I hope you experience enlightenment. i have been buddhist for over 43-years, since 1971-1972. it is a lifetime of faith, practice, and study to fulfill the enlightenemnt of your own life, to awaken your own buddha nature.
i have have never regreated practicing buddhism: i practice nichiren shoshu temple. (nst). http://www.nstmyohoji.org/About.aspx
Kangyo-soku is one of the six stages of practice in the perfect teaching. It means that one does as he speaks and speaks as he does.
http://nichiren.info/gosho/LesseningKarmicRetribution.htm
=================
A single character of the Lotus Sutra is like the great earth, which gives rise to all things. A single character is like the great ocean, which contains the water from all rivers. A single character is like the sun and moon, which illuminate all four continents.
This single character changes and [becomes the moon. The moon changes and] becomes a Buddha. Rice plants change and become seedlings. Seedlings change and become stalks. Stalks change and become rice. Rice changes and becomes a person. And a person changes and becomes a Buddha. A woman changes and becomes the single character myo. The character myo changes and becomes Shakyamuni Buddha seated on a lotus pedestal. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
Reply to Onichi-nyo
http://www.nichirenlibrary.org/en/wnd-1/Content/158#para-3
=================
Question: Is there a True Law that was not propagated even by T'ien-t'ai and Dengyo?
Answer: Yes, there is.
Question: What sort of teaching is it?
Answer: It consists of three things. It was left behind by the Buddha for the sake of those who live in the Latter Day of the Law. It is the True Law that was never propagated by Mahakashyapa or Ananda, Ashvaghosha or Nagarjuna, T'ien-t'ai or Dengyo.
Question: What form does it take?
Answer: First, in Japan and all the other countries throughout the world, the object of worship should in all cases be the Lord Shakyamuni of True Buddhism. The Shakyamuni Buddha and Taho Buddha who appear in the Treasure Tower, as well as all other Buddhas, along with the four bodhisattvas including Jogyo, shall act as attendants to this Buddha. Second, there is the high sanctuary of True Buddhism. Third, in Japan, China, India and all the other countries of the world, every person, regardless of whether he is wise or foolish, shall set aside other practices and join in the chanting of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. This teaching has never been taught before. Here in the world, in all the 2,225 years since the passing of the Buddha, not a single person chanted it. Nichiren alone, without sparing his voice, now chants Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
The size of the waves depends upon the wind that raises them, the height of the flames depends upon how much firewood is piled on, the size of the lotuses depends upon the pond in which they grow, and the volume of rain depends upon the dragons that make it fall. The deeper the roots, the more prolific the branches. The farther the source, the longer the stream.
The Chou dynasty lasted for seven hundred years because of the propriety and filial devotion of its founder, King Wen. The Ch'in dynasty, on the other hand, lasted hardly any time at all, because of the perverse ways of its founder, the First Emperor of the Ch'in. If Nichiren's compassion is truly great and encompassing, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo will spread for ten thousand years and more, for all eternity, for it has the beneficial power to open the blind eyes of every living being in the country of Japan, and it blocks off the road that leads to the hell of incessant suffering. Its benefit surpasses that of Dengyo and T'ien-t'ai, and is superior to that of Nagarjuna and Mahakashyapa.
A hundred years of practice in the Land of Perfect Bliss cannot compare to the benefit gained from one day's practice in this impure world. Two thousand years of propagating Buddhism during the Former and Middle Days of the Law are inferior to an hour of propagation in this, the Latter Day of the Law. This is in no way because of Nichiren's wisdom, but simply because the time makes it so. In spring the blossoms open, in autumn the fruit appears. Summer is hot, winter is cold. The season makes it so, does it not?
"In the fifth five hundred years after my death, accomplish worldwide kosen-rufu and never allow its flow to cease. And do not allow the devil, the devil's people, or the deities, dragons, yakshas, kumbhandas or their kind to seize the advantage."
If [the Buddha's prophecy expressed in] this passage of the Lotus Sutra should prove to be in vain, then Shariputra will never become the Flower Light Tathagata, the Venerable Mahakashyapa will never become the Light Bright Tathagata, Maudgalyayana will never become the Tamalapattra Sandalwood Fragrance Buddha, Ananda will never become the Mountain Sea Wisdom Unrestricted Power King Buddha, the nun Mahaprajapati will never become the Beheld with Joy by All Sentient Beings Buddha, and the nun Yashodhara will never become the Form Resplendent with Ten Million Lights Buddha. All the talk of sanzen-jintengo is then likewise mere nonsense, and gohyaku-jintengo, too, is a lie. Very likely the Lord Shakyamuni has fallen into the hell of incessant suffering, Taho Buddha is gasping amid the flames of the Avichi Hell, the Buddhas of the ten directions have their home now in the eight major hells, and all the various bodhisattvas are being forced to suffer in the 136 hells.
But how could such a thing ever be? Since the [LOTUS SUTRA] sutra's prediction was not made in vain, then it is certain that all the people of Japan will chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo!
Thus the flower will return to the root, and the essence of the plant will remain in the earth. The benefit that I have been speaking of will surely accumulate in the life of the late Dozen-bo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
Written on the twenty first day, seventh month of the second year of Kenji (1276),
Jupiter in the cyclical sign hinoe-ne.
Respectfully sent from Mount Minobu, Hakiri Village, in Koshu, to Joken-bo and Gijo-bo of Mount Kiyosumi, district of Tojo, province of Awa.
Cover Letter
I have received your letter. One should never speak of matters pertaining to the Buddhist doctrine to someone who has no faith, regardless of whether the person is a close friend or relation or a stranger. This is something you should keep in mind.
I have inscribed the Gohonzon for you. Even more in the years after the passing of the Buddha than during his lifetime, even more during the Middle Day of the Law than during the Former Day, and even more now in the beginning of the Latter Day of the Law than during the Middle Day, the enemies of this Lotus Sutra are bound to grow in power. If you understand this, you as well as anyone else will realize that there is no one in Japan other than myself who is a true votary of the Lotus Sutra.
A sketchy report of the death of Dozen-bo reached me last month. I felt that I should go in person as quickly as possible, as well as sending the priest who bears this letter, Niko. However, though I do not think of myself as one who has retired from the world, other people seem to look at me in that way, and so I make it a rule not to leave this mountain.
This priest Niko informed me of private reports from various people that there are likely to be doctrinal debates with the other sects in the near future. I have therefore been sending people to a number of temples in the different provinces in order to search out sutras and doctrinal writings from all over the country. I had sent this priest Niko on such a mission to the province of Suruga, and he has just now returned [so I am sending him with this letter].
In the enclosed treatise, I have written matters of the utmost gravity. It would be wrong, therefore, to make the contents known to persons who do not understand the essence of Buddhism. And even if they are make known only to persons who do, if there are too many people involved, then word of the contents is likely to reach the ears of outsiders. That would not be conducive to your welfare, nor to mine.
Therefore, I ask that just the two of you, you and Gijo-bo, have the work read aloud two or three times at the summit of Kasagamori, with this priest Niko to do the reading. Please have him read it once before the grave of the late Dozen-bo as well. After that, leave it in the possession of Niko and have him read it to you repeatedly.