Question:
Wondering Agnostic?
jfluterpicc_98
2008-01-06 20:45:13 UTC
My reasoning for asking this question is that I'm just looking for some information about peoples' experiences. To be honest, I'm agnostic, although I was baptised and attended a Roman Catholic church when I was younger (not by choice). This past year, I've started playing in a praise band for a contemporary service at a local church. I've been doing this to earn some extra money as a musician, to have a chance to meet new people, and to get some insight on the questions I have about God.

For those who do believe in Jesus and God--when did you first seriously believe in their prescense? Do you remember how old you were and what you were doing at the time? What was the feeling like? Did you find them on your own, or were the beliefs installed in you from your family when you little? Were there times in which you questioned their exhistance or even got totally p.o'ed at them (even swearing at them outloud)?

I know it's a bunch of questions, but please answer honestly.
Eight answers:
Nikki M
2008-01-06 21:12:45 UTC
You seem legitimately curious, so I'll answer honestly.



I am 22 years old. Both of my parents, as well as my two siblings, are agnostic. Several events in my life led me to become extremely depressed during my teenage years. I became involved in many self-destructive behaviors. I attempted suicide at age 18, and by age 19, had decided to end my life in a more "foolproof" way. As I was headed toward my planned destination, I passed by an Episcopal church and felt drawn inside. Two priests who were working in the church office saw me enter the sanctuary and came to talk to me. They spent over five hours counseling me, and this led to my decision to become a Christian. Since that time, my life has changed dramatically for the better.



My story is a very unusual one. My family, and some of my friends, believe it was the personal connection that saved me -- maybe I could have walked into a Wal-Mart and had the same experience. I do feel like something changed in my heart that day, though, and when I pray and read the Bible, I feel a presence come into my heart and mind that I believe is the spirit of God. I was desperate, so I made the leap of faith. The "leap of faith" is the most difficult part to understand. It's a personal decision to believe in something that, on the surface, defies logic and explanation. However, the change in my personality, attitude, and level of happiness is undeniable.



In the past, I toyed with the idea of the existence of God, and rejected it because it didn't seem to make sense. There are so many different religions, and who's to say that one is true and the rest are false? For the most part, though, I think I've always believed -- at some level -- in the existence of a supreme being. When terrible things would happen to me, I would curse God and be angry at Him -- which implies that I believed in Him the whole time. As I've learned more, though, I've gained a greater understanding of the vast mystery that is God. Just as we, as humans, cannot truly comprehend the different lifeforms that may exist in the universe, we are unable to fully understand God and the way He works. We may put Him in human terms -- an old, bearded man, or a "father" figure -- but God is a huge mystery.



I just truly believe that I would be dead if I didn't happen to walk into that church that day.



To any agnostics/atheists out there who would like to criticize or condemn me, be my guest. I once thought the way you do. I don't have any desire to criticize or condemn anybody. Have an open mind, though. As a former agnostic, I totally understand how crazy and moronic it all sounds. However, given the choice to become the person I was, or to stay the person I am, I'd choose the latter.
andybosik
2008-01-07 05:00:08 UTC
I will try to make this brief if possible!

I too was raised Catholic as a child.

My Brother and I were forced to go to Catholic School were we were hit by the Nuns.

The Catholic Church turned us off to Christianity as a result of all the bad things we went through.

I figured, "If that is what Christianity is about, I don't need it!" I got into all kinds of drugs and became an outlaw biker.

At 16, I was the youngest member of an outlaw Motorcycle Gang. I continued in this lifestyle well into my early 20's. A friend who I went to HighSchool with, became a Christian and started inviting me to Church. He was persistent, but not pushy.

At first I turned him down every time because I had

this bad impression of what I thought Christianity was. Finally one day, I agreed to attend a Christian Rock Concert in SanJose with my friend.

When we arrived there, I saw people "Worshipping God, in Spirit and in Truth". I could tell that people were

there, not because Mommy and Daddy dragged them there against their will(like I had experienced in the Catholic Church) but because they WANTED to be there! The people seemed to be genuinely happy to

be there! What a concept! This impressed me, even though at the time, I thought it was a little weird! HeeHee!

When the Concert was over, my friend had left me by myself while he went to say "Hi!" to some people he

recognized. As I stood there all alone, not knowing anybody, feeling very shy, a big red-headed, red-bearded,

man by the name of "Burk BurkHeart"(what a name eh?) walked right-up to me, and the first thing he said to me was "Hi! do You know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"(he didn't waste any time did he?)

My reply was, "I don't think so!". Then He said, "Well would You like to?" I replied"I guess!".

Then he said"Praise the Lord! let's Pray!" We prayed, and then he cried,

and was so excited,

but I had no idea what I was in-for!

That was back in the 80's.

Since then, the LORD has miraculously delivered me from cocaine addiction and HE has changed my life for the better in every way!

I could tell much more, but it would be a book!
Jessie
2008-01-07 04:59:55 UTC
The first instinct I had that there was something more than this life, I was about 5 years old,,,, and I could remember crying so badly in room, saying " I didint want to do this,or I changed my mind, and I wanted to go home" ( even though i was in my house). I said it for years when i would get upset, unitll i got used to it and the feeling went away, I know it sounds weird but its true.I went to a catholic school afterwards, and some of the things they said to me sounded just rediculious. I truely think no one can tell us who God is, and that we have to find out for ourselves. Im happy i remember those times, because i new I believed in something before I had any influence put on me.
raven
2008-01-07 05:28:51 UTC
You're phrasing indicates doubt, despite your background and recent Christian involvement. Very normal for intelligent, thinking people.



