Christians I need help?

Question

Hi, I have been a Christian for nearly 3 years and I have failed. I need people to pray for me because I don't know what to do. I'll explain.

I have fallen so many times into the sin of pornography and masturbation, and even tempting others to sin. It's like an addiction that I can't seem to break free from. At one time I thought Jesus had set me free, but weeks later I backslid again. I have asked for forgiveness hundreds of times and for help to be set free. But what's worse is that I prayed a silly prayer. I said to Jesus that if I commit the same sin again then let me know that I can never be saved. I told Jesus that I need to know if I can be saved, so I did this test. I basically said to Jesus that if you don't deliver me from these sins then I will know that I can never be saved. Well, it went well for a while, but once again I have backslid. So now I worry that Jesus answered my prayer and told me that I cannot be saved. I don't know what to do. I want to break free but something is holding me back. I don't know what to do. I need help to restore my faith and to know that I can still be saved. I feel that God is too disgusted with me for committing these sins deliberately when the Bible condemns a willful sin.

If I knew that I still had a chance I think I could find the strength to have the victory. I just feel that my repentance is more like wordly repentance. I really do want to change but I feel that a wilfull sin can't be forgiven. I feel I am not worthy and because I have done this hundreds of times I feel that Satan may have won my soul. What should I do. Am I beyond salvation? Please give me your honest advice. God bless.

Answer 1

Firstly, I'd like to commend you for being able to come forward and admit to this. I personally don't believe that you've 'failed' at all at being a Christian, for the Bible has told us that we ARE imperfect. (Rom 3:23) All of us fall short. It is unfortunately, only natural.



Secondly, I'd like to applaud you for trying over and over again to stop. I know the feeling of thinking that it's hopeless, but then giving it another shot. Maybe not in this situation, but hey, feelings are similar.



Thirdly, I'd like to address the issue of you thinking that Jesus answering your prayer. Prayer is a powerful tool in any persons spiritual arsenal. It provides a direct line for you to God to voice your joys, grievances and questions even. Matt 6:8 reminds us that God knows what we need, even before we ask him. However, it is also important to remember James 1:13, that God NEVER tries us with evil things. Rather, 1 Corinthians 10:13 even informs us that God will always give us a way out of temptation.



Now, you might ask, HOW is this? Since you have so sincerely and honestly prayed for assistance. It is all summed up in one word. FAITH. I'm certainly NOT saying that you do not have faith, goodness forbid! Let us first see what Faith in the bible means. I encourage you to open your own bible and read this scripture for yourself from your own translation.



Hebrews 11:1 - Faith, is the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstrations for realities though not beheld.



If I might ask, when you approach God in prayer, do you already believe, for a certainty, that He will answer you? (Heb 11:6)



Your next question might be, how then, can you develop faith like this? Romans 10:17 answers this. Faith follows the things heard. And the thing heard is through the Word. The Bible. That's is your spiritual answer. Earnest study of it is important. However, whats the point of studying when you cannot understand? So you need to be able to understand it. Furthermore, knowledge itself is useless when you are unable to apply it in life. Hence, you need to meditate upon this knowledge and apply it in your life. Here's another direction your prayers can take. Ask God for help to be able to understand His Word.



Ok. That's the spiritual aspect of your question. I'll go on to a practical approach now.



Going back to James 1, this time verse 15, it tells us that the desire, when FERTILE, gives birth to sin. So when you think of the word fertile, most people (me mainly =b) think of soil and growing plants. What are the necessary conditions? Good soil, ample water, lots of sun. These are all CONDITIONS for the plant to flourish and grow. Do you put yourself in conditions that encourage you to masturbate?



Example: Your internet security. Have you tried using a Family firewall? This will disallow any access to 'questionable' sites. Lessening your access to 'material'. Do you have any books or magazines that might cause such desires? Surely you'll be better off without them. What about videos?



Mayhap it is just your testosterone/estrogen level (Sorry, can't tell if you're male or female). There are medications that can help with that. Otherwise, really, EXERCISE can help! Exercise and sex releases the same chemicals in the brain, mainly, endorphins. This chemical, in addition to others like serotonin and dopamine, gives you a feeling of calm, peace and joy.



