To All Ex-Mormons why did you leave the church?

Question

The LDS church is very interesting to me, and i was wondering what causes people to get out, and what ignited the process? I cant imagine one would wake up one day after years of being raised in the church to just all of a sudden hate it. So if you could please tell me why you left, and if there was a specific instance that sparked your choice?

Answer 1

I left and came back ten years later, if I count. I just never had that strong of a commitment to it and I felt all it ever did for me was limit me. To me, it was made up old folks and rules. I was Lutheran before I joined the LDS church. After I left, I didn't want to be a part of any church, though I attended many with friends out of curiousity and for learning about new things. I wasn't seeking any "truth" at the time. I didn't have a problem with the doctrine of the LDS church, not really. I never really had a testimony of Joseph Smith's story from the get-go. I figured that if it was true, that was nice, but it probably wasn't true. It took me a long time after I came back to finally understand anything about Joseph Smith or the foundations of the church. And yes, I heard all the "history" that comes from critics of the church and I didn't believe that, either. It seemed like one fantastic story against an equally stupid story, both had the same credibility--one based on the word of gullible suckers, and the other based on the word of really mean, grouchy people who were also gullible suckers. I had read the Book of Mormon a couple of times and I liked it, it was easier to understand than the Bible, which I had also read several times. I always felt that it did have some truth it, even if it was simply made up. If there was a God, who had a son named Jesus, then the Book of Mormon made logical sense to me. But I guess I wasn't that interested in religion at all to commit myself to any church, though I did have fond and happy memories of being involved in church--both of the religions I had belonged to.



No one really bothered me to come back. So I guess I didn't live through the "horror stories" that other people talk about, being sucked in and never let go by relatives and ward members. My visiting teachers came once after I decided to leave, and I remember telling them how much I loved the movie "Dances with Wolves" and one quipped "Yes, it was a good movie, except for one scene." And I said "Oh, my gosh! How does one tasteful dipiction of love making ruin a good movie? " And I saw the really really disapproving looks on their faces as they hurried to leave. I thought, "I never want to live my life being THAT uptight." So I didn't. That's the last time someone came to visit me, but that's the way visiting teaching goes--I know it often doesn't get done and I was "lucky" enough to not be visited again.



Basically, I didn't want to go to church or be a part of church, and there was no one there to encourage me to be there. I wanted to be free to do as I please. So that's why I left.



Now, if you want the story on why I came back, well, that's not part of the question.

Answer 2

We were just talking yesterday in Sunday School, about how we can know what is real. How DO we know what is real? In the "world", we use science. A person has a theory/idea, they test it somehow, and if it can be repeated, then it is considered "real" or "evidence". (That's a very basic scientific 'route', haha) It is the same with the gospel. We think the Book of Mormon is true. We read it and "test" it. We ask God if it is true. We get a yes. Then, everytime we read it, we feel the Spirit. When we go to church, we feel the Spirit. Our prayers are answered. Paying tithing "pays off". Blessings are repeated and repeated. That is how we know. I also think there is a big difference in believing something is true and KNOWING something is true. When people "believe" something, in my experience, there is less action. They might believe the Word of Wisdom is good and true, but still have a coffee here or there or an alcoholic drink here or there. They might believe the church is true, but actually go to church only a few times a year. When a person KNOWS the church is true, they LIVE it. They go to church every week. They read the scriptures. They pay their tithes and offerings... etc. etc. WHY are you leaving the church? Where/from whom are you looking for "facts" behind your reasoning? If it's not from the Lord, then you are looking in the wrong place. Even from other members. Ask your Father in Heaven. Quite honestly, there is NO good reason to leave the church. Really. The church is true, the gospel is true, and your Father loves you. He wants what is best for you. I promise you, if you leave the church, it will be the worst mistake you ever make. BUT, if you stay, and you seek for a testimony, you will get it and your life (and eternal life) can be the best. Don't you want the very best?? I hope you make the right decision :)

Answer 3

I was never actually baptized although I thought it was true over and over. It basically came down to these couple things:



Other Scriptures other than the Bible

Some ideas that were found nowhere in the bible

Belief that somehow they were the one true Church



But I just could not join a church that believed in some things that were not found in the bible and members believing things that maybe wasn't Doctrine but many people believe.