Though I am a non-believer (and so for many years), you are on a quest. A journey. A path.



This is a good thing.



Keep your mind and eyes wide open.



Without detailing my journey, although your two paragraphs shadow my experiences, your questions indicate your destination.



Again...keep your mind and eyes wide open.



It's never wrong to do the right thing. If you believe that, and you do it on your own, is there further need for question?



All the best to you on your journey.
Bob L
2008-01-07 04:54:09 UTC
Biographies are listed in a different section of Y A
2008-01-07 04:49:36 UTC
That question is far too intellectual and grammatically correct for 90% of the Y!A community, and 97% of the R&S section specifically. You'd be better off asking the people you know in real life.
jojo
2008-01-07 05:03:03 UTC
q1. After a miracle occurred in my life

q2. yes i remember how old i was and what i was doing.

q3. un-enuncible Joy.

q4. They found me.

q5. i have never, since salvation, questioned their existence.

q6. i have never been "p.o'ed" at them.



Total Honesty!
C. Atkinson (aka gusgus)
2008-01-07 05:43:15 UTC
You may not like it but I started believing in them when I was little because my parents taught me. However, it was because my parents taught me to pray that I began to feel the love, peace, joy, guidance, and comfort in return.



Many would scoff at me, but I have actually recieved direct answers that are beyond denial. These helped me in my youth to stay faithful but I still had my doubts.



Much of the attitude of my parents helped me approach religion and my understanding of God, and only through time have I learned much for myself and come to appreciate that what they taught me actually is the truth.



I don't blame you for being upset sometimes, but when you start in your beliefs you need to realize that in the begginning your motives aren't going to be as pure as you had hoped. If you want to know God, then don't bite the hand that feeds you. A loving parent does everything in their power to teach their children to obtain the true joys of life, yet if a child outrightly rejects everything from the parent then how can the child come to know its loving father or mother? The same is true with god.



I would give you this peace of advice. In an existence where joy and pain, love and hate, etc... exist, trust that the greatest things, those which are good rule over all. Otherwise, pain would not allow joy to interrupt its dominion, light would not be allowed to penetrate the darkness at a whim, and love could never find place to enter our hearts. Happiness is the design of our existance, yet to exist as we do means we must have choice. To think and to act requires choices, otherwise we could not "taste" the sweet because we had never known bitterness. To fully appreciate joy, one must appreciate the price to obtain it, just as with peace, a universal ideal among humans that many have paid dearly for, and our generation takes for granted.



When wanting proof for everything realize that science deals with the senses and relies on them. Yet science does not come close to explaining WHY we feel, why we sense, and above all why we have emotion, yet we know these things are real. Science cannot explain the identity of the soul, and even if they should find some neural network to label conciousness it simply does not explain the innate fact that we exist and what we feel matters, and that for some reason we can feel (utimately what is feeling what).



I will also give you this analogy as one who believes in God and Jesus Christ.



I was thinking about it today actually. Suppose you knew someone who grew up in the middle of Saudia Arabia or some completely desolate region devoid of trees and rain and had never experienced either. Think of the sound of rustling leaves in the wind, or the quiet roar of countless raindrops falling to earth. Now try making those sounds accurately just by using your voice. Despite your best efforts, and a almost tangible knowledge of those two sounds you could never give your friend that experience by simply relating it with your meager vocal chords.



Well, in a feeble way I tell you that God does exist, and that Jesus Christ is His Son.



In a universe full of the often bitter equations, and demands of natural law, God (the overseer and Lord of all) sent His Son to provide a way for us to fully enjoy our existance, and grow and conquer over our struggles. Jesus Christ is the answer to the infinite costs and demands of nature as only God could calculate and pay. He has allowed us the opportunity to learn to experience and to seek after good things, if we so desire them. But rest assured He lives, and makes it possible to be truly happy. It isn't easy, but I know from experience it is possible, and worth it.



He lives, and you are his child. How can I prove it or completely describe it? I cannot, but I know you can experience it for yourself because I have experienced it and so have millions upon millions of others. (sounds kinda like the scientific method...funny huh...)



A song I know goes thus:



"Heavenly Father, are you really there?

And do you hear and answer every childs prayer?

Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray.

Heavenly Father, I remember now, something that Jesus told disciples long ago.

'Suffer the children to come to me'

Father in prayer I'm coming now to Thee."

"Pray, he is there, speak, he is listening,

you are his child, his love now surrounds you.

He hears your prayer, he loves the children, of such is the kingdom of Heaven."



What more can I say besides keep an open mind and seek out the best things, the things that are good simply because they are self evidently so.



If you so desire, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I would offer this link as a place to visit in your search. This site provides concise overviews of my own beliefs, consider them along with any others you encounter if you so desire.



God loves us, and will allow all of us the opportunity to come to know Him, so don't be afraid to look, listen, taste, and learn. Choose the good things.



www.mormon.org


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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