Maybe you've tried all these before, especially the paragraph before (getting rid of materials). Have you tried talking to a mature Christian friend about it? I know that this, especially this, is very very difficult. But, God made us to have companionship, and indeed, Provervbs 17:17 reminds us that: "A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress." Surround yourself with friends with similar goals as yourself, that is to improve yourself by standards from the Bible.



I do not know what else to say other than this, NEVER give up trying to live your life by God's standards. For when you truly give up, then Satan truly wins.



I sincerly hope you are able to overcome this.

Answer 2

The fact that you feel guilty means that you have not reached the point of the unpardonable sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit...hence, you can still be saved.



The addiction to pornography is like any other sin or addiction that we face and requires serious action in addition to prayer and fasting. You have made the very important step of confessing (though anonymously) this shortcoming. The fact that you have identified that you have this problem is a very important first step to gaining victory. At least you are not self-deceived.



Now how to gain victory? I'll suggest a few practical steps which will help if you apply them. Perhaps i speak a little from experience. Here goes:

1. Stop beating up yourself. You have a problem that needs to be resolved.

2. The same medium that you use to sin can be used to bring victory. Every time you turn on the computer before you are tempted to look at pornography go to you-tube &/or play some GOSPEL music which brings your mind back to God.

3. Keep a post-it note pasted on your computer which reads 'TODAY I OVERCAME TO THE GLORY OF GOD. SATAN IS A LIAR'

4. Keep a record of your victory and failure. You can do this discreetly by drawing a column down the middle of a page. On 1 side place V for victory at the top on the other side write a f for fail. keep track. Analyze every so often.

5. Celebrate V's with something wholesome that you really like. Deter F's by doing something wholesome that you hate to do.

6. Most importantly get to understand your self. Get to understand when you are most vulnerable such as night-time etc (you'd know best) and AVOID THE COMPUTER AT THAT TIME.

7. When you get f's don't get despondent or berate yourself too much. Slip ups will happen. Promise to do better and move on.

8 Pray without ceasing.

9. Understand that that silly prayer was indeed silly. Jesus wants you to change, but He died for you. He's not gonna give up on you just like that,. He really wants you to make Him proud. He also wishes satan did not have to keep accusing you before God.

10. Whenever you get the urge to do either of them go for a walk, take a cold shower or play some lively gospel music.



May God grant you the strength to overcome. May you accept it.



Be blessed.

Answer 3

You will have favor in God when you admit your downfalls and try to better yourself.

No one is perfect and everyone has a cross to bear. Do not feel like you cannot be saved. Sometimes it takes a while to 'get it right' with God. I think you are dwelling too much on your addiction and it's making it worse. Try to find something else in your life that is fulfilling. Pornography is disrespectful and vulgar. Every time you want to view it, think of the women in your life and how much you adore and respect them, you wouldn't ever want them to be in pornography do you? That will at least make you stop and think

If that does not help, I would seek out help from a pastor or trusting friend, research the negative effects pornography can have on a person. You are emotionally abusing yourself.

As far as masturbation goes, try to abstain as much as you can. I can't relate fully since I am a female and don't feel the need for that release as much as you do but I wish you luck on all aspects

Answer 4

There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still.

---Betsey Ten Boom.



You can say anything to God you want. Doesn't mean he's going to do what you want. :D



He knows your heart. Someday you won't even think about this sin it will be so remote. We have a hard time letting go of our flesh (no pun intended). Its all we've ever known, and then the spirit comes alive. We don't know quite how to handle that new found part in our lives. We know we can't ignore it. It won't be ignored! We are like babies trying to drive a Rolls Royce! God knows that. He does. Really. He loves us no matter what. He loves us as we once were, and as we will be. He loves us in our "I am-ness" no matter what. Maybe He's attempting to teach you that. He IS there. You're holding on to something from your past (npi, again), and its eating away at your spirit. Listen to yourself, will you? You just told God what to do about you! Who are you, to tell God what to do!? Stop filling yourself with guilt and emotional distress! It's not good for your spirit. You sound like you are slowly seeping away from the Lord more through the negative feelings about it, than the sin itself is worth!



