How can homosexuality be a choice?

Question

I was not raised in a religious home,so i was never raised on the bible.. And never was taught homosexuality was bad..I started to go through puberty and i liked guys and girls in the same way..It was natural to me,i thought it was normal to be like this,but i started going to a a private school (christian) and started to learn about the bible and found out my feeling were wrong and i searched and saw many people thought this..So i thought i was wrong and hid it even tho i still liked girls i never acted on it till i was older and saw my feelings are not wrong in anyway..

But my question is how can people still think its a choice when it came naturally to me,and to so many others?

Answer 1

Since you never experienced making a choice, it probably never occurred to you someone could think sexuality is a choice. My experience never included choice either, though I'm hetero.



So how do people even consider that it might be a choice? I can only assume they have struggled with the choice. In other words, lots of religious people are still in the closet. Otherwise, I have to assume it's just the stance they take to support their dogma, which is far more pernicious.

Answer 2

I'm not going to try and tell you that either choice is right or wrong. And Please don't think that I'm trying to compare any of actions to the actions of choices in sexuality, but only sticking to the question that you posted about how something can be a choice when it comes to you naturally.



To somepeople it is a natural reaction to kill another person over something as simple as a pair of shoes. Some people are naturally aroused by children. The list of negatives goes a long way. On the other side of things many times a person naturally leans towards good and positive things.



My point being, just because it seems natural to you doesn't mean that it is either good or bad, right or wrong. A choice is decided on the result or outcome of that choice, not whether it feels natural to you. It feels natural for me to drive way too fast. The result could be death, paralysis, etc... but so far only tickets and money.



Decide for yourself whether you think the action itself is right or wrong. Then you can either do as you feel naturally or control that which comes naturaly. And following social pressure is usualy not the answer, as that's a rollercoaster in itself.

Answer 3

You're right we can opt on not having sex at all or in the worst case have hetero sex just to sustain an image but that's the only decision here. The instincts, feelings, guts won't change. There are no solid researches on this all of them ended up inconclusive on both ways: the ones saying it's an option and the others saying it's innate. There are some genetic researches though that indicates most gays have an specific combination of genes. What's not proved yet is why some "heteros" also have it but can't accept gay sex as an option.

Answer 4

Ok. Wow. This one will start many fires. Here is what I believe, this is my own personal view, take it or leave it.



I am gay. I just am. It is in my blood. I was gay before I know what that meant. I was very young, 5 or 6, I knew that girls were interesting and that boys were too. It wasn't just a "phase".



As you are a woman, putting aside any lesbian tendencies.... when you meet a man that you find attractive. Is it just that you want to jump his bones? Or do you want to know how he feels, what stuff does he like, what's beautiful, what's ugly; do you want to know his soul? I bet you do?



That is how I FEEL about men. It's not just sex. My heart, not just my mind, gets involved. I have had the same feelings for men, that straight women do, I'm a counselor of sorts, people tell me their lives all the time, I have heard all the drama. So I know that they way I feel cannot be excluded.



And I'm not a sex fiend, I actually don't like anal sex, there are gay men out there who don't like butt sex! I love to do other things, wonderful things. But I don't randomly attack guys on the street because they make me horny.



When I see a guy that's good looking, in the way I really like, I'll look for signs that he might be gay too...if it's not obvious. If it turns out that he's not gay...I'll let him be and continue on with my life. I will not try to convert him or try to convince him that some religious dogma has said that heterosexuality is wrong. That would be silly!



Even if he was gay, there's no guarantee that he'll want to be with me? I have well meaning straight friends who try to set me up with their gay friends all the time, but they don't take into account personality or emotion, they just assume that because we're both gay, we'll fit together.



Randomly pick a man and a woman together in a room. So many things may happen, but unless several impossible things suddenly align, they're not going to just attack each other.



I am gay. I have a heart, just like you. I can love, just like you. If you want to deny yourself love, even if it comes from another woman, it is your choice to ignore, but the feelings will always be there. And I know you know this, deep in your heart and soul, you still feel love for women and not just men.