Answer 4

I decided that I really wanted to know whether the church was true or not.



That is all it took. I looked at what I already knew of the arguments for both sides, did some more research, and sadly realized what was going on.



I have yet to find a believing Mormon who sincerely says they really want to know if it is all true. What they really want is to know THAT it is true, not IF it is true.



The facts are all out there today for anyone who wants them.



It would have been far easier to stay Mormon, believe me. It was a bumpy ride out, but now I'm free and I'd never go back to that kind of invasive control.



It would be amusing to listen to Mormons tell themselves we are all weak sinners, except my kids heard that lie from them too often.

Answer 5

There's seldomly any "sudden" hatred. Sometimes there's no hatred involved at all. You simply grow up and away from unprovable child-like fantasies that make up mormon doctrines. You attempt to prove what you are being taught, and the proof just isn't there no matter how desperately you try to find it. You deny this at first, of course. Some deny it until the day they die. Others can't help but face it in varying degrees. Some can't live with the lie, some can. Once you find out the truth about the lies, you wobble for a bit. The lies vs. truth realities have now rocked your world out of its ruts -- all of it -- social, mental, emotional, generational, school, government, even your neighbors. The UT / SLC ghetto reinforces every aspect of your life with its ritualized religion.



So where do you go? Who can you talk to? If you say anything, you're either gently or overtly guided straight back to the church's doctrines, re-twisting your head. Some fight going back into the dark. Few win. The runners typically win if their family chooses them instead of the church. Thank God for such! Mine did and now mine and my husband's entire family are now completely mormon-free, cousins included! Did anyone "fall" into reprobate sin afterward? No. But that's what they tell you what will happen. I'm not saying it was easy, but God is faithful to those who seek the truth of HIs Word. Always.



By believing the church, no one else gets to a greater heaven besides mormons. THEY make provision for others but not by grace, by temple. Temple, temple, temple! There's no room for God to move any other way, to them.



Two sisters went through WW2 in a concentration camp for being caught hiding jews. The things they suffered for Christ were unbearable! I asked the higher ups if these two would go to heaven. They wouldn't answer until I asked the third time. I originally wanted to know---for their sakes, not mine!! Yes, as long as they were telling the truth. Huh? Well. The church says temple means perfection, not sacrifice for Christ. That did it. Can't have it both ways. God says He commands heaven and hell, not the mormon church. The more I investigated, the more lies I uncovered. Their "prophets" never said a single prophecy that came true. God wants all people to be saved, not just mormons. There is no exalted man-god and his wife. Ludicrous! The bible is true, and the holy Word of God. There was no holy "BOM". It was pure farce. The exodus began, slow but sure. Mine took two years, but get out I did, and have never looked back in fifty odd years. Not once.



There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still.

---Betsey Ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Answer 6

Honest answer? I read the Bible. There are way too many things that are flat out against scripture that the mormons do. They justify it by saying the bible is corrupt? Why read it then and claim to believe it? They are always rationalizing and making excuses against the scriptures. They claim Jesus but the Jesus they speak of is no where near the Jesus in the Bible. They believe they earn heaven and to earn the best you have to be mormon. When asked my faith I say follower of Jesus. I dont care what denomination someone is as long as they follow the Biblical Jesus. Baptists, AG, non denom, any protestant faith all agree on the same initial things regarding Jesus. Mormons do not. They are mormon not christian and they will always say they are mormon. When asked if they are christian they are like well yeah. If they were being baptized in a Christian church would be just fine for them like it is for us-no baptist cares where you were baptized as long as it is a Christian baptism same with AG, presby, methodist, and the rest of the protestants. You have to be baptized mormon, believe in their prophet, and follow their rituals for it to "count" I have lost many friends from leaving that church simply because I left. If they didnt lie to me while trying to convert I never would have joined. I figured it out later. Jesus shows truth. Mormons are nice people yes but being nice does not get you into heaven. Jesus is the way. Jesus hated religion. If you are considering joining their faith I beg you to pray and not rely on the "burning in your bosom" as they put it. Rely on God's truth. God said the heart is deceitful. Just because mormonism feels good doesnt mean its truth. Read the Bible-not their copy of it with their footnotes mind you. Go to any church and ask to borrow one if you can get one they will let you have it. Jesus said the gate is narrow to heaven-He is that gate. He is the only way and I stake my life on it. Please dont get sucked into this lie. Your eternity depends on it.

