I am lost, how do I find my way out of the mist?

Question

I am 45 what do I do now?
My question says it all! I have raised my family the only thing I have ever really cared about. I do not have any career I can devote myself too. I have if anything to much education for my employment opportunities at this point in life. in short I just feel done. I am trying to get motivated about something, anything and can not do it. I have had a hobby that I have loved since I was 10 and even that holds no interest for me! Any ideas on what to do and more specifically how to do it?

Answer 1

You are not alone, and it isn't too late. I've been there, and it's the worst feeling.



Hear me out: How about you go to church this Sunday with an open heart. Even if you don't believe in God, treat this situation as if you have nothing to lose. Invite Him into your heart; ask Him to reveal himself to you.



If you think about it, you really don't have anything to lose (that's how I looked at it). Everything fell into place for me ever since. My feelings of emptiness turned into purpose and peace. Ever since I met God, I am the happiest I have ever been; a new world has been opened up to me. The same can be for you. God bless.

Answer 2

I am going through a similar struggle so I know how difficult this can be. I have several different possible moves on your part. It seems from your question you don't want to just give up and declare life meaningless. You loved your family and now the kids are grown-not sure what happened with your spouse. First idea-you could be depressed could use therapy and medication. Second idea-this is a spiritual existential crisis. Find a spiritual counselor, guru, minister, or priest. If you are spiritual but not religious a Unitarian church or logo therapist could help. Idea number three-even though you have lost interest in your hobby go to a class, group or other place where people of shared interests gather. Lastly you could try Landmark Education Forum or other education. It helped me get unstuck and create a life of possibility that moves and inspires me. Finally there is a saying from buddhism that "when the student is ready the teacher shows up." A spiritual guide will show up if you work on you-meditate, pray, study and do service to others and the way will open to you. Good luck. I hope you move through this difficult but exciting period where you can find what truly matters to you.

Answer 3

Read, travel, take up a talent like music or painting or drawing, learn wood working, go back to school, get into an exercise routine, question reality, learn about yourself and the human condition, take up gardening, donate time to a worthy cause, join a book club, take up dancing, go hunting/camping. I'm sure there are many other similar suggestions. And don't just do one of them, pick several. Start by forcing yourself to spend a little time on them each day. Drop the ones that don't appeal to you and add some new ones. At some point, set some goals. Most importantly stop worrying and moping and get out there and enjoy life. Force yourself, it will get easier the more you do it.

Answer 4

Some things seem gray and boring. My older brother once observed about a painting that was depicting people going to work in a gray kind of setting as being in error.



He pointed out that it is actually something to appreciate when one may say that one is bored - if the reason is that one has a secure job and secure paycheck.



Perhaps you should try to adjust your attitude - I know that is hard - I surely need to adjust mine, and have a hard time doing it now and then. Think about the things you can now do, that you have the skill to do! Study more if you like; expand your math skills, your language skills (study a foreign language, it can be fun when done as a hobby), read some good novels, go exercising: bicycling, walking, listen to some nice music while reading or studying, learn to bake bread (I have just perfected a sourdough wholewheat bread that is making me happy for its taste and health reasons).

Answer 5

Lol at all the funny answers! As for religion - I heard "Practice what you are involved in. Really practice it yourself. Read all the books on your own. Don't listen to others."



However you don;t need to worry about the above if you don't belong to an 'organized religion'!



Personally when I was in a similar situation I got Anthony Robbins - Get The Edge. It worked for me.



That and books on spirituality - and lots of physical exercise and fun!



Kind people always help, and so do animals! :)

Answer 6

Now is your chance to make up for lost time. Get out and do the stuff you couldn't when you had the kids depending on you. I'm in your position, my wife died years ago, my children have grown up and I'm as free as a bird. Often on the spur of the moment, I travel overseas to work for a few years. I'm going home later this year, then I will travel around the country on one of my motorcycles and work part time. Now is the time to think of yourself and enjoy life

Answer 7

Now you have something you care about make life better for them by getting the job of your dreams go to university or college and try and get out there you will also make new friends here and it is fun and educational

Answer 8

Hmmm.... Well, this is a dilemma.



Well, it sounds as if you have a void in your heart/soul. My suggestions: 1) Find a spiritual path that you can follow with all your heart. 2) Share your hobby, inspire someone(s) to enjoy it as much as you do. 3) As for employment, well I may have an op. for you, if you are interested. E-mail me if you are.

Answer 9

They say they can't teach an old dog new tricks.

That is silly logic in my mind. You sound like you are experiencing the mid-life crisis.

Perhaps it is time for something new, find something that you can enjoy. I found learning to be my favourite. Learn something new everyday, be it something as simple as the reason we use a certain metal in a coin.



This quest for knowledge is fun.



I hope you feel better, good luck.

Answer 10

Have you tried hookers and sports cars?

As far as the hobby you've had since you were ten...you better stop or your palms will get hairy and you'll go blind.



I remember my dad starting a quest at about your age to find the best buffett and to watch all of the episodes of Matlock.

Answer 11

Tequila

Answer 12

Fly a kite

Answer 13

You are depressed. See a professional, get some medication.

Answer 14

By a compass and a road map.

Answer 15

Try new things

Answer 16

Whatever you do, don't get in the truck with Thomas Jane...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHQVlk8Qohc&feature=fvw

Answer 17

God.

Also music. Music and God are the most important things. God more so obviously.

Answer 18

abandon religion.



them mists will clear right up.