ever since i was a kid my mother would always say "Jay you have a plan, God wants you too do great things and you are". i accecpt that, but im questioning it now beacuse the past two years life has gone directly to hell, foreclosure, no money, living in a hotel hoping a apartment comes through, no job (not even close) i've worked so hard, been to church and all of that and God has yet to speak to me. i am not perfect not by a mile ive done wrong, so is this punishment for something that i've done in the past? is the a direct result of my sin that i asked to be forgiven of? i dont do drugs, i ddont hurt people i try and i try to make a better life for myself but when i turn around God is nowhere to be found and im starting to get really pissed at him. i have gone so far as to call him a lier, and bastard who does not care about his people, im so sick of praying and trusting in him. my mother keeps tallkking to me about him, and sometimes i just get so fed up im like "i dont want to hear about him anymore" im just so sick of everything, im tired of living the life of a non-ambitious crackhead when i hustle 10x harder than most people. people think im lazy beacuse i have nothing to show for it. i really want to trust God like i used to but i cannot give him anymore than what i have given him, what more does he want? im tired and stressed and dont think i can make it another day with him seemingly punishing me for something i dont know of, ive asked him and gotten no answer as to why im being punised. what am i doing wrong?