Question:
Have you seen this Curriculum Vitae?
Cheri
2010-05-05 01:05:19 UTC
Curriculum VitaƩ
Name: JESUS CHRIST
Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone: Romans 10:13
Website: Bible
Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
My name is Jesus - The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my CV because I'm seeking
the top management position in your heart. Feel free to read my details below.
Qualifications I founded the earth and established the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)
I formed man from the dust of the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)
I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)
I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (See Galatians 3:13)
The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me,
(See Galatians 3:14)
Occupational
Background
I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49).
I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)
Skills and
Work Experiences
Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be
poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the
sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See
Luke 4:18).
I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall
dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33). Most importantly, I
have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John
1:7-9)
Educational
Background
I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and
understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6). In me are hidden all of the treasures of
wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).My Word is so powerful; it has
been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See
Psalms 119:105).
I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).
Major
Accomplishments
I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See
Genesis 1:26). I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians
5:15).
I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them
openly, (See Colossians 2:15). I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick
and raised the dead! There are many more major accomplishments, too many
to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www
dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access it.
References Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation,
deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.
Summary Now that you've read My CV, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely
qualified to fill this vital position in your heart.
In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6),
and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47).
When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).
Send this CV to everyone you know, you never know who may have an opening!
Thanks for your help and may God bless you!
Six answers:
anonymous
2010-05-05 01:15:46 UTC
Dear cheri,of course who can be more greater than God-Jesus Christ,but it's not the 'wealth' of information that touches the human heart,but the simplicity,directness,logic and love-in short message should give hope and healing to those in trouble-that is Good news
anonymous
2010-05-05 01:07:57 UTC
Wow. That's a terrible CV. Cluttered, unstructured, not specific, references to another document (pointless in a CV)... no way that dude is going to get a job.



I notice there are no specified referees listed, or formal qualifications from an accepted provider. A management position? Good luck with that.



I bet that phone number doesn't work either, and I'm pretty sure that www.-the BIBLE isn't a real website. Fraudulent information in a CV? Bad idea.
Captain Sarcastic
2010-05-05 01:13:17 UTC
Lying on a CV is bad form and if used in the process of application is grounds for immediate dismissal.
R&S Nihilism (I block morons)
2010-05-05 01:08:29 UTC
And then the person looking at this CV goes looking for EVIDENCE of all these things he says (just as he probably does for EVERYONE'S claims)...



Well, of course he finds no such evidence. Doesn't look like Jesus is getting hired to me.



Oh, well.
Wonderstar
2010-05-05 13:40:24 UTC
A very Good CV!!!
Dances with Unicorns
2010-05-05 01:20:40 UTC
Yeah; it's lame.


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