should i change my religion to Muslim ?

Question

I have a boyfriend and he is a Muslim. after 8 months he is asking me to change my religion and practice his religion so he can get permission from his parents. but he wants me to be a Muslim forever and practice it forever.. My mom is crying now and she is telling me that it is okay to change it but she is telling me not to cover my hair (it is a must thing for Muslim girls/women) she is afraid that i will become a person who lives in a jail. + one day my children will have to do the same thing and i am afraid they will suffer.. i really love this guy and want to be with him forever.. but he is not ready to marry me if his parents say 'no' so he want me to be a Muslim so he can marry me.. what should i do ? please be kind because i am heartbroken now.. and feels like crazy..

Answer 1

I don't know, do you, say, ACTUALLY BELIEVE what Islam teaches?



If yes, then do it. If no, then don't do it.

But most certainly don't do it just for a boy. That's about as stupid as it gets. Seriously. If he isn't man enough to stand up to his parents over the religion preferences of his spouse, you *really* think this is going to be a healthy relationship long term?

Hint: It's not. This is what most adults call "a warning sign."



Hint #2: People who love you--TRULY love you--don't ask you to change such fundamental things about yourself. They may say "can you star folding your laundry this way so it all lines up?" or "do you mind sleeping on the other side of the bed because I like being near the window?" They don't say "will you change your entire worldview and moral code and present yourself to the world, both in label and dress and attitude, as an entirely different person for me? Pretty please?"



If he wants you to change religions or not marry him it is a CLEAR sign that he loves his religion more than you--and always will. And that means that it will ALWAYS be a threat against you, ALWAYS be HIS way or the high way. You will have to play be HIS rules and HIS interpretation of the religion always--or else. And your kids will, too.



We all experience heartbreak sweetie, but sometimes a little pronounced heartbreak now is better than a lifetime of slow heartbreak or enslaving your kids to an agreement you don't want for them just because you selfishly wanted something for yourself a long time ago.





EDIT: "he told me that his religion is his 1st choice and the parents is 2nd.."

So your hope in life is to marry a man that puts you at least 3rd? High aspirations, eh? This is what women have fought for for centuries--the right to vote, equality in the workforce, equal protection under the law, the chance to play third fiddle in some man's life because he doesn't dare defy his mommy...

(He sounds like a real winner, by the way)



What he is doing is called stringing you along. Pull you deeper and deeper in with promises of maybe, but no intention of actually doing it, until you break down and do the thing he wants. He is wielding his religion as a tool of control and making it be a symbol of your commitment to him. And that is a dangerous thing. A VERY dangerous thing.

(Out of curiosity, any symbols of his commitment to you? Any fundamental worldviews he's offered to change wholesale to make you happy? I mean, he's demanding you change to his religion to marry him. Has he ever even offered to give up his religion and convert to your worldview to marry you? Anything even slightly equivalent to what he's asking you to do?)



Here's where life gets real. Here's where decisions actually matter. Here is where you make a stand and be a strong, independent person or cave and be dependent your whole life. You KNOW this doesn't sound like a good idea. You probably don't want to do it. Yet you are still considering it why? To avoid a little heartbreak? Because he doesn't have the courage to stand up to mommy and daddy? And because of that YOU have to change?



You are going to do what you are going to do. But I strongly encourage you to think long and hard about it because the decision you make here may seriously, actually, truly define you, and your children, for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

This guy loves his religion and his parents more than he loves you. I know a woman right now who married a Shiite Muslim from Iran. He decided to marry her even though she never converted to his religion. According to their religion abortion is a choice but it's not the wife's choice whether the baby gets to be born, it's the husband's. Well he got her pregnant and because she refused to convert and he was already violent and physically abusive toward her out of fear she went ahead and aborted her unborn child. Soon after she had the abortion she started having major health problems including a strange swelling in her left leg which has never gone away. To this day she can barely walk. After she started having these problems he became even more intolerant and abusive. She finally got smart and divorced him. I don't care how sweet and charming this guy seems to be right now he doesn't love you as much as you love him, because if he did he and his parents would accept you just the way you are. If you marry this man even if you convert to his religion he will constantly be trying to change you, conform you, and ultimately control you. He will get frustrated and possibly even get violent. If you convert to any religion because you are being pressured by someone else then that is not a true conversion. You should convert because you had a true encounter with God!

Answer 3

Okay, before making any decisions about conversion, pick up a copy of the Quran and some other books suggested by your boyfriend and his Imam. Read and study these PRIOR to making any decision. Here's why: If you find you like the religion and it fits with your philosophy, you will convert for yourself and Allah, and you will be happy. If you convert simply for a man, and if things don't workout between you, you will not even have your faith to fall back on (or logic and reason).