You can make a mental choice to be hetero, but the homo part cannot be changed. It is who you are.



I wish for you that you find a great lover, but let them be what they are, be they male or female, I hope in that moment, when you find them, that you will also let yourself be what you are. :)

Answer 5

Not when there is a gun to your head... I'm a guy who was forced to have gay sex. I didn't like it. I thought it was competely disgusting. But, I suppose that since I chose not to die over it, maybe I made a conscious choice to do it under duress. What? Should I have died because some pervert wanted to put his supposed manhood in me? Nah, I think that I enjoy life more knowing that I lived past such a horrible experience. I turned back to my non-Catholic fundie Christian faith. My tormentor happened to be from a Catholic family, by the way. And, I believe he just got out of prison.

Answer 6

As a psychology major I wanted to throw in here that Homosexuality hasn't been considered a mental disorder for about 35 years, and she has skewed the statistics. It is said that homosexuals are more likely to have said things done to them because they are harrassed for being gay, they are not gay because these things happened. whoever said that needs to do their research. There is also evidence that homosexuals have different brain chemistry then straight people

Answer 7

funny, that the new version of the bible mentions man with man is a sin when in fact back then the kings, popes and nobility had same sex relationships with young boys. do what you wish, but the bible also mentions that god loves everyone, except those who love money. and we all know that most churches spend over 100,000 dollars making their church the biggest and best church around. moreover, the man speaking the word of god takes in money to speak the word of god. im just sayin' do your homework on the more ORIGINAL version of the bible. take it however you want to, but don't conform to society and the illusions people have about morals. this is america, we don't have any morals! we are a corrupted society that has it all backwards but damn it that doesn't make us bad people. look at the gay suicide rate between now and 1970, not once did a christain protest and fight for their rights. finally, the government controls everything and the reason they wont give gay people rights is because it costs them money to give tax breaks and i have a theory that the government is religion.

Answer 8

I'm sorry but you can't be born gay. It is a proven fact that homosexuality is a psychological dissorder. 99.999% of homosexuals have been thru some sort of emotional trauma... Be it rape, one parent family, low self of steam, phisycal abuse, sexual abuse or many other things.



You just need some counsling and God and you can get over this. It's just like any other sickness.. Good luck.

Answer 9

Here is an answer to a similiar question I gave the other day.



Yes we are all born into sin, that's true. But there is a Christian code of Laws & Principles that have to be adhered to. Now when I go out and sin un-deliberately I observe my conduct and try to correct the error. Now when I work on the fault I am trying to over-ride my inbuilt errors. As soon as one takes on Christianity they commit themselves to be a follower of Christ. Christ was perfect but we are not. If we did not try because of our lack of commitment then we would be no better than the world whom Jesus referred to as his followers being no part of as he was. It is very important that Christ followers shine as being different from the world.



If sinful tendencies arise in a person to live according to this wrongful practice then you must realise that it is fornication. It is the same for man and woman who have sex out of wedlock. The Bible lists that fornication is one of the practices of people who would not inherit God's kingdom.



I do not want to make animosity to people but if one is to practice Christianity then the Christian personality should apply. That means change our way according to what God wants. I am not saying it’s going to be easy and that you do not feel the way you feel. You must understand though that God never sets an unachievable task.

Answer 10

Everything we do in our life, is a choice! God gave the gift of sex to married couples, so whether you have sex with a same sex partner, or an opposite sex partner, that is your choice, and If you are not married it is a wrong choice, because you are taking what does not belong to you, what would you say to a person you invited into your home, where they saw your purse on the table, and while you were not observing or in another room, they helped themselves to the contents of your purse, which was to pay your rent the next day, would you say that they had no choice in the matter?Would you invite them back into your home, in a hurry? It would be unloving of God to not give you an option to choose what you do and then punish you for doing it! Yet the Bible tells us that God is love(1John4:8) so he wouldn't punish you if you had no choice in what you do!