Answer 7

Here's my personal list...sorry so long. :)

I was a young adult convert and NOTHING controversial is taught to you about Mormonism, SO Much is hidden.

1. The extent of the polygamy in the past, Joseph Smith and bigamy, and polyandry. 11 of smith's wives were already married to living men.That's polyandry, He had 34 wives while alive. A third of those wives were teenagers. While he was 36 to 38 years old. He lied to Emma and told the wives to lie... All in the name of God?

See..http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/

ALSO

The belief of polygamy in Heaven even for LDS men today, if the first wife dies then the man can be sealed to another wife and have them both for Heaven! (women cannot do this)

See..http://www..utlm.org/onlineresources/lds…

2.The real rock in a hat translation of the Book of mormon, he was not right in front of the "golden plates." (the LDS church does not teach to right history about this.)

The plates were said to be in the woods or under a blanket in the other room. Joseph would put a seer stone in a hat and one at a time reveal the translated character to a scribe.

3. At least nine accounts of the supposed "first vision" that Joseph had. One time it was just God then God and Christ then this than that. Angels in Some, etc.

4. The temple endowment period, and the changes involved. With the Handshakes, memorizing nonsense, new names, strange rituals for heaven. The secretiveness because it is bizarre. (and not Biblical to go to "heaven.")

5. The DNA issues with the book of mormon, with NO real physical evidence. Where in the steel, and the artifacts if "more than 100,000" people dies in HUGE battles?

6. The book of Abraham found to be a false translation and a fraud. It just is..

See..http://www.bookofabraham.com/intro.html Joseph made it up.

7. The kinderhook plates.http://www.mormonthink.com/kinderhookweb…

8. Blood Atonement taught for decades.

9. The teaching that Adam was God and that Brigham stated that GOD straight told him this himself. Taught for over 30 years. Later LDS prophets had to take that teaching back and call it "false."

10. Levels of Heaven and that only worthy mormons and the innocent will be with God in the highest level. ALL others must convert after death and have their temple work done for them. They will be in the lower levels with Just Christ and or the Holy Ghost. So see saying that Christians are saved means that unless they convert they will not be with God. Right? That is the belief...

11. The amount of trust some members put in LDS leadership, despite all the hateful, racist, silly statement that have made over and over. NOT over a thousand statement cannot all be "out of context." come on now... their "opinion?" over and over.

12. Over 4000 changes to the book of mormon, the supposed "most correct book on Earth." Most Doctrinal changes.

13. Beware of "Changing Doctrine" to suit the times.

14. Plagiarism with the Bible, other books,and maps of the time for the BOM.

15. That God was once a man, and that we are is literal children, and that he has a wife(s) and that faithful LDS can attain all he has. (that's not Biblical)

16. The whole curse of Cain doctrine, (I had no clue about it) and that not even black women were allowed to attend LDS temple if members. This not changed until 1978, far to late if you say the whole country was racist. OH and the awful statements made by LDS leadership about blacks, gays, Christians,monogamy, etc. See...http://www.mormonquotes.com/search.php?c…

How many quotes and teachings could be just "out of context? 100?1000?

17. LDS APOLOGETICS and their so called "answers" to controversial issues.Why would this church need so many sites like this? They give no real answers!

18.(This was my very first eye opener.)

The author Emanuel Swedenborg was an author before Smiths time and in his book Swedenborg talks about celestial marriage, levels of heaven, (called the same) spirit prison ETC... I was shocked. That was not form Smith or GOD.

19. There was another book called the View of the Hebrews, I guess it was written by another man, but the manuscript is FAR too close to the BOM. http://www.lds-mormon.com/voh.shtml

More comparisons here, http://www.lds-mormon.com/voh1.shtml

20. Joseph Smith and the head in the hat translation of the book of Mormon. That part is not taught to potential converts or even members.

