Can a hindu girl... and a white guy marry without being judged..?

Question

ok... well im just 16, but i wanted to ask this before anything were to happen. ok... well im starting to like this white guy. and im Hindu.. my mom raised me with "you cant marry outside your religion, you'd get dissowned by your grandpa and ect" well shes not married anymore, she had an arranged marrige and about 6 years ago, when i was 10 my parents got a divorce, my mom is strict, really strict, i have no phone. and im barley aloud on my e-mail. i was born and raised in the u.s she was born in england and moved here at age 14. she has always told me to marry inside our relms. never out. and i told her i liked this guy and she went all out. im living in a town where the population is about 7000 and the hindu that live there are about 4 families, the rest are awseome hispanics and whites, few african americans. but all my school knows me, becasue i am the only hindu in the whole high school. well.. im really startin to like him.. and im afraid my mom will lose trust in me if i tell her about him again. why are hindus not aloud to marry out side of thier religion? and why will i get judged if i do? and will i really get diowned...?
please and thanks to everyone that answeres. and F.Y.I im a rocker. im trying to be formal and grow up to my moms standards, but im not good enough... at all...

Answer 1

Hindus are aloud to get married outside of their religion.I am very religious and so is my aunt and she is getting married to a person who is not Hindu...he is not Indian either.They both believe in the own religions very much and they love each other.That is what counts.I hostestly think you will not be disowned.I think this an aspect your mom sees in Hinduism and it is ok because that is what she believes but again, i don't think you will be disowned.To the matter of being judged,God will not judge any person for anything but in this world, there are people(i am not saying everyone) have the habit of judgingbut who are they to judge your life?No one, right.

Remember this,everyone has the right to marry who they want to.Just make sure the person you love, you truly love that person.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Love transcends any worldy "religion", so in my opinion do what you think is right, as I know that Vishnu and all your's and my buddies up there think it's okay....except maybe Indra, but he's a jerk. Even if society, and possibly even your own family, may judge you, then that is their problem. Your happiness shouldn't be forsaken for human society's norms. Also, as for him being white, I'm white too yet I probably know more about Hinduism than most practicing Hindus. Believe me, I have seen many Christian parents tell their children to only marry other Christians, not Buddhists, Hindus, etc.---- nonsense!!! ------Finally (I'm going hoarse....eventhough I'm typing...) never say your not "good enough" just because you do not live up to certain standards. You are your own unique person and YOU can decide which standard(s) you wish to hold yourself to and which you think are best, nobody else should. Take care! ^_^

Answer 4

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Answer 5

whites are devils and have a bad history look at their divorce rates at an all time high, you want to marry a white devil then forget about your offspring because whites are going extinct and are poverty and a dead end road. look at history everything they took was stolen and they lie and deny it without hesitation they have no culture and are hated by the entire world the demographics is changing and there will be less whites so if you don't want to have hardships ahead of you and possibly killed by whites my suggestion is to stay away from them or else your kids growing up will go throught the oppression whites are going to soon face which us east Indians are dealing with today.keep in mind east Indian couples have the least divorce rates and there is many reasons behind it as they are similar culturally ethnically with foods they eat and they don't have melanoma and abnormalities like whites do with health complications cancer etc.

Answer 6

No, it's not a matter of you not being good enough...



Your mom moved to the US and had you. What did she expect? What's the largest racial group here: white people. Your school is filled with them, your town is filled with them, your TV and radio are filled with them. It's only natural you'd end up going for white people. My roommate is Chinese-American and her mom did the same thing... wanting her to marry a Chinese boy and all that... but her bf is white.



Hindu culture seems to be pretty insular about this sort of thing. I worked with an Indian-American girl who had a HUGE crush on me and we'd hang out, but we never dated because she was afraid - mortified - of how her family would react (i.e., disowning her). My roommate's boyfriend's sister married an Indian guy whose family is Hindu and his family never supported them... they ended up eloping and his parents still hate her.



It's a shame, and I don't know; maybe you could level with your mom. Maybe she'll take you more seriously when you're older. I know my roommate eventually whittled her mom down with years of not-dating Asian guys, maybe the same would work for you. At the very least, you could always just wait until you're going to college or university and away from home and just date then.



Or, do what I did: date behind your parents' back.

Answer 7

whites telling us to finish school? HAAHAHAHAHAHAA what a JOKE! truth is our people are smart and not stupid like you white people so quit giving us your retarded speech and pep talk when our country invented the first university in the entire world. oh and heed your own advice as most whites are uneducated freebasing crack and skipping school and are dumb as f! you people smart then how come you didnt stay in Europe? how come you stole from Indians and aboriginals? GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR WHITE BS! whites are hereditary to cancer and are leeches on the planet who have recessive genetics and all sorts of abnormalities and are disgusting . why do whites blister lack vitamin d and get shingles and melanoma? why do white people have the highest divorce rates and are infidels who are alimony golddiggers who have self entitlement so they can sue anyone over stupid crap! why do whites want to decriminalize prostitution? you white people are everything negative in society to what we try to teach our children not to be

Answer 8

Depends on where, marriage is complicated in Hindi tradition, as your well aware. One might ask, what caste is he, if any? What is his social standing, and how well is he following his darma? Race, is not the issue, but the religion is indeed. If your parents disaprove and you end up marrying him THAT will most likely be judged. However, he can live a hindu approved lifestyle without technically being hindu. That may be enough to satisfy your family, as he would be fullfilling his dharma.



