It depends on how you choose to identify Bahá’í beliefs: if you believe that the Bahá’í International Community of Haifa and ‘Akká (as it is known in Israel) headed by the Universal House of Justice on Mount Carmel constitutes the only valid form of the Bahá’í Faith and that this cannot under any circumstances be challenged or changed, and if you also interpret the Bahá’í Covenant (as do most mainstream Baha'is) as unswerving obedience and total submission to the Baha'i ecclesiastical authorities (the Universal House of Justice) then one must choose a life of chastity or pursue a life of affectional fulfillment outside of the normative Bahá’í community, which recognizes heterosexual marriage as the sole context for sexual activity (note that same-sex civil marriage is now legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Canada, Norway, Sweden, South Africa and Nepal, with many other countries ready to adopt it).
If however this is not what you choose to believe then there are other options available for you to choose from: Both the Tarbíyat Bahá’í Community and the Unitarian Bahá’í Fellowship welcome gay men and lesbians (both singles and couples) as members; these faith communities do not attempt to micromanage the lives of gays and lesbians through "counseling," "sanctioning" (disenrolling) or otherwise silencing them. See for example:
http://unitarianbahai.org/
"We find community in the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) ... the Unitarian Bahai Fellowship welcomes openly gay and lesbian people."
No excuses, rationalizations, justifications, explanations, qualifications, rebuttals, quibbles, or spiritual window dressing: they openly accept single and partnered gay men and lesbians. That's it, period.
In the words of former Catholic and well-known actress Anne Hathaway: "The whole family converted to Episcopalianism after my elder brother came out. Why should I support an organization that has a limited view of my beloved brother?"
All *accredited* American medical and psychological institutions agree there's no medical, psychological, or social reason to believe that sexual conduct between persons of the same sex is immoral or unhealthy. That includes the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Psychoanalytic Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the National Association of Social Workers to name only a few. Only religious dogmatists think it immoral.
It would be wrong to assume that Bahá’u’lláh (the prophet-founder of the Bahá’í Faith) failed to mention homosexuality due to his ignorance of such matters. In his Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Most Holy Book), Bahá’u’lláh explicitly forbade pederasty, but Shoghí Effendí, the Guardian of the Baha’i Faith, is presumed to have interpreted this (in a letter written on his behalf [not all of which letters were as carefully scrutinized as one is often told they were]) to imply a general prohibition on all forms of homosexual activity. He did not, however, wish Bahá’ís to treat the words written by his secretaries as possessed of the same authority as his own letters: they are authoritative for the person to whom they are addressed in the situation in question, but they were not intended to establish general principles universally applicable to particular situations.
Gays and lesbians who wish to self-identify as Bahá’í without living in the closet or allowing, accepting, condoning, or enabling toxic, abusive, disrespectful, non-honoring attitudes and behaviors to continue now have at least one truly viable alternative to choose from (the Unitarian Bahá’í Fellowship), should they wish to do so. The choice is entirely theirs to make. Those who knowingly choose to join a religious organization or faith community which teaches that the only acceptable form of sexual expression is within heterosexual marriage bear the full responsibility for their choice.