed me--forsaken me... Vexation is what I currently epitomize. I desire serenity, but it seems as if I’m inevitably trapped in solitude. The irony in my life is that I’m a social person, but yet, I live a life of a recluse. I’m the only child, and have no one to talk to at home. Unlike most students, I enjoy school, because I can actually interact with people. Since I been in college, I been lifting a lot of weights to override the formidable nuisance in my life. There aren’t enough tears in my eyes to shed, to show animosity, sorrow, and loneliness in my soul. I live a tedious reiterate life—wake up; brush teeth & wash face; take lonely shower; catch bus to school; go to class; go home—returning to the inevitable solitude. In a sense, I’m just like my cat—alone. I’m supposed to be this attractive intelligent guy, that’s nice, but yet, I’m alone… I see people everyday with their partners in life, and I cannot even relate to that human feeling; it is a feeling I’m oblivious to. I don’t know what it’s like to be loved by a woman. I only understand infidelity—betrayal. I live a life alone—a belligerent life a perplexity… I’m just waiting to find life, & to elude my abandonment.

Answer 1

I can't believe how much I can relate to you in this situation. I find myself to be almost borderline introvert/sociable. Anyways, I've been feeling this way for the past few years. My friends had left me behind or moved away, I felt unwanted in this world, one of my only close friends left had passed away, and I felt that God was testing my patience everyday. I wanted to escape my normal routines, to escape the lonliness, to discover what He wants to do with my life, to share what I know, and to have someone in my life to enrich the time I have on this earth. I cry when I read your letter, because I can relate so well. I oftened asked myself why I couldn't obtain friendships, purpose, and change. I thought, well geesh, am I not just a waste of human?... I am not unattractive, I am not uneducated, and I do not focus on myself when around others. (Wow, there's so many negatives in that sentence.)



It is very hard at times, but the only one I can run to is God. What actually has eased my depression and lonliness was to take up online courses instead of attending school with others. I've only been doing it this past year and with this isolation, my relationship with Him has strengthened tremendously. Even though I am alone, I am not as lonely anymore. I still long for the presence of someone with me. I feel that I'm ready to go back out there and use what the Lord has taught me this year. For the past two months, I've been living with great anticipation of what's to come soon. I feel like someone is about to step into my life and I can't wait to greet them...

Answer 2

Trust me brother I know exactly what your'e going through. Unfortunately this is not God testing you. You have to realize that this is your life. YOU can change it. Trust me my friend. Join clubs in school. College is the best place to meet diverse intelligent people. I use to literally be the most popular person in my town. Then I moved to NYC and now I am like the wind. It's ok though. Because some people love the wind. Do not worry about being extremely popular just focus on the little things. Get out and meet great people that you can form an everlasting bond with. Also, do not make the same mistake I did. I felt as if I needed a partner to be whole. Then when we broke up I felt incomplete and destroyed. The real trick is to be happy with yourself first. What you experience externally is a reflection of your internal self. Start from the inside. Once you establish your inner self the way you want it all good will come trust me. You do have a purpose. For billions of years your were nonexistant. Now, finally you have awoken! Into the wonderful universe. Embrace every moment because each moment will pass and never come again. Make the best out of the time you have. Once again I cannot stress this enough. COLLEGE!!!! This shows you are on the right path, and have a good mind. You will meet wonderful people there. I came to this country 4 years ago with 5 euros in my pocket and some old nike's. I left all my friends, my family, my loved ones. I was miserable and at many times I still am. But I remember the good times, and think of good times that will come. But the most important thing is I know these good times will not come by themselves. I must make them happen as must you. You don't have to wait to find life you already found it. Now go and enjoy it and make it happen. The world is yours brother!

Answer 3

You know what you need to read what you wrote a few minutes ago...there are people who can't do some of the things you know that "tedious reiterate life" you have some people want that!!!



You complain about being alone but you say you serve God well I do too and He isn't a man that he should lie and he didn't lie when he said you are never alone. You want to be with someone well I'm 18 going on 19 never had a boyfriend and there have been guys that asked me out my answer was no because God will send me mine without a doubt I'm not going to die because I haven't had all those first most girls my age have had...but I've sucked it up stop complaining and I am waiting--waiting on God patiently



How can you wait to find life...I thought you found God well if you really did find God and became a born again baptized Christian...then YOU ALREADY HAVE LIFE



Because God is Life...Believe that dear

Answer 4

You know, a lot of that sounds exactly like my life and I have a great life. I live with my 85 year old father. I've been divorced for 20 years and will most likely never be close to a man. I love getting out with people, but I live in a very rural area and don't have much time after work. Most days are like the others -- get up, work, and come home to Dad and my cat. Everyone tells me I'm very intelligent, attractive, and tons of fun. I have many interests and hobbies, keep in touch with family and friends, have some good laughs every day, and thank God for my good life. I don't make much money, but all my needs are supplied.



It's hard when you are young and you fear that life is passing you by and you'll be alone. There are no promises in life except that God will never leave you. Look on the bright side, praise him for what you do have, and I guarantee you will see more good things come your way.