Let's say you read up on the faith of Islam and decide it is not for you. You will either still convert (and fake your faith) or you will choose not to convert. Either way, you will then have to decide if you can still be with a man who cannot be with you unless you fake your faith. Or you can see if he loves you enough to love you if you were not a Muslim.



So, although I am an Atheist, I do not want to supress your desire to believe as you please, and that is why I did not give you advice based on Atheism. In short, study up on Islam and then decide for yourself with no influence from your mother or your boyfriend.

Answer 4

This Site Might Help You.



RE:

should i change my religion to Muslim ?

I have a boyfriend and he is a Muslim. after 8 months he is asking me to change my religion and practice his religion so he can get permission from his parents. but he wants me to be a Muslim forever and practice it forever.. My mom is crying now and she is telling me that it is okay to change it...

Answer 5

What religion are you now? Are you what many people call themselves as a christian? If you are what have you learned from reading the bible? You are asking everyone who reads and answers this to be kind to you. Sounds to me like you are looking for counselors to tickle your ears. In other words you want someone to say, yes become a muslim, follow your heart. Anyone who says the opposite would be considered as unkind to you. Correct?

The religion you choose is just as important if not more then the man or woman you marry. So if you are going to become a muslim, or catholic, etc, etc just so you can marry someone is just not smart. You are obviously reluctant to move ahead on this matter. But, because you love this person, you are thinking to go ahead anyway. (maybe). What do you know about the muslim god? Are you ready to worship this god? You cannot be a muslim if you do not worship their god. And if you do turn to worshiping this god, what about the god you have been worshiping? Your worship to the muslim god shows that you have turned your back on the god you worshiped. And if you do this without it bothering your conscience, then it also shows that you never had a love for your present god. (I use a lower case -g- because I do not know who your present god is).

I am going to assume that you are of Christendom, and that your religion uses the holy bible. Let us see what the holy bible has to say about this matter;



(Proverbs 18:15) The heart of the understanding one acquires knowledge, and the ear of wise ones seeks to find knowledge.

I have given you this scripture, because you seem to be following this counsel.



(2 Timothy 4:3) For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the healthful teaching, but, in accord with their own desires, they will accumulate teachers for themselves to have their ears tickled;

But does 2 Timothy apply to what you are doing? (this is just a question and not an accusation).



What does the bible say about following your heart?

(Jeremiah 17:9) “The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?

From your point, muslims are unbelievers of what you know. So what does the bible say about unbelievers?

(2 Corinthians 6:14) Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness?

(Deuteronomy 7:3) And you must form no marriage alliance with them. Your daughter you must not give to his son, and his daughter you must not take for your son.

(Deuteronomy 7:4) For he will turn your son from following me, and they will certainly serve other gods; and Jehovah’s anger will indeed blaze against YOU, and he will certainly annihilate you in a hurry.

(Nehemiah 13:25) And I began to find fault with them and call down evil upon them and strike some men of them and pull out their hair and make them swear by God: “YOU should not give YOUR daughters to their sons, and YOU should not accept any of their daughters for YOUR sons or yourselves.

Anyone who loves Jehovah God would follow his counsel on all matters. Especially pertaining to worship.

Do you love God? Or do you love your boyfriend more then God?

Answer 6

Do not be like Adam and change your view due to feelings of a loved one, we all know how that ended. If it was for the right reason, to do good then fair enough but it sounds like you already believe in God and know sin to avoid and have to change your views to please someone else.



Never join a religion that has no equality, are they also covering their hair? Then how come a woman has to be different to man if not due to jealousy, are not both found attractive to the opposite sex and prone to sin? Was Adam and Eve born with head coverings or did they talk to God naked? (well they felt naked, God was not bothered) Why can a woman only have one husband but they can have multiple wives, did not at the very start of existence God only gave Adam one helper, why more later on when there's less work to do?

Answer 7

To be honest, He's right. but wearing a scarf doesnt mean youre going to be imprisoned, wearing a scarf protects you from the evil eyes of the society and is a very nice act.

How will your children suffer by covering their heads?

But you have to be a sincere muslim, otherwise you wont be one. You have to SINCERELY believe in 1 Allah, and his messenger and Dooms Day and everything. IF not, then, you can tell him.

Its up to you, if he forces you, remind him that there is no compulsion in religion.

Answer 8

Do not.



Simply put, if he loves his religion more than he loves you, then it's simply not worth it. If he's caving in to the pressure of his family, then he's a door mat, and it's not worth it. If his parents do not care about his happiness, and care more about the religion of his spouse, it's not worth it.



You're not marrying his family. His parents should just piss off.



Edit: So his religion comes first then his family?



Wow. Ok, I strongly advise you to take a heartbreak now than later. I know that where love is concerned things aren't quite as easy, but from a rational point of view, I'd say that there's HUGE red flags and alarm bells all over your relationship.