Relax. Nobody is EVER beyond salvation except Satan. (And he knows it, which really pisses him off.) And still, God loves him, too. He loves all His creation. If not, God would have destroyed Satan the instant he rebelled. Try trusting Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the Cross. At least you KNOW you have a problem. Some don't. Some never will come to Christ because they think they have it all figured out. They are the ones to be pitied.



God says make no provision for the flesh. When I was dating my hunky husband (I know its going to sound corny but this was over 50 years ago), we'd place a bible on each of our laps. Whenever we'd start thinking beyond where we were supposed to, we'd grab our bibles and bury our faces in them, reading to beat the band! The other would back off out of respect. It worked, and, we started a tradition. Reading the bible together. After all these years, we still read together. Instead of grabbing something else, grab that bible. Read aloud at the top of your lungs if you have to, until either the urge passes or you start really getting into what you are reading. Nine times out of ten you'll become engrossed in what you are reading! If all else fails, ask God for that special someone to share your life with. It's biblical!



God never puts anything into our lives, whether blessing or difficulty, without attempting to teach us to trust Him. Relax, and allow His teaching to show through you. He's not going anywhere where you aren't. Pray for His will in your life. He can't help but answer that one!

Answer 5

To answer your question: No, you are not beyond salvation. Jesus will save you. That's it. Jesus loves you, and he doesn't want you to fail.

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Jesus 4:8

Does that verse say Draw nigh to God, and he will to you, only if your sins are really bad? No.

Seek God, pray. Here's a tip: everytime you feel tempted pray and ask God for help and wisdom and strength to say no to sin. God's pretty awesome. He'll help you, I promise :)

Also, an accountability partner helps sometimes? I know you might feel awkward talking to people about these sins, but maybe you can just ask people at church to pray for you? And they can keep asking how you're doing, even if they don't know what's exactly going on in your life.

Answer 6

A messianic Jew is a Jew that believes that Jesus is the Messiah. Christians and Messianic Jews believe that Jesus is the Messiah. They are Jews. The point of view of the anti Messianice Jews is best summed up by Mark JPAS when he said "it is acceptable to blend some degree of foreign spiritual elements with Judaism. The one exception is Christianity, which is perceived to be incompatible with any form of Jewishness. This is the double standard that is applied to Christianity even though Jesus is considered the Jewish Messiah in Christianity. Messianic Jews are looked at with even greater disdain. Why? its a cover for there own deviations from Judaism. Some Jews need to maintain a connection to Jewish family because they have deviated so much from traditional Judaism that many Orthodox question their Jewishness. They need find some way to distract attention because of there deviation from the Torah. This is done by pointing their finger at others to direct attention away from their own actions. You can't give yourself a title and expect that it makes you something. This is the argument that has been used against Jews that decide that Jesus is the Messiah. We are told that the mere belief of a different nature of God immediately invalidated a Jews Jewishness. At the same time Jews that become atheists, pantheists or stop practicing any element of their religion we are told are still Jews. They say that you can believe in anything but Jesus. Jews call conversion "joining the tribe". Things that would never fly in Orthodox or for that matter Messianic Judaism can be found in the Reform and Reconstructionist movements. A good example of this is a previous question asked here. The person asking worshiped the God Ferris but did not believe in him or the Jewish God. The focus of the question was" ...would you PERSONALLY feel comfortable welcoming me not just as a fellow congregant at your Synagogue, but as a member of the Tribe?" (so he was clearly asking about converting to Judaism). The response was "Reform Judaism covers a wide swath of beliefs and practices and I am sure you will be wholly accepted. ... I personally would accept you whole heartily as a fellow Jew." So some Jews will accept all kinds of deviations from the Torah but not belief in "Jesus". Let's not forget the Reform movement wanted to change the sabbath to Sunday to be more like Christianity. Most Messianic Jews are Torah observant yet you can become an atheist, stop practicing their faith, become a Buddhist, join a Unitarian Church and still be a Jew in the eyes of Reform/Reconstructionist Jews. Most Orthodox when asked about other Jews will say they don't know what non Orthodox Jews are. The same applies to the other sects. Speaking of sects Jews will tell you there are no sects but its not true. Rabbinical Jews follow an understanding of their faith that was established 1,900 years ago. They have their own canon of Scripture. There are also non Rabbinical Jews such as the Ethiopian Jews that follows the pattern of the Christian Old Testament and they have many additional books that they consider to be scripture. A group called the Karaites is the opposite of the Ethiopian and only believe in the 5 Books of Moses. Rabbinical Jews call Karaites "a sect of Judaism". You can goggle it and see for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you that there are no sects in Judaism. They say the the teachings of Jesus are very different from Judaism. They also claim that Jesus taught nothing new from the rabbis before him. Then they we tell you that there were no rabbis until a hundred years after the time of Jesus. Its all about winning the argument to them not about what's true. The problem is not differences but similarities. You should know ALL the writers of the Christian Bible were Jews but one. Much of our Scriptures are shared. The vast majority of early believers in Jesus were Jews. So when you hear the exact opposite you need to keep that in mind. A Jew can believe in Jesus and still be a Jew. Edit: those that make personal accusations should include links or shut up.

