You have yet to learn that life is good dispite it's problems. God never promised us life everlasting on earth...he never said we would not have pain or troubles. He just promised us that life is what it is and he will be there at the end to give us peace!
If God took care of everything here on earth...what would be the purpose of living? To all be the same...to all be stepford people? No one would be different...no one would have experiences that no one else had...everyone would live forever and everyone would be happy. Idealistic...but not REALISTIC!
Life is beautiful......you are not the only one with problems I had a miserable childhood..abused and left .....but my blessing and God's grace gave me four wonderful grandparents that loved me and helped me and raised me and let me know how special I was. My parents didn't want me...but they did. I was truely blessed and loved.
I married a wonderful man..and then had children. When my children were 11 and the twins were 7 they were in a car accident and one twin was in a coma for 10 weeks and we were told he would never wake up. He did and although he is paralyzed he owns his own home and drives and is a wonderful human being. I was blessed again with his life and the love of a child and was allowed to live my life knowing him.
He spent 10 years in a hospital and eventually lost a leg....still we are blessed...again he was close to death and only through God's grace and wonderful doctors he is still alive. Even Kevin has a good outlook on life and knows he is blessed and does not sit and have a pity party that his life is not like anyone else's. Kevin is a wonderful human being...kind and generous and loving and someone I am very proud of. He is happy! Despite it all....he is happy!
I got cancer...lymphangiomyomia...very rare cancer..very few live with this. Again God gave me the courage and chance at life and let me catch this in time before it hit my lungs. I lost a kidney and reproductive organs ..part of my stomach and the bottom part of one lung...but I am alive 11 years later and Thank God for everyday that I can love and see my family and play with my grandbabies.
I had a granddaughter 19 months old die when an entertainment center fell on her and crushed her head. Even though it was another extremely painful time in my life..we were blessed to have their parents stay with us so we could help them through the grief and see them grow and 2 years later now they have a home of their own...are happy and have a new baby. I have another grandson.! Not that it replaces Lily...we still talk to her and miss her and grieve her...but Kashe Michael is giving everyone a second chance and he is so special. God gave us that because Krista was not supposed to be able to get pregnant. To us it was another miracle.
I could go on and on about things that are good in life. With pain you get such joy and happiness if you look for it. There are two sides to life .....and you have to choose which side you want to live in. you can dwell on pity and think you are chosen to live a hell on earth or you can choose to know that each new day you are alive ...it is a gift from God. It is a gift to see butterflies and rainbows and rain and even tomatoes growing .....to see a new life born and someone overcome obstacles that are beyond what you think are possible to live with.
Once when Kevin was in the hospital there was a man who had four children. His wife left him with the children because she couldn't face having four children with Muscular Dystrophy. This man...God Bless him thought he was the luckiest man in the world to be blessed with these children...even he watched each of them die and he as left alone. HE took care of them by himself and buried them all. We are still friends with him and you know what? He is married now with three beautiful healthy children who he appreciates and loves more than life itself. he knows the value of life everyday. It is people like this that are angels on earth and make you realize that no matter what you are going through...someone else has it worse. You THANK GOD for your life because it is YOUR life.
I feel sorry for people that can't find joy in life even though it kicks you in the gut sometimes. but you have the love of family...of friends...of children...far beyond what we really think we deserve.
If you don't find joy in those and realize what a great God we have....to intercede and make those painful times better than without him....there is nothing anyone can say to make you change your mind. You are a negative person and you choose to be that way. It is your choice...just like it is your choice to be honest...or to brush your teeth or not...or to go to work or not.....each choice you make defines you.
You will never be happy with anyone or yourself until you find the silver lining in things. Even if you got hurt....each day is a new day to change things. you don't have to remain stagnant and unhappy. It is YOUR choice to be unhappy and live in darkness!
Susanna