See...

http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon456…

Answer 8

It wasn't sudden, and I didn't 'hate' it. I simply found that I disagreed with what I was being told.



I wasn't offended by anyone, I didn't feel a strong urge to sin. I still don't drink, smoke, party, etc.



The more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed that Joseph Smith was good material for a prophet. He slept with 14 year old girls. He told them that if they would marry him, their whole family would get a free pass to heaven. He told adult women that if they didn't marry him, he would smear their names. And he did in one case. He sent other men on missions out of the country and then married their wives while they were gone.



Then I studied up on the history of the Americas before the Europeans came. Whoops. It had nothing to do with what is in the Book of Mormon.



The Book of Abraham scrolls resurfaced, and they were nothing like we were told they would be. It's such on obvious fraud.



Mark Hofmann sold forged documents to Hinckley. There was no discernment.



There is so much like that. I really came to question whether a loving omniscent God would demand that everyone have a bunch of ordinances said over them that required exact wording or else. It's so petty and bureaucratic.



It all added up and up. You try to ignore it because you were brought up to believe all this stuff, but eventually your brain just explodes from all the problems.



Then I saw there was one easy solution. The whole thing is a scam. Suddenly all the problems made perfect sense.



Leaving was excruciating. My family was horrified, my friends left me. No one has ever asked me why I left, and I hear people claim I wanted to sin. It's like rumors and gossip in high school.

Answer 9

I did not like the way women were treated in the church, being taught that the teen women needed to control not only themselves but the men as well while they were allowed to test us teen women to see how far we would go to see if we were temple worthy was sexualy harrassment to me. I saw too many women ACT happy at church but sad behind closed doors. My mom was depressed, my dad had OCD, I was suicidal, my brother was autistic, my uncle was schizo, and sexual abuse seemed to run in the family. I also saw demons in my house all the time when I reported this to my dad, he always told me I was crazy...as a priesthood holder I would have thought he would have been able to discern their presence. I had nightmares because of it until I was 13. I did not like the Curse of the Laminites and the Mark of Cain. I saw allot of prejudism in UT. I was taught a real prejudist version of the war in heaven story. I was also taught the JofD. I used the burning in the bosom to find my eternal partner and all the men I prayed about where all Mr. right, this could not be right. I was in UT when the Hoofman scandel took place and ted Bundy was a Mormon, this made the church look stupid!!! they could not even find the bodies that ted bundy killed they are still buried in UT. I was always taught that Satan was out to kill me and God was always watching me, I almost died six times because of this FEAR! Shall I go on as for Mormons claim that I went wild when I left, sinners are always welcomed in the Christian church, its just you mormons that are judgemental and thats why I am a Christian!!!

Mormons always think I left because someone offended me, ot I lost my testimony or I wanted to whore around, so silly because I knew Bishops daughters that were whoring around and did not need to leave the church at all...I mean come on you never have to leave the churhc to whore around...that is the stupiest thing I ever heard you go out and have sex and you don't tell your Bishop!!! whay would you have to leave the church to have sex!!!! dum dum dum!!!!You can drink and smoke and all that other stuff and still ACT like a standing member of the church and I have known members like that so don;t ACT Lke they don't exist!!! Mormons with no conscience.

@Nephi my parent never disobeyed the WofW and they all died of Cancer and diabetes and other medical painful problems while I have been cancer free!!! EXplain that Mormon!!!



@Ross come now if I was ever happy as a Mormon in my 35 years don;t you think i would come back like COLEBOLE!? I am quite happy as a Christian and would want nothing more then you see you as happy as I!

By the way my dad has always been happy to never confess his sexual sins to his bishop, and as a clerk working closely with the Bishopbrick none of them have ever discerned that he had such sins and never repented, he is one happy camper!!!

Answer 10

free thinking

Answer 11

There are two exmormons in our ward. They were excommunicated for serious sexual sin, but both repented and were eventually rebaptized, becoming exexmormons. Some people fight for what others throw away.

