Read my poem concerning my encounter with God.
Mando’s “Brief” Testimony
I came into this world the oldest of three
Yes, big wheels and sneakers - Oh! I was something to see !
My parents separated twice, then divorced and alone
I became the man of the house at 6, confused to the bone !!
Uniforms and recess and catholic school,
Stain glass windows and nuns that were cruel.
My mom’s first attempt at suicide, I was trippin’ no doubt
Fearful and afraid - Oh! I’ll just block those feelings out !
My dad would come up on the weekends - then every month or so,
We go to the park and Mc’Donalds, we just have a good time U know.
When my dad didn’t pay child support, mom would use us as a tool,
she turn him away when he’d come up to see us, MAN!!, that wasn’t cool!
Mom depended on the church to raise us - I’m a candle in the wind,
sexually molested, the damage was done - all from a family friend.
Dad would blaze his pot lookin’ back now I can tell,
discovery the world of dope, how I loved that misty smell!
I’m the oldest - I have to set the example, but never trained how
no role models to follow, please someone, yell foul!
Alfred comes into the picture, new stepfather on the scene
It seemed he was raising a new standard on how to be really mean!
Gangs in East Los Angeles, little league baseball in the park
I was growing like a weed and becoming sly as a nark.
My mom and Alfred, pot heads, Film at eleven’
What is my world coming to? Can you smoke your way to Heaven?
Violence with verbal and physical abuse
No one here understands, oh! What is the use !!
Environment at home controlled by violence and not by love
Is there a God up in heaven? is there a God up above?
Break up between mom and Alfred, jus’ when I thought it was safe
Yet Alfred returns again, it’s not the first time she’s hit in the face.
Listen, I just want to be a kid, not even knowing how to be me
Thinking of ways of suicide to set my mind at ease
Started bonging pot at a early age - oh I discovered heaven
ya know, the money I spent on munchies, I could of owned a 7-11 !!
Boozing at the age of 12 and loving the escape
Dreaming to be somebody, while my mind was being raped!!
Feeling like a nobody, feeling worthless than a quarter
I just want an identity, man, why is my life on back order?
My mom’s second attempt - at taking her life
Was it the pressure of being mom or the pressure of being a wife?
I was tired of rejection, yet the streets accepted me
I started partying even harder with a banjo on my knee!
13 years old and heavily into speed,
I’m so cool and so awesome, had no time to even bleed.
Skateboarding is my life, I’d skate for miles and miles . . .
I had a knack to get your attention, then I’d dazzle you with freestyle.
I wanted to fit in with my friends - to be part of the party fire
But the peer pressure was always changing, and I became a chronic liar.
My mom and Alfred got back together and we moved far away,
I suffered from their reunion and leaving my girlfriend was a price to pay.
Heartbroken and hopeless, die hard forms of madness,
I’m hating life and hurting, there’s no honeymoon with sadness.
Mingling with rich folk in this new valley age,
I discovered blonde hair women, and heavy metal live on stage.
At the surviving age of 14 with drugs at the center of my life
Mass violence in my home, mass violence is a knife!!
I stole a bunch of rock cocaine, didn’t know what I had
Got thrown out of my parents place, and went to live, with dear old dad.
Living with my dad and my stepmother, with a fresh second chance
Common denominator - partying, a new song but same ol’ dance.
Like father like son with my hair growing long
Getting high everyday was my valley dude song.
Black beauties, pink hearts, blancas and then
Started chewing LSD, Man! where have I been?
Dad and my step-mom argued, and stopped getting along
I was becoming a mess and it was coming on strong!!
Confused and left abandoned after dad’s second divorce
Tore up and very lonely, a teenager of remorse.
Moved in with grandparents, hurting and yes - broken
My emotions were raging with loud agony unspoken.
Moved in with a friend, dealt speed, pot and LSD
Ya know, drugs are my friends! It was totally meant to be!
Hanging out with gangs, I welcomed the challenged
Until Robert got his face blown off, now my life will never balance
No where to run, and always running from . . . .
Heard about Christ Jesus - Could He be the one?
Got saved while on acid at church one night
Pink heaven and mercy, man this really feels right.
Was clean for 30 days, my soul was having divine dinner
And then I went to the river, and whala’, a born again sinner
A back slidden condition, was all this a phase?
Cannebinal, speed, crystal, and a bowl full of blaze.
Living for the moment - with my homeboy barcardi
You can find me in Hollywood or at any backyard party.
Afraid I would miss out on something all the time
Warrants for speeding and warrants for my mind.
Vicky my love, cocaine my rock
In debt to the world, my shadow would mock.
Anything that can happen, has happened to Vicky and I
We could answer your questions, but not answer why!
We would be whiffing up lines and talking bout why Jesus died
It really messed me up after Daniel’s suicide.
Man, why did I backslide? my mind would jab
Don’t have no money - never heard of rehab.
Got busted, now in jail, fet up - no hope
The bitterness and the head games, how can I cope?
We rededicated to Jesus, Vicky and I we eloped
Our first 3 months were a struggle, but the first 3 months of hope.
First apartment, last drug temptation with my spouse
We began to give it to Jesus, cause the Holy Spirit is in de house!
Angel was born, our precious first little child
We were learning to fight satan, and his demons running wild.
We struggled with harmony, our self-centeredness would fit
Yet inspired by Jesus, cause He’s too legit to quit.
Vicky not getting spiritually fed and expecting for the second time
Hard pregnancy is awful, hard pregnancy is a crime!
I struggled with lust, not realizing its hold
The ramifications were terrible and its roots are bold.
The wages of lust is death, my sinful nature would nod
It destroyed my relationship with Vicky, and my relationship with God.
I repented and got healed and yes it took awhile
Jesus is soooo forgiving, that’s why Jesus is my smile.
Our new born son, Justin, fighting for his life
Bringing people together, including me and my wife!
The unanswered questions, Justin’s funeral, it hurts so insane
God’s mercy is so incredible, and yet we felt we were to blame.
Our days our numbered, we are just passing through
PEOPLE, why do we fight Jesus? when He can make us brand new!
We’ve learned to live for Jesus, His joy indescribable
If you don’t believe me - you need to check out your bible.
What’s pulling you down? what’s your pet sin costing you to be?
Stop lying to yourself, Only Jesus can set you free . . . .
YES, God is real.
www.myspace.com/mandorodarte