Will you please tell me a story about your family?

Question

I'm posting it here because I actually like most of you. And my friend's grandfather is dying so she's telling me stories about her family. I'm just holding her hand and listening to her stories. Some of them are quite funny. So tell me yours, please.

Answer 1

Well here goes. My husband was in Vietnam, before he left, his Aunt gave him a relic from a saint. To keep with him while he was there. When he arrived he lost the relic. He looked everywhere for it and went through his bedding and laundry and couldn't find it. It was gone.

Well he went out on a mission about a month later and while he was there he was shot through the stomach and it went out his back. Needless to say he was brought into a mash unit and was given the last rites, for the doctors and nurses did all they could do for him. They didn't expect him to wake up, but he did and asked the nurse present what happened. She told him he would be shipped out from there and that it didn't look too good. Then as a matter of fact she said, By-the-way, when the doctor was examining you he found this in your wound. It was the relic that my husband lost when he arrive in Vietnam. This is true and I wear the relic around my neck to this day. We have been married for over 30 years. Hope you like this one. God bless you.

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your friend and her grandfather. :( That really sucks.



Well, a year or two (or three, I don't remember, it was whenever my cousin graduated from college), my family all came up to Indiana from Jersey and we were sitting in our living room with them, talking and whatnot. For some reason, my parents decided that was a good time to tell my little sister that Santa Claus isn't real and that the "Santa" she talked to on the phone every year was really just our grandpa. She took it really well, but then they (mi madre y padre) had her call up said grandpa and ask him about it. When he answered the phone my sister asked if he would ever lie to her. It put him in quite a funny little bind. I don't remember what he said though. Then later, we were watching old home movies of my mom's family from when they were kids, my grandma came on screen (obviously much younger and stuff) and my cousin Matt said "wow, grandma was a hottie". Hilarity ensued.

Answer 3

My family story is worthy of a Stephen King novel.



Not pleasant at all. My family put the 'd' in dysfunctional.



The good thing is I'm working on overcoming all that shite I went through as a child/teenager. I'm more happier and secure as a 40-something than any other time in my life. I have a strong appreciation for freedom, security, friendships and strength. I am grateful that I am alive to learn how to help others and enjoy the flowers on the way.

Answer 4

Oh dear...stories I could tell about my family. There are so many that are interesting (at least to me)



Okay, here is the first one that came to mind when I heard "family story". My Grandmother and Grandfather (on my father’s side of the family) were totally nuts, but the funniest people you could ever dream of meeting. My Grandma was terrified of snakes...totally terrified. My Grandpa bought a little green rubber snake, you know the kind kids play with, and would torture her with it, chase her all over the house. She knew it was fake, but still she would run and scream whenever he would bring it out.



Anyway, one day he had his roller skates on (yes a 50+ year old over weight man in roller skates if you picture that) and got out the snake and was skating in circles around the house chasing my Grandma. I remember sitting at the dinning room table thinking these 2 acted like 5 year olds not 50 year olds!



Finally my Grandma had enough. She ran through the kitchen, grabbed the broom and hid under the kitchen table, and waited for him to come skating around the corner. When he got close enough to the table she stuck the broom between his legs and sent him flying across the kitchen. It was like something from a Tom and Jerry cartoon. He slid across the floor and just smacked the opposite wall. My grandma climbed out from under the table, walked over to him, bopped him on the head with the broom handle then walked away without a word.



I of course, was in the dinning room watching it all, laughing my head off.



I really miss them!

Answer 5

I'm so sorry about your friend's grandfather. I do remember a story from many years ago (I mean MANY) during a trip to visit family in Puerto Rico. We took a trip to the beach. A cousin's husband (or something) took a few of us in his car. Then went back to get some more relatives. That wasn't the funny part. The funny part is he decided he didn't want to make two trips back and we ALL piled into his car. It was about 14 of us. We were tripled up on the seats... people were sitting on the floor. I had TWO people on my lap. Then for grins we'd offer rides to people we passed. Fun times.

Answer 6

No, because it would take too long.

Here's a rather silly joke, instead:



An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.



There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.



Then the priest comes in.

The man says "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."



The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."



Not as good as a family story, but I hope it raises a smile.

Answer 7

I went back to my country when I was thirteen. My mother, my younger brother, and I went to the Guyanese National Zoo. There was a small lagoon of sorts in the zoo with mantees. My brother stepped too close to the lagoon and the earth below him collasped and he fell. The mantees started to bounce him upward, but not too high. So my mother and I were able to pull him out. This resulted in a very frightened ten year old in muddy shoes and shorts.

Answer 8

Not much to tell.



Was the "only" child for 7 years, then two younger sisters came along and when Dad realised he might not have any sons from Mom (gasp!), he decided to accept his son from another woman (from before my parents married). Allegedly he had to pay a fine (I'd make him pay too- denying your flesh and blood for so many years! :-P)



I still remember the day Mom tried to prepare me for the news. We were walking home one evening and she started saying "You know, long ago your Dad lived in a house with a woman. That woman was pregnant. Then she had a baby. He's grown up now, and will be coming to visit us soon."



