that is because you do not have eyes to see or ears to hear, so it is understandable to a christian why you would not.
the light is in the truth and the love of the man who died for you so that you can have forgiveness, someday you will see the error in your ways and will need forgiveness, he will be there for you just as he is now, and then you will know light, truth and love. don't give up on yourself, I won't give up on you.
I would not like to see you go to hell for disbelief, and I don't like seeing you mock and insult Christ, however, I do know that there is a day in your life where you will know desolation and pain and anguish and you will need someone, and it will be then that you will realize that Christ has been with you all along, even in your unbelief
It will be then that you will kneel in deep contrition and open your heart to him and find out what you have been missing.
God deals with everyone differently and sometimes we have to sink to the lowest point in life to have him reach way down and lift us up. that is light, dearheart, that is love. that is what you are refusing to become a part of your life, ever wonder why things are so hard and so bad for you. well now you know and you will grasp the answer for yourself someday, hopefully soon.