About the whole "wives submit to your husbands" thing?

Question

Now, before I say anything, I tend to think that this was mainly just Paul's opinion. I may someday be forced to admit myself wrong. But that's beside the point.

Anyway, I have heard some people, mostly women actually, say that they feel that wives got the easier task. Do any of you, male and female alike, feel that this is so?


Here is the scripture:

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He

Answer 1

It do not believe it means that man and woman are unequal. From the scriptures, although it explicitly states that women should submit to their husbands, it also states that the husband should, in my own words, give everything for the wife (which is in essence submitting to the needs of the wife), raising her above all else. The reason the man is the "head" is because of the priesthood (which the apostles were given), but that priesthood does not make them unequal. Scripturally, men and women just had/have different roles, the mans not being greater than the womans. Additionally, if the man does not follow God, then the woman is not under the responsibility to listen to the husband. Anyway, in the eyes of God men and women are equal and work together to reach a common goal, or so they should.

Answer 2

My wife and I have been Christians since before we were married, and take these scriptures very seriously. I will not rant.



I feel that the husband has the greater task, and here is why:



Just because the Scripture gives a command it does not mean that following that command is a simple thing. Wives submitting to their husbands is not an easy task. It doesn't mean that they have to give up their mind and become a robot that follows the very whim of the husband, but it does mean that the husband is the head of the household and has the final say.



Now as to the husband, he is commanded to LOVE his wife. Love here is an action verb, meaning that the husband must SHOW love to his wife at ALL times. An easy task? I think not.



It does not stop there. Verse 26 tells us that he is to be a spiritual leader in the home. Most fathers and husbands in our time have failed greatly in this part of their responsibility.



Just MHO.



God bless

Answer 3

You missed verse 21:



"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."



I think that this is a contraversial topic for a couple of reasons. First of all, our society has moved "off center" with this whole concept, mainly because our society has moved away from its responsibility to God and His word. Secondly, it has become contraversial because everyone wants to be in control of their own lives and not have to submit to anyone. Marriage is an institution that was intended to recognize the sovereignty of God and the dictates of His holy word. It really doesn't work properly unless both persons (one male and one female) are both in full submission to God and His way doing things. Marriage in our contemporary culture has been secularized to the extent that it is viewed as a temporary arrangement at best. And of course it is being questioned now as whether it should even be defined as an agreement between a man and woman.



Marriage cannot work successfully on an ongoing basis without certain basic criteria being met. This is essential to the human creature, and the way that we have been designed by our Creator. Marriage at its heart is a partnership between two adults of the opposite sex. There cannot be a successful partnership without give and take on both sides. And at the same time, this partnership cannot be successful if one of the two partners is moving in opposition to God. The Lord is the unifying factor between the two (usually) very different individuals. The selfish desires of individuality have to take a backseat to what is in the best interest of the other person. But there are times when someone has to cast a "deciding vote." This is the role of the man, and he bears the weight of responsibility that goes along with that. But the important thing is, that he must act out of love for the wife and family. Love always has the best interest at heart for the other person. The woman needs the covering of the man, and if she doesn't, she should remain single. The man needs the support and help of the wife, and if he doesn't, he should remain single.



This is the way that two married people become one person. By dying to self, and doing the thing that is right by the other person. That is submitting themselves one to another. This is an ongoing basis. On the more ocassional basis, there are times when the man must make decisions for the benefit and protection of the wife and family, and this requires the cooperation of the wife. This is at times, not easy for either individual, but it is necessary. This is the order that God has created for a man and wife, and this is how each gender is "equipped," if you will, to function in the marriage relationship. It's not always easy, but since when was life easy?

Answer 4

I have talked to my pastor about this since I will be getting married in 11 months and my take on this is simply that, I believe it is designed to ensure that men take care of their homes while women take care of their families... If both the wife and the husband do their jobs correctly ever ones needs are met equally. I don't think the wives task is really easier just different. She has to care for the home the children and the husbands needs. he needs to ensure everything is taken care of financially as well as make sure she is taken care of.

I think most women hate the word submit.. it doesn't mean you have to become a slave.. because the bible also states men should never disrespect their wives. So there is nothing wrong with submitting to your husband if he treats you with dignity and respect.

Answer 5

Thank you for posting the verse WITHIN its context!



When you look at the chapter in its entirety and take into consideration the social structures at work during that time, the passage is actually a lovely instruction on family dynamics. The bottom line is that each member of the family is to love and respect the others. It all equals out.



I would love to have a linguist trace back the different translations to find out which word was used for "submit" in the original text and what connotations it had at the time.

Answer 6

Before I became a Christian, I was a scrappy, person, but one who was OFTEN at odds with my sweet hubby. I'm a strong willed person who believes in taking action and making things happen; he's a much more laid-back kind of guy. That was one of the things I honestly found DISTASTEFUL about Christianity was the mere IDEA of submission to my hubby. However, after I accepted Jesus as my Saviour, He began to teach me some things from the scripture. First of all, submission does NOT make you a second class citizen. Secondly, according to God, He is going to hold the HUSBAND accountable for how he leads the family, and how he treated his wife. Do you realize what a LOAD that takes off a wife when you really let that SINK in? Thirdly, my husband, according to God, is to ALWAYS consider my feelings and opinion, but when we disagree on a matter, SOMEBODY must make the final decision. Since God is going to hold hubby accountable anyway, I submit to his decision, understanding that it really IS what he feels is best all the way around for the good of the family.