My advice is that you run as fast as possible.



Find some nice a religious, non-spiritual guy. At least he won't try to convert you to flyingspaghettimonsterism or pinkinvisibleunicornism before marrying you.

Answer 9

"telling me not to cover my hair (it is a must thing for Muslim girls/women) she is afraid that i will become a person who lives in a jail."

I don't see the connection here.

Answer 10

dont switch to Muslim because someone else is.

stay with the religion you love an want to be.

You sound very naive.



example im Christianity and my girl friend is a atheist. im not going to convert to a atheist for a relationship. dont be just because he is be because you want to be.I wont bother her about being one yet we will still be together because its about the person not there faith or religion. :)



act Muslim to marry him an then be your self :)

or what ever you want.



[ Example =]

its sort of like saying my girl friend supports Hitler an i have to Support Hitler so her parents say yes an then we can get married because we Both Support Hitler.



[ Note in which to myself i think is right ? ]

That you dont need his parents perm mission. isnt the other way around??

the Guy ask for the Girls parents for permission to marry there daughter.



and Since he is getting married you dont need permission so its like He is getting married to Lead his own life not to be Dictated by his parents on who he can or can not marry.

I think im right about this line but i could be wrong...?

Answer 11

My friend lives in the Philippines and is Catholic. Her husband was working in Kuwait and found a Muslim woman he wished to marry. He converted , married her and kept his first wife who was very, very upset. She had aged and he wanted a younger bride.

Marriage is not a good idea for a woman unless she doesn't mind sharing him with other women.

There is no reason to marry a man if he takes other women as his wives. You may love him but as you age and have his children, he can pass you over for a younger second wife and you are stuck with him.

Answer 12

Wow he is very tolerant right?



Do you want to marry that dictator or to a person who really loves you?



If you want to cry for the rest of your life you marry him

Answer 13

This is how religions spread. They are essentially viruses with various mechanisms for infecting other people. Why can't he convert to YOUR religion? The answer is that his religion - qua virus - is more virulent than yours.



If he can't see past that, walk away now. The cost of future happiness is, unforunately, suffering some heartbreak now.

Answer 14

If you want to change your beliefs and become a slave to a muslim man, that's your choice.

Answer 15

You mean should you change your religion to Islam?:) You should first understand Islam before converting. Tell your boyfriend to give you time, and don't be unfair to you by ordering you to make a drastic change. Seek knowledge. Read the Qur'an, ayat,hadith and sunnah. I hope this helps.

Answer 16

Religion is your belief. Tell you boyfriend that he needs to respect your religion and if he loves you he will let you chose your own religion.

Answer 17

to be quite honest he probably just wants to create more muslims in the society and doesn't give a damn about you. to muslim men women are expendable. that's why they practice plural marriage and have harems full of women to have sex with. I would avoid Islam at all costs. it's a religion of hatred, violence, pedophilia and murder. just read the quran and hadith!

Answer 18

This much pain to force yourself into a new religion for the acceptance of others... Why bother, really?

Answer 19

dont do it if u are christian . if you are atheist at least u will be live in god . you understand me woman!plass he should respect you as well and love you you cant " clap with one hand " . so he hear his parents and if he marry you his parents always will have a part in your marrage they will not gone leave you you will never gone to have your freedom. if he refuse to marry you as you are you ill get over him even if you feel you cant live with out him for some time . i guaranti you for this you always forget some one a little less.

Answer 20

It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship if you have to convert to get married. Ultimately, it's up to you though. If he truly loves you, he would accept who you are.

Answer 21

Ask yourself what's pushing you to take his request really at heart, love for him or the religion he is taking you to consider...

Answer 22

I'm assuming you're a Christian?



Ask him to convert to Christianity.

If he won't contemplate the idea, then neither should you.



If he's more commited to his religion than he is to you, then that's not a good omen for your relationship.

Answer 23

just out of curiosity since my answer is really late, did you get married and/or convert?

Answer 24

"after 8 months he is asking me to change my religion"



FAIL !



tell him to piss off. to come to the conclusion that x is right is not a choice. tell him that.



you're trading your FREE LIFE for this shit. are you aware of that ?

either he wants you as you are or he doesn't want you.

and why don't they change their religion ?

Answer 25

A handful of misguided youth doesn't represent the whole community.

Islam is a religion of peace. Go ahead !!

Answer 26

if he loves u more than his religion then he will be willing to accept your own beliefs as well..

Answer 27

Peace



Love is unconditional, if you want to change religion it should be your decision.

Modesty is the requirement covering the hair and not being modest would create more guilt in you. So just be Modest and don't think about wearing Hijab , yet.



If you are a Christian , you don't need to change your religion. Just accept Jesus Christ as a Messiah and Prophet of God that would be enough .