Mom sounded real weird as she told the story, and it clicked in my young mind- that boy was my brother. Why else would a man be living with some random pregnant woman? lol



Living with us you'd never be able to tell that my big brother is not my mom's son. She treats us all the same. (Ok, scratch that- she's mean with me and nice with all the others :-D)



My grandma- Dad's mother- keeps whining "Why won't your mother bear my son a male child?"



I tell her "But you already have a grandson- my brother!"



She says "I know- but he's not your mother's son!"



I say "Yeah, but what difference does that make when he's YOUR son's son?!"



My grandma can be loca sometimes lol

Answer 9

I've recently lost my grandfather, and am losing my nan, so I know what your poor friend is going through. Give her my condolences, even though she doesn't know me. Just tell her the internet's sexiest man mourns her loss. Hopefully that will lift her spirits a bit and get a chuckle out of her.



As for a story.. Haha... My grandmother was petrified of storms, and once when I was 7 and scared of them also, we had a big storm blow over, I remember she hid under the table with me. My mother, grandfather, uncle and aunt just sat there laughing at her.



Good times. And I've got memories of hundreds of good times with my family forever stored in my noggin. They're my most treasured memories.

Answer 10

My great grandfather was born in England, and migrated to South Africa when his older brother inherited the family land in England. He went to the land his family owned in Cape Town, and lived there. Years later, he moved to the US, and with him he took a young african boy named Gobo, who hid under my great-grandmothers hoop skirt, to get him on the ship, and into their cabin. If she hadn't hidden him, she would have had to let an orphaned 3 year old make the passage in the cargo hold, and she thought of him as her own. When they got to the US, grandpa bought land in New York, and when Gobo was old enough, be gave him land, and bought him sheep, to set him up on his own. When the family moved to Utah, he went, too, and continued his sheep herding there. The cattle men of the area just hated him, because sheep destroyed the land, they said, and because of his color. Eventually they shot him, and he managed to get home where he died on grandma's kitchen floor.

One nearer to my heart, and funny-is when my mama went camping as a little girl with my grandparents. Mama was always so fastidious, and even as a little girl, pooping in the woods just horrified her. She had to do it. and looked around for leaves to wipe with. She found some nice, broad leaves, did her business, and realized-too late-that she had chosen stinging nettle for toilet paper.

Bless your heart for being with your friend. Death is an awful thing, the bible calls it 'the last enemy', and God promises us that some day, we won't have to suffer it any more. Just listen to her, be there for her, even in the days and weeks to come. Death leaves us changed, forever. The life we knew with our loved ones is over, and from this point forward, we have to pick our way thru in a different way. I'll say a prayer, if you don't mind, that he goes easily, and with dignity, into peaceful sleep, awaiting a ressurection to paradise.

Answer 11

I got a couple for you. They're short.



I was in high school at the time.

I was in my room doing my homework, when my sister came in. She asked me to come to the kitchen. She said she had mopped the floor a half hour ago and it was still wet and she didn't know why. I asked her what she mopped with and she just pointed to a bottle. I looked at it. It was a bottle of vegetable oil! It took three rolls of paper towels and an hour to get the oil up! On the plus side the floor had never been so shiny.



I was out of town on a school trip. When I came home, I got told this story.

I had asked my family to care for my gerbil, Itt, while I was gone. Well, my mom went to feed Itt, wasn't really paying attention, when Itt got loose. My mom had a Siamese cat at the time, named Cody, Well, my mom hollered for my sister to catch Itt before Cody did. Itt crawled under my door, into the waiting jaws of Cody. Cody takes off with Itt in his mouth. They got Cody cornered in another room. They grab him and he drops Itt. They throw Cody out of the room, and proceeded to look for Itt. They spot Itt just as she ran under the door. They open the door, and there's Cody, with Itt by the tail in his mouth. They finally grabbed the gerbil, and put her back in her cage. I got told the next time I leave town, I was to take Itt with me!

Answer 12

Every summer my family drives hours and hours down to Florida where 7 sleep in a 2 bedroom condo. We walk to the beach, we walk to a pool, we walk to Ron Jon's and be completely lazy for a week, then we go to one theme park then we leave.

Answer 13

Before I was born my mother shared a house with a transsexual who had left the clergy who was paid a visit by Mother Teresa when she was in australia and was thus witness to possibly the most awkward conversation ever conducted on earth.





that's probably the most interesting story from my family and conveniently relevant to this section.

Answer 14

My grandfather used to smuggle diamonds in antique rugs. Someone got caught and sold him out. He went to jail and made a friend, whom he kept in touch with and soon after they became very close family friends. About 20 yrs later his friends daughter one day decides to come visit the US where my family and I live and we take her to a party with us one night and she meets my best friends cousin there. They are now married.

Answer 15

I'm one of 6 children. I have one brother who was always in touble and in jail. We haven't heard from him in years. One day I decided to look up the last prison I knew he was in. Needless to say. it said he was deceased. Until the day my mother died, I never once told her, it would have killed her. I know it's not a funny story, but it's a story that sticks with me.

