Has this ever happened to you?

Question

For some dreadful reason, your life has gone wrong enough for you to be sitting around watching television when there are nothing but infomercials on, when the announcer comes on and says "has this ever happened to you" and you've thought to yourself "why yes, that HAS happened to me" in response to what he describes?

It has NEVER happened to me. What inevitably follows in every infomercial I have ever seen begun that way is a problem you would either have to be suffering a massive head wound or stuck in the bizarro dimension to ever have.

"Has this ever happened to you? You're driving along when suddenly you see a cat stuck in a tree, but you realize you don't have a ladder in your trunk!"

"Has this ever happened to you? Your hungry family is waiting for dinner and you have sausage in a frying pan, but you need to turn it over. Uh-oh! Now what do you do?"

Get a pair of tongs and flip them? Get a fork and gently roll them sideways until they're the other way up? Have the foresight not to start cooking something before I know whether I can successfully finish cooking it?

No, no, silly... instead, you watch as a woman who makes Sarah Palin seem like she's discussing the research that just won her the Nobel Prize in Medicine scratches her head and stares at these mysterious cylinders of meat which have somehow appeared in a sizzling frying pan. She picks up a spoon and scoops at them, but no. She scratches again, and decides maybe if she just picks them up with her hand, and... ouch! That's hot! Meanwhile a very grim looking man, furious faced boy, and pouty girl are all banging a fork and knife against the table and there's a baby screaming in a high chair because it hasn't eaten sausage for several days.

Back in the kitchen, the woman has resorted to trying to bang the skillet against the stove. Smoke is billowing in the air, flaming sausage is flying everywhere, the garbage can has caught fire and for some reason no one has explained, there is now flour all over the place... and there's that poor woman, scratching her hair.

So has anything like that ever happened to you?

Have you ever seen one of these infomercials and thought to yourself "my God... for years I've been tangled under a blanket, unable to reach my tomatoes! Thank God someone has finally devised a way for me to be able to reach through my blanket to grasp at tomatoes hung upside down over my head! Now we won't starve because of ruined sausages!"

???

Answer 1

Yes, one time I couldn't clean up my blender because it was sooo much messier than my new magic bullet! I ended up filling up the whole sink with water and throwing the whole thing in there! glad I got that problem solved.

Answer 2

You'd be on the set of coronation highway! In concept i think if not something ever happend,there could have been no vast Bang which might advise that situations for existence does not have been created!! In physics isn't there a regulation that states each action HAS AN equivalent AND OPPOSITTE reaction?? as a result if there develop into no preliminary action,evoloution does not exist.... Cool! Existential questions:)

Answer 3

LOL. That happens to me all the time! No, seriously I get a headache and chest pains from laughter it's just so funny. lol. Until now I thought I was the only one so you can imagine my relief to know that others cop it too.

Even though it's in the wrong category I will give it a "star" because it is interesting and extremely funny.

Answer 4

You have to realize that there are people out there must have everything they see on tv, which is why these tv commercials exist. They prey on the stupid.



Very funny by the way!

Answer 5

Go look at jacksfilms parodies on Youtube. I think they'd be pleasing to you. Several of his videos are infomercial parodies.

Answer 6

This may be the single greatest question ever.

Answer 7

lmfao (wipes tears away) wow... you should seriously write because you are hilarious!!!! still lol-ing

Answer 8

That was the funniest rant today, thanks LOL.