Question:
please just serious people?
Shalom
2008-04-20 11:32:28 UTC
Someone serious tell me how i can get rid of sexual thoughts. I have a dirty mind, and sexual desires makes me stop doing important things to masturbate myself and watch porn videos. I can't stand it anymore. I have so many tasks to do and I can't do it right now because of my dirty thoughts.

Two years ago I was addicted to gambling but now I'm healed. I overcame a lot of addictions in my life but I think I'm not strong enough to overcome my sexual desires. What do you think about it? I need help. Please don't think I'm kidding because I'm not.

If you think you have something helpful to write about it, please don't hesitate to give me your answer.

Thank you.
23 answers:
anonymous
2008-04-20 11:35:15 UTC
Remove your reproductive organs. It's the most effective way of stopping sexual thoughts.





Thinking about sex is natural. There's nothing wrong with it.
Fred Bauder
2008-04-20 11:57:23 UTC
I'd lose the porn videos, they excite sexual desire and cause you to masturbate more than you otherwise would. Don't buy them or log on to porn sites. If that doesn't work, try rationing yourself, say to one day a week, maybe Sunday afternoon. If its costing more money then you want to spend, try a good free site like yuvutu It's still nasty, but it doesn't run up your credit card bill, so long as you don't start clicking offsite to pay sites.



A note on virginity. Virginity made sense in a world where women got married when they were in their teens. Trying to be celibate for long periods of time is quite difficult. I will warn you on one point, once you start having sex, if it goes well (it often does not) there is no stopping it.
gaia_dianne
2008-04-20 11:57:56 UTC
Hi There --



Addictions don't just "go away" -- You evidently had an addiction to gambling, and you may be staying away from it now, but obviously, you've just transferred your addiction -- from gambling to sex.



Addictive personalities don't just "give up" addictions. And it's not a matter of being "strong" enough, or having "enough willpower" --



Addicts can and will go from one addiction to another, seeking to fill the "holes" in their spirits/ minds/ hearts with whatever seems like it might do the job -- but inevitably, they learn (as you have) that addictions just don't fill that hole, they make it worse.



You need to get treatment for your addictions - ALL of them, and most especially now, your sexual addiction; You need to learn about addictions and your addictive personality, and how it functions.



Check out your local area for treatment centers: you might ask your doctor, call your local Counseling Center, or do an internet search --



Here are some internet resources for you that may also help:



Sex Addicts Anonymous:

www.sexaa.org/



Sexual Addiction Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment: www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm



The term Sexual addiction is used to describe the behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or obsession with sex. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_addiction



Sex Addiction Recovery Resources:

www.sexaddict.com/





SexHelp.com - SASTThe Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST) is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior which may indicate the presence of sex ...

www.sexhelp.com/sast.cfm



Steps of Hope: A 12-Step Recovery Guide for Sex Addiction, by Douglas Weiss. ...

www.hq.nasa.gov/office/ospp/securityguide/Eap/Sex.htm



What Is Sexual Addiction? -psychcentral.com/lib/2006/what-is-sexual-addiction/



'Dateline NBC': Battling sexual addiction - www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4302347/



Sexual addiction has many different forms: compulsive masturbation, sex with ... allpsych.com/journal/sexaddiction.html





www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/Sexual-Addiction.htm





Book results for sex addiction:



a) Adolescent Sex and Love Addicts - by Eric Griffin Shelley - 192 pages



b) Sex and the Internet: A Guidebook for Clinicians - by Al Cooper - 308 pages



c) A Program of Recovery - by Sexual Compulsives Anonymous - 109 pages





PLease, get help -- You will be amazed at how much better things can be for you --



Blessings and Good Luck --

~Gaia
anonymous
2008-04-20 11:51:59 UTC
Rather than trying to controll the mind, divert it to some thing that u find interesting. It can be a hobby or just gain full materially.

If a thought comes, do not go further trying to chase it. The mind is like a small child who finds it fun to run away from u. I f u pretend to simply turn away, the child feel lost and in secure after some time and comes running back to u.Slowly depending in yr efforts, the thoughts will stop bullying u. Remember u r not yr thoughts nor yr mind. Yr mind belongs to u. U do not belong to yr mind. u r the pure soul trying to evolve otherwise u would not suffer from guilt and depression as a result of guilt.
Des
2008-04-20 11:42:50 UTC
Confess it to Jesus as sin and ask Him to purify your thought life. Every thought you have that is not pure, bring it immediately into subjection to Christ. Confess it and resist it immediately. Don't engage it even for a moment, or you will have become its victim again.

Jesus said if your right eye offends you, pluck it out. That doesn't mean you should literally pluck your eyes out, as you're aware the lust begins from within, but it means you should get rid of everything that tempts you. Take it serious.