Answer 12

i would say its from an unwillingness to make necessary sacrifices living the gospel requires. but people need to understand that the gospel requires sacrifice. without it their would never be faith. first comes faith then sacrifice then the blessings.

Answer 13

Well, I never felt the way i was supposed to. But i never admitted it to anyone. The first time i thought about not being mormon was when i was 12....i remember because it wasnt long after i started young womens. But it took me YEARS to admit to myself that i didnt believe it. During that time i was depressed, didnt think i was good enough for anything, tried to kill myself....(insert "poor me" speech here because i dont want to go into great detail.) I prayed every night for God to let me feel what everyone around me was feeling. I read the scriptures every night. I studied harder than everyone else. I knew the hard answers in church, or seminary when no one else did. I quizzed my brother on the scriptures while he was getting ready for his mission. I did everything I could to convince people i believed it. Every night I would cry and ask God why I couldnt believe it.



when i was 15 I started noticing things i didnt like in the teachings. The first thing I remember 100% disagreeing with was that people with dark skin had "the sign of the curse" I didnt know why it bothered me so much but it did. Then I heard that gay people were sinners. That was appalling to me. I thought we were supposed to love everyone and treat them as equals...why were they teaching me to hate gay people? I asked and never got a answer good enough. it was always "because when you get married its supposed to be a man and woman. Two women or two men is just wrong"

at 18 I started looking at material that wasn't mormon approved. But i wouldnt even consider it MIGHT be true. I got married and moved across the country. Got on medication (which i was told i would need for the rest of my life) Stopped going to church. The missionaries came to talk to me at least once a month (never when my husband was home but that is a long story so i will leave it out) they tried to get me to go to church and i always said maybe. They started getting more and more pushy and started saying weird things like "how are you going to grow spiritually without guidance" I dont know why it sounded weird, it was more like "come to church so we can tell you how to live" I dont know if it was just me being stubborn or if that was the real message they were sending. Still to this day i am confused about it.



I finally admitted to myself that i didnt believe it. At all. I struggled with it for a long time. I was afraid that i would go to hell. I didnt want to disappoint anyone, and i knew i would. It was a vicious cycle...i wanted to leave, but feeling like that made me feel guilty so i would start trying to believe it again. Over and over and over.



When i was 23 I started REALLY reading different things. I started to think about them and they made more sense than the mormon explanations. I decided I was going to live the rest of my life as an inactive member (just in case i was wrong) but i figured out God wouldnt like me staying just because i was scared. that and another specific event made me decide to get my name removed.



in a nut shell...my mom (the biggest molly mormon i have ever met) broke my heart one too many times. Instead of playing her stupid games with my husband she started in on my daughter. That is one thing I will not tolerate. and to stab me in the heart even more, she denied everything. even though I know what she did. I already knew i would remove my name, i just thought it would be another year or so. But i knew that it was the one way i could break her cold heart. so i did it. After she denied several times that she did anything wrong, tried to give me a guilt trip (which worked on a certain level) and blamed satan (said satan used my 4 year old daughter to make my husband hate her) for something she did.....I was done. i guess you could say that is the last thing that "sparked my choice"



But even after that I felt guilty. I sent in my papers and i was out. as soon as it was done i started improving in several ways. Im stronger in my beliefs (after a short time of not believing in God, I realized that just because i dont believe in organized religion doesnt mean i cant believe in God.) I am off my meds (after 3 years being on them) I know who i am. I know that as long as i am a good person, God wont punish me by sending me to hell. I am a better wife and mother. I hardly ever cry anymore. I am happy. HAPPY!!! I never realized what i was missing. I laugh because i feel like laughing, not because i know im supposed to. I feel free. I know my thoughts are mine! i know that if i dont agree with something i dont have to believe it. I dont have to accept something I feel is wrong. Its nice.

But on the other hand, my family was crushed, which makes me feel bad. They all say im going to hell. My mom cries every time i say anything about religion. My whole family told me i ruined the family. I wont be able to have a close relationship with them for a VERY long time. It hurts knowing they hate the choices i made. But I have to live the way i feel is right. i know they still love me, and i still love them.

obviously i left a bunch out, but i dont want to take up too much room. :D

Answer 14

*morons