Answer 11

hello by the way



to start with lets break down love. It is commonly thought of as a feeling only.Research as early as the late 80's found that love is not just a feeling.



they traced it back to the brain and certain things that people found to be good traits sent certain impulses to the body then we in turn took those impulses and the bodies reaction to mean a love for somebody as a feeling.



so being gay is actually a set of choices that you made sometime ago that these things are good and desirable in a person of the same sex



if you want you could actually train your mind to make other choices but it is extremely difficult to do



like myself with quiting smoking when i train my self that i no longer want them then i can choose to put them down and not look back.



A lot of times it takes an intervention from God to change the mind and heart so as to not follow after what we desire.



i hope that gives you the info you asked for.and i have no hate for you.



to your add on: it is not morally right for us to have sex except with the one we have married and pledged to stand by all the rest of our days



To be honest here how many times has sex really helped people out usually 15 min, of fun leads to years of regret or pain .Outside of marriage it is hurtful to people



if you wish proof my dear then visit The Family Life Today website .They actually have a man who was gay that run a gay life area of evangalism who has all the proof you would ever need.Now you have the info the choice is your what you do with it.God bless you dear lady

Answer 12

I don't think it can be a choice. Choice implies that there are two options, which would mean that being het is the other choice. I am het, but I did not make a decision about it at any point in my life. Also, I know that I could not just decide to try out boys one day. When I see men, absolutely nothing comes to mind. I can't even figure out why women are attracted to us.

Answer 13

Well, sometimes it is a choice. Sometimes people want to try it just to see what it's like. But often it is a sexual tendency that was learned early on or born with.

I think that because God detests homosexual acts so much it is easier for some people to believe that people with gay tendencies can just snap out of it, which is not true. It takes much discipline, prayer, support and a willingness to do it, but it is very much possible.

Answer 14

dumb 1 - that was abuse and I doubt it was a gay



it's not choice or thanks to emotional or any other abuse

it's not a psychological disorder either - psychologists have acknowledged this

bigots and hypocrites condemn same-sex couples any chance they get. they claim it's choice so that they can discriminate and lie and all-sorts, if you didn't have the sexual orientation then you wouldn't have the feelings that you act on

edit: Christianity stole and redefined marriage like it's stolen many concepts and corrupted them

edit2:ashsreturn - that family site is another bigoted group and the ex-gay thing is a lie

Answer 15

Bible literalists believe that homosexuality is an abomination, so they HAVE to believe that it's a choice. The reason why is because the only other option is to say that God made gays that way, which goes against the whole idea that God doesn't want people to be gay. It's incredibly illogical to say that homosexuality is a choice, and simple arguments can refute it... but extremely religious people are forced into believing that, because their religion gives them no other choice.

Answer 16

One of the top composers in Christian "Praise & Worship Music" was FORMERLY homosexual.



As Paul writes in 1Corinthians 6:11 "Some of you USED TO DO THESE THINGS, BUT.... Lots of times I see people "pick out" verses 9-10 without including this crucial bit of information... Not only CAN these "big sins" Paul lists be left behind, some of the "saints" (see 1:2) in Corinth HAD BEEN involved in them, but were rescued from those choices in their past...



... According to scripture, there is no such thing as "BEING homosexual." Rather, when a person is tempted and gives in to that temptation, they commit a sinful act.



Read Dennis' (and Melinda, his wife) story on his web page at http://www.dennisjernigan.com/djtestimony

... Dennis talks a lot about how some churches have treated people trying to escape the homosexual lifestyle.



As for it "seeming natural," Satan is good at that. If the "trip" to a sinful lifestyle felt strange or unusual, who would go there?



One statement I have heard Dennis say (I have known him and occasionally sung with him for quite a few years) and saw again in his web page:



"Your circumstances, your sins, your wounds, etc., may all be different than mine, but the answer is still the same--Jesus."



Basically, Dennis just restates 1Corinthians 6:11 where I started out this discussion. The whole verse reads:



"Some of you used to do those things. But your sins were washed away. You were made holy. You were made right with God. All of that was done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."