Sexual sins are no laughing matter. They will tear you apart and ruin every relationship in your life. There are lots of Christian sex/porn addictions websites you can visit.
euhmerist
2008-04-20 11:42:11 UTC
If you had an another addiction but you say you're cured then I have to ask if you had even one alcoholic grandparent. If you did, you might have been born with a brain chemistry that is slightly amiss. Go to this site: www.radiantrecovery.com You need to make some dietary changes or you will just develop another addiction after this one.
truly
2008-04-20 11:44:07 UTC
It's natural to have sexual thoughts. If you weren't keeping yourself to after you're married to someone they probably wouldn't come as strong. So, my advice is: find a boyfriend and have sex with him. You may: a) Find that you like it as much as you thought (assuming that you think you like it a lot); b) Find that you like it but not as much as you thought; c) Find that you like it less than you thought. Anyway, you'll probably stop fantasizing that much in a while and not only you'll finally get pleasure from it (a shared pleasure) but also you'll feel you've been freed from an obsession. God has nothing against sex, it was He who made us this way, so by no means castrate yourself as some would like you to.



EDIT: Of course, my advice depends on how old you are...
DoxaPatri
2008-04-20 11:41:46 UTC
A lot of people struggle with this. I commend you for your sincerity and courage to ask for guidance.



I tell you that the most effective healing you can ever receive in this world, for any addiction whatsoever is the Blood and Body of Christ. Trust me. The Holy Eucharist is the most powerful weapon we have in this world.



I strongly urge you to pray to the Virgin Mary for guidance on how approach Holy Communion in a state of grace. Believe me, this is our hope, yours too.
NATCHIC
2008-04-20 11:41:30 UTC
If you have this type of desires and you are worried to get rid of them may be go for some other addiction like books.
Maria Isabel
2008-04-20 11:39:43 UTC
I think you need a little bit of therapy. It's nothing to worry too much about. Of course there's nothing wrong with sexual thoughts/pornography/masturbation but anything done to the extreme is harmful. I hope you get your life back in balance. Blessed Be.
anonymous
2008-04-20 11:38:12 UTC
Try using the rubber band thing and snap yourself when you start to get them.

Another thing is to get one of those athletic sleeves (i think that's what they are) or something somewhat tight to wear around your arm, and then whenever you get those thoughts or desires, change the arms it is on. Eventually, you'll get so sick of doing it that you'll stop yourself. A priest told his congregation to do this about whining and it seemed to work.
Ayeshers M
2008-04-20 11:37:50 UTC
Maybe try to distract yourself with some productive (no pun intended) activities.



Why don't you try baking or joining a martial arts class or something? Community centers are full of that kinda stuff.



Or. you could wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it whenever you get a dirty thought.
DA
2008-04-20 11:38:59 UTC
Please don't be too hard on yourself. Really, it's perfectly normal at a certain age. With time the body hormones do settle. This happens to all girls and boys even "good" girls. Masturbate if you wish to and don't knock yourself for the bad thoughts, but try to train your thoughts in a less bad direction if you can. If you can't, then at least you tried, so what.
:)
2008-04-20 11:38:23 UTC
Just pray that God takes away your sexual thoughts so that you can focus more on him. You may not be powerful enough to overcome this alone, but God is. :)

Hope I helped. Good luck! :)
Hodaya
2008-04-20 11:42:01 UTC
just try to restrict yourself from these thought.if you still havent got rid of them , you werent trying hard enough.
Iamnotarobot (former believer)
2008-04-20 11:39:24 UTC
Here's how - think of men as they actually are, not as idealized sexy people. Think of them in terms of stereotypical ways, like: they fart, want you to cook for them and do their laundry, get fat and lazy, and whine when they get sick. Get married and you will see how men actually are, and you might lose your sex drive!!! I am happy that my husband isn't actually like this, but use this as a tool to help yourself. That porn star will be an unemployed plumber with a beer belly in 8 years. Think he's still sexy now? :o)
Vee~
2008-04-20 11:38:17 UTC
Perhaps you have an addictive personality...get professional psychiatric help.



Largely, we on this forum are not truly qualified to answer many such questions pertaining to mental illness.
Apostle Jeff
2008-04-20 11:36:43 UTC
Replace it by reading the Word of God.
just curious (A.A.A.A.)
2008-04-20 11:45:27 UTC
try masturbation.
Dustin
2008-04-20 11:36:18 UTC
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com



free mentorship, they work you through a 60 day program and is very effective...take a look at it...after you complete the program successfully you can become a mentor...it's like SA or AA or NA







Edit:

How did 'Remove your reproductive organs' get more thumbs up than free mentorship and accountability? My goodness, what has society come to...?









hmmm..that's better
Donna
2008-04-20 11:36:29 UTC
Find a boyfriend.
Karenita
2008-04-20 11:35:24 UTC
Pray dear, Pray hard. I'll pray for you too.
Roadside confessions
2008-04-20 11:36:17 UTC
Many Christians struggle with this issue, especially in our highly technological world, but taking control of our thoughts is essential. Proverbs 4:23 states: " Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.." The “heart” includes the mind and all that proceeds from it. Someone said that every sin we commit, we commit twice, once in our thoughts and again when we act upon those thoughts. It is easiest to rid our lives of sin if we attack it at this fundamental thought level rather than waiting for it to become rooted in our lives by our actions and then try to pull it out.