Answer 16

When my brother was eight, he climbed on the roof, and jumped off onto the trampoline in our backyard.



And then proceeded to bounce uncontrollably over the fence, smack into a palm tree about twelve feet off the ground, sliding down it just like you see in the cartoons.



I almost died laughing.

Answer 17

during the gulf war, we we're in bahrain and lived in a friends house.

i used to be 2 or 3.. me and dad hanging out in a swimming pool... i was naked completely in the pool lol.. so i threw myself a mini rocket..

all of a sudden the pool guy "not sure what he's really called" dives into the pool heading towards it, my dad was curious wtf are you doing ? he said sir, i thought it was gold. but it turns out to be the poop..

i always get reminded of this story, infront of my friends and guests lol



i used to play with a young girl in sweden called amanda, when we we're heading towards the airport, i kept constantly bothering my family "amanda is gone :(" "amanda left" lol.. and to this day i am constantly reminded of it, even though i don't remember her or what she looks like.. i've been told by her father that she dyed her hair silver and was into making movies. her dad comes to kuwait occasionally to give lectures with dad at college.



maybe that's why i turned to the norse gods after all..

Answer 18

They found me running naked with the animals so I'm not sure about my family's history other than they must have been white mixed with american indian.

Answer 19

my grandma used to dodge bullets in germany, she managed to escape and flee to canada. my grandpa and great uncle on my mothers side escaped from a concentration camp in africa. had it not been so, neither would I.

Answer 20

My mum was a Wombat

My Dad was a Wombat



When my Daddy did the naughty with my mummy, he ditched her and she had to build her own burrow for me and her to live in.



Then she pissed off when I got old enough.



THE END.

Answer 21

hmm..I'll tell the story of my trip back to where my heart is: South Carolina. Okay so I live in Ct with my mom and younger sister. We are Jehovah's Witnesses, the only ones in our large family. Still, we all get along [except for my crazy uncle, but we'll get to that later] so things run smoothly. I'm now 16 but I haven't seen my grandparents who i love so much since i was about 7 years old. Not even i was probably 6. So the only memories since then that I've had of them were from 9 years ago[i took a visit at a critical time when i was 15, this is that story] so back in march when i was 15 my mom gets a call from my crazy uncle saying that they have been trying ot get a hold of us for months[ my mom is also on the loony side. she unplugged our house phone] and he said that my grandpa is having surgery to amputate his leg and that he may not live through it. So me and my mom and sister who haven't seen them in 9 years gte all scared and nervous, especially since we have no way of getting down there to be with them. so my crazy uncle tells my mom that he's leaving that friday [he called us wednesday -_-] to drive down there and be with them. my mom is freaking out and she doesn't know what to do, He tells her that he's willing to bring us with him plus his wife [who is also a character] so Me with my outspokenness tells my mother that we have to go and it's already made up in my mind that I'm going to see them. So we go. I leave school, miss a week of important testing to drive down to where my heart is. I have so many wonderful memories from when I was 6 in south carolina. I have the pictures to match them also. Looking back at me and my little sister. The drive down there we pass so many states, ones I've never even seen and one, New York, that I someday dream to live in and start my family.



We pull up to my grandparents huge house at 3am in the pouring rain. My uncle calls the house and soon my grandmother, who I haven't seen in YEARS appears in the garage door. She at first doesn't notice her daughter[my mother] and her only grandchildren[ US! lol] But then as she comes closer she notices us and I walk up to her, now towering over her at 5'8. My sister does the same and so does my mother, They study each others faces and it brings wetness to my eyes that I don't let anyone see. A family reunited. We all go in the house and talk for about an hour until we are all too tired. the next day my cool uncle comes with his wife and we all have just a great family moment. We go see my grandpa, the main attraction of this trip. I'm scared and excited to see him. Its hard for me to face my feelings so I was a mess with myself in the car ride up to the hospital. When I walk in the door, I see a large but feeble man laying in the hospital bed. he is old but his face is young.we all have towearr gloves and body aprons to see him and to protect him from our germs that may harm him. As we suit up, i hear the nurse talking to him. I also hear the same voice I heard 9 years ago, the one that used to call me and my sister "little ones" well we aren't little anymore grandpa. I walk in the room and look at him and he looks at me and my sister. he has very bad eye sight but when he sees us, he knows who we are. all grown up now. he takes our hand, too weak to hold us. but still it's enough for me.



a cuple days later we go back on the day of his surgery. Crazy uncle goes to cry alone and my grandma cries with my cool uncles wife. It's all very emotional and as I sit in the midst of it, I look out the hospital room's window and up to the bright blue sky and pray to Jehovah. I say the longest prayer I think I've ever said in my life. Hourse later we find out the my grandpa made it through very nicley and I know it's all because of Jehovah.



Even though my family is crazy one, we all united as one. through the arguments at my grandparents house to the love there also, I've learned the definition of family and Love

Answer 22

I hate my family....



Does that count?

Answer 23

Not a good question. It would take too long.