The power to change lives cannot come from the inside. Whatever the situation, whatever change is needed, JESUS is the source of that life-changing power.







Put as simply as I know how, Christians (or churches) who try to condemn or permanently "hold down" ANYONE, regardless of their PAST SINS, whatever they might include, are acting against the clear statement of scripture in this context. Paul makes his point quite vividly to this church. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to put it, "Look around you and remember what each of you USED TO DO..."



1Cor. 6:9-11 is NOT about condemnation, as it is so often misused, but renewal and regeneration through the Spirit.



To me, any mention of the passage which doesn't include verse 11 is a "disservice to the text." In other words, it is plucking words FROM scripture, not to deliver a scriptural message, but one's OWN message... which, in all probability, is OPPOSED to the TRUE message of this scripture.

Answer 17

People can only think it's a choice if they aren't gay or bi themselves. If they were, they'd KNOW it isn't. It's only religious nuts who say it's a choice because that's the only way they can fit it in with the bible.

Answer 18

It is not. Homosexuals are born that way. I support homosexuals 100% (110% if female). I hope all people can accept others for who they are.



People are intolerant because the bible was written when homosexuality was hated. These intolerant people still read the bible which is still homophobic.

Answer 19

homosexuality is indeed a choice b/c GOD does not make ppl an abomination unto him rather they choose to be that way.. somewhere along the line in homosexuals lives, sumthing went wrong and that person was never corrected, and a psychological disorder took over and that person began to explore and exhibit sexual perversion behavior and for some reason, since society is lost today, and trying to be so politcally correct, the homosexual thinks that they were born that way b/c that is what they were told to beleive..the theory that suggests it isnt a choice is garbage and i will never accept that b/c i sternly believe no matter what the world tells me that it is a personal choice to explore deviant behavior to go against the natural purpose of both male and female! although i have nothing against homosexuals ( i have a few friends that are), i do not support their lifestyle and i will not ever entertain that they were born that way.

Answer 20

I don't see how it could be a choice to people who are only attracted to the opposite sex...



But, I guess they think of it as a choice of you completely repressing your desires and living their way.. Or living your way.

Answer 21

A bisexual could be equally attracted to males and females, choose to act on one attraction but not the other according to their religion, and assume everybody else is the same way.

Answer 22

The assumption is that male and females are opposite, but ARE THEY?



I tink there are elements of opposite--female elements and male elements--some we know cnsciously and others we know subconsciously.



Ever wonder why gay men call themselves "queens" and lesbians use the term "butch". Homosexuality is when those of the same sex are attracted to oppostie elemtents in the same sex.



There is MUCH to be learned here I want to learn it!

Answer 23

All act of sex is a choice. It's never a choice how you feel but it is a choice how you act on how you feel. To say any act of sexuality isn't a choice is ludacris.

Answer 24

people think it's a choice because God made woman and man

Answer 25

Anyone who says they have no choice imply that they have no self control.

Self control is a key aspect of self respect.

I don't think people should demand respect, when they are clearly implying that they have no self respect by saying they have no control over their actions.

Everyone has a personal responsibility.

What you choose is what you are, no denying that.

Answer 26

Simple they don't like it and want to make sure that they can't be associated with it. Also, ignorance is a key word here.

Answer 27

They are ignorant, you really can't choose. Also, a big secret is that everyone is actually bisexual, but some are sacred. Then their fear turns to hate.

Answer 28

your born gay, animals are gay and we are know understanding this science. Christians are against everything, they just need to get off their high horse, like that hypocrite Ted Haggard.

Answer 29

Homosecxuailty is not a choice but enaging in homsexual acts is

( unless you are in prision)



Having anal sex with another man is a choice

Answer 30

It is not

Only the ignorant and uneducated hypocrite homophobes think so

Answer 31

We choose to be Mormon or Catholic; we choose to be homophobic or lie or steal or murder; we do not choose our sexual orientation.

Answer 32

Stick it up men's bums. Nothing wrong with that.