By the way , Its ISLAM>

Answer 28

You sound very naive.



Find out what your getting into first

Answer 29

ur mother has lack of knowledge of islam.

every major religion says that woman should cover her hair



christianity even says in 1 Corinthians 11:5, that women's hair should be shaved off if she doesnt cover her head.



Nowhere does islam say that shave off women's hair if they dont wear scarf.



Covering ur head is nothing bad, why ur mother is opposed to it?

Answer 30

If you want to be considered property like a cow.

Answer 31

No, you shouldn't change your faith unless you actually want to do it because of the faith.

Answer 32

Before you do anything, read this article:



http://www.wikiislam.net/wiki/Islam_and_Women

Answer 33

Don't be Muslim. I'm Christian, and the Muslim religion speaks against Jesus as God, so is a religion of the anti-Christ, the devil. Also, that faith is preaching hate instead of peace and love. God is love. So, don't do it. Instead be a Christian and find a nice Christian guy to date and marry.

Most important in life is to know and follow God in your life and when you know and follow God as a Christian you can get God's guidance, help, and get to heaven forever after you die someday, if you live a good, God-honoring life. If you live a life without God, then you go to hell -- a bad place of suffering forever, when you die. God is our spiritual Father, life, love, all-powerful, eternal, holy, all-knowing. Praying the prayer below will make you a Christian. Then, live it out with faith and love for God and Jesus Christ, love others, Bible study, prayer, and church. It's about having a relationship with God.

This is how to know God -- the basic Christian message and prayer --- you need to accept God's Son, Jesus Christ, into your life to be a Christian and follow God's ways so you can receive God's guidance in your life and get to heaven after you die. Knowing God can transform your life. When you know God, then pray about your life, God can help you live a better life. As God is love, life is primarily about love and relationships in order to have a rich and full life. Also, you need to know God's Son, Jesus Christ, in your life as your Lord and Savior as Jesus died on the cross as payment for our sins. Having Him with you will give you God's blessing and forgiveness, as you live God's way. Not following God leads to hell, eternal suffering. Instead, there is an important prayer to pray to become a Christian. This prayer should be said with faith in God and a sincere heart:

"Dear God, I know that I am a sinful person and I don't want to be like this anymore. I know that Jesus Christ died on the cross as payment for our sins, and I want to accept Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior so I can receive God's forgiveness, guidance, and go to heaven someday. Thank you, dear God, for your mercy and guidance; in Jesus' name. Amen."

This prayer can take you to a new place in your relationship with God and transform your life. After saying this prayer, you should check out a Christian church, like Baptist or Lutheran (not ELCA Lutheran). The church can get you baptized and prayed for, and you can pray for yourself daily.

The church can get you into their Bible study group so you can learn more about God, Jesus, and God's will for your life. The Bible is God's instruction book about how to live a God-honoring life so you can go to heaven after you die. Ways to stay connected to God's path include loving God and Jesus Christ, obeying God's ways, daily Bible reading, daily prayer for yourself and others, getting to church, having your church prayer group and/or pastor pray for you, fasting with prayer for a higher level of prayer, getting with other Christians and doing a Bible study, singing hymns to God, taking communion with the church, helping and loving others, expressing your gratitude to God for His help in your life by telling others of your progress and helping them draw closer to God too, tithing, volunteering at church. Continue to turn from sins and seek God's forgiveness in your life as you live your daily life. God guide your life.

Answer 34

Not worth it.Religion is poison.All of it.

Answer 35

Anyone knows Sheikh Ahmed Deedat he was a Great Person, Sources from Pakistan to us that Sheikh Deedat's son Ebrahim Deedat was murdered in Pakisan By her own daughter Zakiyya Deedat and her husband, soon after his death he was buried in silent without Post-mortem in Pakistan.

Zakiyya Deedat planed Ebrahim Deedat's death and she traveled to Pakistan. she give her son Fahad in Pakistan ans ask her father to visit her in Pakistan to see her new born child and when he come there she killed him buried him same evening after Ebrahim Deedat's Murder she come back to South Africa and never returned to Pakistan.

She Said to her friends she plan her father's murder to get share from family house in Verlum(South Africa) that house is also share owned by Yousf Ahmed Deedat as well, Zakiyya Deedat plan to take share from that house and relocate to Ireland and seek Asylum on the base that her Pakistani husband forced her for WIFE SWAPPING for over two years.

This is Muslim and islam...a Daughter Murdered father to get finance to relocate to Europe and log fake Asylum claim...





http://article.wn.com/view/2011/11/04/snake_bite_kills_deedat/



http://www.iol.co.za/thepost/news/snake-bite-kills-deedat-1.1171919#.U1G6eVeFq00

Answer 36

NO, PLEASE!