There is also a difference between being tempted (a thought entering into the mind) and sinning (dwelling upon an evil thought and wallowing in it). It is important to understand that when a thought enters our mind, we examine it based upon God's Word and determine if we should continue down that path or reject the thought and replace it with another thought. If we have already allowed a habit to form in our thought lives, it becomes more difficult to change the path of our thoughts, even as it is hard to get a car out of a deep rut and onto a new track. Here are some biblical suggestions for taking control of our thoughts and getting rid of wrong thoughts:



1. Be in God's Word so that when a sinful thought enters our mind (a temptation), we will be able to recognize it for what it is and know what course to take. Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4) responded to each of Satan's temptations with Scripture that applied to the direction He knew His mind should take instead of beginning down the path of the sinful thought. When tempted to meet His physical need (turn stone into bread), He recited the passage about the importance of relying upon God. When tempted to serve Satan in order to obtain the glory of the world, He brought up the passage that says we are to serve and worship God alone and speak of the glory that belongs to Him and those who are His.



When tempted to test God (to see if God was really there and would keep His promises), Jesus responded with passages that stress the importance of believing God without having to see Him demonstrate His presence. Quoting Scripture in a time of temptation is not a talisman, but rather serves the purpose of getting our minds onto a biblical track, but we need to know the Word of God AHEAD of time in order to accomplish this. Thus, a daily habit of being in the Word in a meaningful way is essential. If we are aware of a certain area of constant temptation (worry, lust, anger, etc.), we need to study and memorize key passages that deal with those issues. Looking for both what we are to avoid (negative) and how we are to properly respond (positive) to tempting thoughts and situations—before they are upon us—will go a long way to giving us victory over them.



2. Live in dependence upon the Holy Spirit, chiefly through seeking His strength through prayer (Matthew 26:41). If we rely upon our own strength, we will fail (Proverbs 28:26; Jeremiah 17:9; Matthew 26:33).



3. We are not to feed our minds with that which will promote sinful thoughts. This is the idea of Proverbs 4:23. We are to guard your hearts—what we allow into them and what we allow them to dwell on. Job 31:1 states: "I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman" (NKJV). Romans 13:14 states, "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." Thus, we are to avoid periodicals, videos, websites, conversations and situations that will set us up for a fall. We should also avoid spending time with those who would encourage us down these wrong paths.



4. We are to pursue hard after God, substituting godly pursuits and mindsets for sinful thoughts. This is the principle of replacement. When tempted to hate someone, we replace those hateful thoughts with godly actions: we do good to them, speak well of them, and pray for them (Matthew 5:44). Instead of stealing, we should work hard to earn money so we can look for opportunities to give to others in need (Ephesians 4:28). When tempted to lust after a woman, we turn our gaze, praise God for the way He has made us—male and female—and pray for the woman (for example: "Lord, help this young woman to come to know you if she does not, and to know the joy of walking with you"), then think of her as a sister (1 Timothy 5:2). The Bible often speaks of "putting off" wrong actions and thoughts but then "putting on” godly actions and thoughts (Ephesians 4:22-32). Merely seeking to put off sinful thoughts without replacing those thoughts with godly ones leaves an empty field for Satan to come along and sow his weeds (Matthew 12:43-45).



5. We can use fellowship with other Christians the way God intended. Hebrews 10:24-25 state, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Fellow Christians who will encourage us in the changes we desire (best if of the same gender), who will pray for and with us, who will ask us in love how we are doing, and who will hold us accountable in avoiding the old ways, are valuable friends indeed.



Lastly and most importantly, these methods will be of no value unless we have placed our faith in Christ as Savior from our sin. This is where we absolutely must start! Without this, there can be no victory over sinful thoughts and temptations, and God’s promises for His children are not for us, nor is the Holy Spirit’s power available to us! If there is any doubt in this area, the area of our website dealing with this all-important issue is: http://www.gotquestions.org/eternal-life.html.



God will bless those who seek to honor Him with what matters most to Him: who we are inside and not just what we appear to be to others. May God make Jesus’ description of Nathanael true also of us...a man [or woman] in whom there is no guile (John 1:47).


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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