Answer 5

Okay first of all I know what you mean. I am also a only lonely child.



I lost two of my grandparents within a month of each other. Then about two weeks later got hit by a car when all I was doing was getting the mail. It took a total of two year to heal after that accident.



Within a two after my grandparent my last one passed away for lung cancer. About a month later one of our favorite cats passed away from a tumor.



As for my friends I only have one I can call and talk to right away. I have also had some back stabbers.



I also know how hard it is to see a couple but someday we will find that babe..... I mean girl. I believe that everyone, whether it is deaf, blind short, tall whatever it is, we all have a mate out there.



Anyway you see I believe there is a reason why things happen to us whether it is bad or good. I have confidants that someday things will totally turn around and we won't be so depressed.



See I am thankful for everything I have already because I know alot people have it worst then us. And what I mean is that at least we have the money to be online.



Just try to be happy. I know how hard it is but just be thankful for living and try to appreciate all the small and big things in life you already have.



PS - I don't know about you but everything in this is 100% true.

Answer 6

ONLY if you are REALLY serious....



http://ialm.org/downloads%20audio.html



CS Lewis "The Screwtape Letters":



"Now it may suprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He [God the Father] relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else… It is during the trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that the patient is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best."



Please run & get a copy of GRACE WALK by Steve MeVey… SHORT read & VERY powerful! What a blessing & liberty in my life….

Answer 7

God exams us to look how we will be able to react and reply to it. Jesus suffered the equal temptations as we did and used to be nonetheless with out sin. When we're established, it's not a brick wall, however a door on your advertising. God needs to make use of you and he exams you to get you robust ample to manage what's has deliberate for you. Jesus suffered drastically, however as being God, he might tackle extra matters than we will. God additionally needs to look for those who real love him or no longer. Do no longer be discouraged, many Christians like myself fall quick. All you'll be able to do is select your self up, express regret, and do it once more.

Answer 8

After reading this, I am sure you will begin to have a lot of attention you need.

Everything is about you as me, myself and I.

Being forsaken can be just your feeling. Understand them as having a life of their own, in a shell that they may also want to be by themselves for a while..

Be comfortable with yourself first and try to live in what you think is not right. Take this as your chance to reflect on yourself to know yourself exactly, intently, honestly and consciously for which you may come out ready to be giving love to yourself first before you can give love to others. You cannot give what you do not have.

That is not yet a test from God and claiming to be an intelligent guy guy seem a claim not to be so trusted. Be honest with yourself.

Answer 9

Dearest, I understand that kind of loneliness because I feel it too.



The surest cure for being lonely is to reach out to others. There are so many people out there that need a kind, sensitive person to care about them and listen to them.



Volunteer your time someplace, any place, and I assure you, when you show others the love of Christ, He will give you fulfillment and you will no longer have this desperate aloneness that you feel.



May God shower His love on you.

Answer 10

If you want to know why God tests us so much, you could read Job or James, Chapter One.



But mostly I think you need to stop with the Pity Party. Seriously. Stop.



As we say in AA, "Come down from your cross, bub... we could use the wood!"



Stop and count your blessings, take a minute to thank God for everything you have.



If you want to change your attitude, start with a little gratitude....It works every time!

Answer 11

God is not testing you. Your Soul or "higher self" is showing you where you need to work on yourself. We all have "Earth lessons" to learn, and the opportunities are put in our path on a subconscious level. The Soul knows what it needs to overcome for spiritual growth. How we react to certain experiences determines how that lesson is learned.

Answer 12

(James 1:13) When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.



Is it possible that Jehovah himself tries us with adversity? No, we should not say: “I am being tried by God.” Jehovah is not trying to induce us to commit sin but is sure to help us and give us the strength needed to endure trials if we remain steadfast in faith. (Philippians 4:13) God is holy, so he does not place us in circumstances that would weaken our resistance to wrongdoing. If we get ourselves into an unholy situation and commit some sin, we should not blame him, “for with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.” Though Jehovah may permit a trial to discipline us for our good, he does not try us with evil intent. (Hebrews 12:7-11) Satan may tempt us to do wrong, but God can deliver us from that wicked one.—Matthew 6:13.

Answer 13

God is not "testing" you. These are life's little obstacles that people over come and learn from. this is your purpose. Once you over come it you will see that it is not futile. Get out more. talk to people more. you will find friends and love if you look for it; but don't look too hard. Trust me, if you let it happen, it will.

Answer 14

God is testing you to make you stronger! God testes me everyday and he has given me my trials but ultimitally He is glorified and He will help you get threw every tough time in your life! In the bible it says that God will not give you a load to heavy for you to bear! (that isnt word for word) But God cares for you and God lets bad things happen to His children but you know it will just make you Stronger! I hope everything works out for you! God bless

Answer 15

don't blame a god for your personal troubles.. it sounds like you just got your heart broken and want to die which is a common reaction

Answer 16

how depressing, now write a positive letter to yourself.

Answer 17

A LONELY SHOWER????



What kind are you used to taking?