Answer 7

First off, do a clean sweep of your house and get rid of anything not pleasing to God. You may have to get rid of bad friends. Surround yourself with positive people. Don't go places where you may be tempted. The first few chapters of Proverbs talks about this. These obsessive thoughts are whispered in your ear by Satan. Immediately say, cancel, cancel and replace these bad thoughts with positive ones. Satan doesn't want you to follow God. He's the one who's telling you that you may not be saved. Rev 12:10 says that he's the accuser of the brethren before God night and day. The Holy Spirit will gently lead you to do the right thing. He will never accuse us. He wants only the best for us. God loves you so much that he sent Jesus to die for you. Remember that. In God's eyes, you're somebody.

Answer 8

No you are not beyond salvation! You still have a chance to do things right. I know - a lot- of people have this issue and I can sincerely say that having Faith in God to help you is what's going to make him show you that he will help you. Faith comes first. When you first even see anything that turns you on, close your eyes tell evil to leave you alone in the name of Jesus Christ- Call upon God to give you strength to get through it and the more and more you do this- the easier and easier it gets.



Look into getting married as well. Better to marry than to burn with lust.

Answer 9

When you first accepted Jesus as your Savior, you were "Sealed with the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption." All your sins being past, present, and future were all forgiven back then. There is no such thing as a "Christian failure" as Christ's redemptive work in a person never fails but it is always the walk of the Christian that often fails but never the Lord. All Christians struggle with something and our struggles have no bearing whatsoever on our eternal security in the Lord. Regardless of what it is that you struggle with, always remember that when jesus hung on the cross, He did more than just die for our sins, He BECAME our sin. You are as saved right now as any of the apostles but Satan doesn't want you to know that as he wants to keep your mind focused on yourself and wants you to feel down so so that you start to doubt God's goodness. He just loves to have Christians on his "treadmill" of doubt, guilt, and discouragement as he knows that it will affect their Christian service and their walk. Ant changes that are to be made to you will be made by the Lord as He is the one who performs all the "clean up" and rebuilding work in our lives and so just commit everything to him. believe me; He understand! And never ever doubt the goodness of the Lord as we are unable to help our "condition" which we all inherited from Adam and it is this condition which the Lord has "treated" and when we read the scriptures we see clearly that our inherent sin nature will always be a problem. Two people live inside every believer, the old person and the new. Scripture also tells us that the two are not compatible as the flesh wars against the Spirit and the Spirit wars against the flesh and this struggle will be ongoing almost to the day we leave this earth as we still have our "old baggage" to contend with and scripturally, you have no right to condemn yourself as the Lord has already condemned someone else in your place (Jesus) Each time you sin, just confess it to the Lord and also commit that problem to Him for Him to handle in the future and then just keep walking and looking straight ahead. I have been a Christian for many years and I still struggle with various issues and I know that the struggles will never totally cease as long as I draw breath on this earth. I know your struggles and I can safely say that every born again believer would be going through one trial or another so take comfort in that fact that you are not alone in your situation. I have prayed for you while I was preparing this message as I see Satan "Desires to sift you as wheat" and have you in a state of disarray however, he can never take you out of the Lord's Strong hand as you are now his property eternally and regardless of whatever befalls you in the future, You can never Cease to be a child of God as you have his promises that you already have eternal life and that there is an inheritance laid up for you in heaven. You already have all this and it's only Satan that now creates the doubts, guilt, and fears all of which are totally without any foundation. You keep your chin up and walk in the sunshine every day. God Bless! PS, please read Romans 3:22 and remember that this verse applies to you too!