One's dharma depends in part by their caste, find out if this system can be applied to him, and if so where he falls in it. If he is of a lower caste than you your family will never aprove. If higher, you as a woman would inherit his caste, and thus have improved yourself. This could very well meet with aproval.

Answer 9

white people have a obsession to ruin other races religions ,it is a proven fact..im glad the lord made it possible where white people are declining . we are extremely sick and tired of you pests trying to govern the world and change other races beliefs and ways of life. our ways of life is sacred and is a hell of allot better than yours. you don't like the way you live then go back to Europe but quit speaking on our behalf and trying to pester colored people when we don't like your ways your ideologies and pushing our people to assimilate with you . why didn't whites assimilate to native aboriginals? funny how the shoe doesn't fit the other foot. if something aint broken don't try to fix it as the saying goes. we are content with the way we live and don't need you xenophobic miserable twits telling us anything. be fortunate you are on internet as india made it possible with the mathematics and number zero making it possible for you to rant on internet. you whites don't like the truth but I will tell it like it is.

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry about being judged by people outside your community. I suspect the reason your mum wants you to marry 'inside' is because it's easier culturally. If you have kids in the future...u probably don't want to think about that now! but I guess it just makes it easier. I knew a strict Hindu girl who went out with a Muslim and she really thought he was the one. It turned out after 6 months he just wanted to 'explore' elsewhere and heartlessly dumped her. She was exactly your age. My advice is not to 'fall' for a guy till your sure. Your so young..and as for rock music..there's a lot worse..enjoy it.

Answer 11

You're 16. Finish school.



You may indeed be disowned if you do get married outside your religion. You have to decide what's worth it.



People get judged all the time. When someone learns to deal with judgment and criticism, that's when a person really becomes an adult.

Answer 12

It's actually an excellent question

Answer 13

Well, I have no problem with it.



Families can be difficult to deal with, but there are plenty of people in wider society who think you should be free to make your own choices that make you happy, and good luck with it! However, do try to finish school and get an education you can make use of later.



If someone asked you a similar question, what would you recommend?

Answer 14

Do what ever makes you happy. Religion is nothing more than a method of controlling others and taking away your choices. If it gets in the way of living your life and causes you to suffer then it is wrong. Your grandfather would not be much of a man if he disowned you and if this were the case you should not be bothered by him.

Answer 15

That's like asking if a catholic girl can marry a Native American guy.

'White' is not a religion.

You really should ask an official of your religion about it, if you're serious.

Answer 16

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Answer 17

I'm in the exact same situation. I'm Hindu, that's how I was raised too. But my parents say if they approve or its true love, i can marry whomever i choose. Its not against our religon, just our parents dont like it. Love whoever you want marry whoever you want.....as long as you truly love them. If your Mom wants you to be happy, and really loves you, talk to her about it and she'll let you. You might be judged but like i said, if you love them, your welcome to love them! (email me some time :-) i dont meet many other hindus!)

Answer 18

You're almost an adult. Naturally, you should be entitled to make your own choices in life, including who you wish to marry. You ultimately control your future, not mommy.



Don't let rigid and conservative traditions prevent you from making important life choices. But more importantly, don't let archaic traditions prevent you from being happy.



This isn't India. This is America, the land of the free. You have the freedom to choose things for yourself.

Answer 19

You're mother should be proud sweet and patient her daughter is...



I think this is just one of those things where you need to talk to your mother about it for a while. It'll take a lot of convincing, but if she loves you, she'll start to understand.



I'm not Hindu, so I don't know why you can't marry outside of your religion.

But I know about 3 Hindu girls and one Hindu boy dating people outside their religion. And no one's ever judged them by it.

Answer 20

I can't speak for your family. The rest depends on the people around you - the society at large. If you're in the U.S., it happens pretty often, and nobody thinks twice about it.

Answer 21

All that really matters is what you want. You have to live your own life and not allow others to live it for you. I would say go for it or you may regret it later in your life. Who knows, maybe one day your family will accept him, maybe not, what matters is that you and him accept each other. Good Luck!!

Answer 22

you can marry without being judged by me. some people will always judge you, but the trick is not to pay any attention to them.



do anything you like, as long as it doesn't hurt others.

Answer 23

judged by God no... by the rest of the world yes