Hope this helps in some small way.



P.S.

I have never been HAPPIER in my marriage, then since I've started obeying God in this matter of submission. My husband has become a stronger leader, I am more relaxed, and God has BLESSED!

Answer 7

I don't hink the passage is meant to be sexist, I always thought that it meant submissive as in let the man lead the way. I don't think it means women have no opinions or are supposed to act like maids. According to this passage the man is the spiritual leader of the family and as he leads spiritually the wife follows this spiritual path. I think that is a big load to carry being the spiritual leader. I think alot of women are so intimidated by letting go of some of their power that they don't let men be men. That's just the way I see it.

Answer 8

As a Christian woman I'm battling with this scripture as well. But it was explained to me that if you have a husband that loves you as Christ loved the church you would have no problem submitting. Christ loved and cared for the church, He died for the church.



Also, I was told that submission does not mean your husband can tell you what to eat, when to sleep, how to talk. It means being the ultimate support of your husband and his decisions.



I still have a battle with that scripture though...

Answer 9

If we guys would love our wives as much as Christ loves us then our wives would be happy to be submissive. women want a real man who takes care of his family and works hard.Most men are lazy bums.Women are to tired to be submissive because there lazy husbands don't work hard enough and the women have to work,cook,clean,wash cloths,take the kids to the doctor,etc.While there lazy husbands work only 40 hours a week and come home and lay on the coach and want someone to wait on them. When I get home at night I eat a bowl of cereal or whatever. My wife works hard and she is not my slave.I work six days a week,13 hours a day and i pay all of the bills. It is not my wife's responsibility to worry about the bills.

Answer 10

I don't see the problem with this. Although I personally think it is both partners to submit to each other. The wife should submit to her husband to a point. if he is a tyrant, then she has no obligation. Also the man should submit to the wife. If the wife has a problem with something, isn't is just plain common sense to make sure she is happy, unless she is being unreasonable.



I think it is an equal partnership with equal responsibility and athority.

Answer 11

See god didn't meant this to actually say women have to ask their husbands to go the store for instance, or cook supper, or take a bath. It simple means respect in my opinion. My class has studied that same text time and again and with the changing times as the woman's role changes in day to day life they don't nessacarily have to cook dinner every night, have a child after child or submit to every wish that their husband commands. Again, it simple means Respect each other.

Answer 12

Let's not forget the time, country and how women were treated when those scriptures were written. Women were submissive and were a lower class of people. I think what it means is to respect your husband as the head of the household. Also, men should respect their wives and treat them well.

Answer 13

You must always remember that the scripture is never wrong... it's the people that interpret it. God created man and women completely different and also created them with the ability to lead and follow. I personally don't think this scripture applies to every man b/c not every man is Godly<<< this is the first eye opener that women should have. God works with the law not against it so that's one reason why He works in 'ranks'. I have also dwelled on these verses myself and came to the conclusion that women could be a little overpowering and men could be a little loveless towards their wives. I think that above all things... God knows us the best at our best and our worst so He knows exactly what's best for us on How we can protect ourselves .... against ourselves.!!!!

Answer 14

My response is that, even in our culture today, that this is a good lesson.



Women respect your husbands. So often you see women who love, but do not respect their husbands.



And men love your wives, so often you see men that just respect their wives, but don't give themselves over totally in love (as if they were to die for).

Answer 15

Yes, my husband has the more difficult job in our marriage. This is not to say that he does this job perfectly, nor do I submit to him or God perfectly for that matter.



Aside from our own human dislike of the roles that God set up for us, it is my husbands job to protect and keep me, just as Jesus Christ protected and kept his church.



I do not always make this job easy, nor does he always make it easy for me to submit to him in this manner.



Jesus never told the church body that they must submit in fear (abuse), he told them that they must submit in love and from their hearts, not just in outside appearances. A husband cannot just demand submisssion and give a wife nothing to submit to from her heart. He has to love and honor her above himself and she will submit willingly and lovingly. Not an easy lesson for any of us, but a biblical one none the less.



It is much easier for a wife to submit to her husband that loves and honors her than it is for a husband to love and honor his wife above his own self.

Answer 16

I think it is nice for a woman to feel protected by her husband, however, that is, if he is worthy to be head of the household.



I do not believe in a wife staying or "submitting" to her husband if she is being abused by him.

Answer 17

Not an "easier task;" just complementary responsibilities to those of men. God equips those to whom He allots any load, with the faculties to bear it according to His will.

Answer 18

as in any scenario...your going to hear conflicting opinions; a men saying he's got it harder/easier or woman saying she has it harder/easier...its all just personal experience. im not married, so i dunno abt that as much as some others, but it seems to me like its one of those "grass is greener on the other side" deals...show me a woman who thinks they have it easier filling the traditional roles of the wife (cooking, cleaning, raising kids, etc) and i'll show you a feminazi ready to drop kick your woman out of the house and into a career. i dunno...it really is a very grey issue

Answer 19

you put it all into perspective. Wives submit to your husbands will and husbands submit to your wives need for complete love.

Answer 20

Easier task? Ha!



Our beautiful wives are heroes to our kids and us. They work hard to raise good decent kids and still keep their sanity. Simply amazing.

Answer 21

If you read the Bible it is pretty apparent that it was written by a bunch of sexist old men who thought that women were second class citizens. If you start with that understanding, everything else falls into place.