Answer 10

When I promised God that I would quit smoking what happened later was I still off and on smoked for the next 2 years. Temptations are hard to defeat, but again and again with sorrow I came back to Jesus and ask Him for strength because I was weak. I still remember when I cried the last time I held the cigarette.



God is good and considerate. At last after those years of struggling I didn't want to touch tobacco anymore or stay near anyone with it.



Please don't give up. God loves you!

Answer 11

If you're in a row boat in the middle of the ocean you can pray to god but I'd start rowing towards shore. If this is a problem for you and you really repent, one solution would be for you to get rid of your computer. Matthew 18:9 According to bible all sins are forgiven. Repent and go in peace.

Answer 12

i think you need to go to church and take it seriously not as a routine thing that will get you to heaven. Your life is just as important as anyone elses so God is always listening. just have patience and think before you act. Also you might need to find a support group, sourround yourself with people who are good influences and know what you did wrong and be truly sorry for it. You are always forgiven. thats why God died on the cross. to forgive thoes sins. but dont just take for granted this. I would go see your pastor. God bless you too.

Answer 13

I, I, I, everything you say is I. It isn't about you, it is about Jesus and he has paid the price for all your sins (even future sins). Take a chill pill and thank God for sending his son to wash you of all your sins. If you sin again just try to recommit youself again and again and again. Because, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. But, it is by the blood of the Lamb we are saved not by works but by grace. The grace of God.

Answer 14

Honest advice...?

I am not strictly religious so this is probably not what you want to hear, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

1. God gave you a penis. God gave you hands, and God gave you hormones.

2. Even animals masturbate.

3. Surely God would prefer you to masturbate than have sex before marriage?

Answer 15

If you believe in Jesus and His teachings then know that Jesus forgives all. We are ALL sinners, we all slip up and srew up, but God loves us and is more then willing to forgive us each and every time we sin.

Answer 16

Psalm 53 (King James Version)



Psalm 53

1The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: there is none that doeth good.



2God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, that did seek God.



3Every one of them is gone back: they are altogether become filthy; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.



Romans 7:23-25 (King James Version)



23But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.



24O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?



25I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.





Romans 8 (King James Version)



Romans 8

1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.



2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.



3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:



4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.



5For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.



6For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.



John 8:36 (King James Version)



36If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

Answer 17

If your spirit still troubles you about these matters, you are not lost.



We fall, we repent and get back up, and get back into the fight. Repeat until death.



Blessings.

/Orthodox

Answer 18

It doesn't work because Christianity, like all other religions, is completely FAKE. I've been there where you are. What you need to do is give up this nonsense that some dead Jew is going to "save" you. It's perfectly natural for you to want to jack off and get that release, and there's nothing with using porn to help you do it. Get rid of the religion, it's your problem.

Answer 19

A fé é poderosa e pode muita coisa. No entanto, eu aconselharia você a fazer análise. Com certeza dará bons resultados. Não sei se existe por aí, mas tem profissionais especializados que podem ajudar você a libertar dos vícios.



Não estou falando de religiosos não, profissionais da saúde mesmo.

Answer 20

Prayer done.

Answer 21

If you are really serious about combating this problem, get rid of everything that opens a window to pornography. That includes a TV with any cable, and this computer.



Get into bible study and stay there. You are battling the enemy, and without being around the bible, and church, and prayer, satan will destroy you. Only Jesus can help you find your way out. Throw yourself into bible study, and get rid of everything that tempts you.



I'm not kidding.

Answer 22

check out: OnePlace.com (Listen to these godly men!!) serious!