How much responsibility should a woman take to avoid rape?

Question

1) If I leave my car unlocked and it gets stolen I am partly to blame.
2) If I leave my doors unlocked and windows of my house open and I get robbed I am partly to blame.
3) If I walk in a bad area of town with expensive items on display and get mugged I am partly to blame.

So why do women who dress immodestly, drink too much, are up to late, invite men home think they are not responsible?

Answer 1

If you dressed immodestly, drank, and were up late, would it be OK if some nasty bum on the street that hasn't showered or shaved for 15 years, raped you? cuz you don't get to choose who does the rapin'.



If you smoked and I thought that was wrong would it be ok to shoot you if I seen you do it?

Answer 2

Blame is irrelevant. Responsibility is the key. Even so, I think you are comparing two different things. The criminal activity you are describing (burglary, robbery, etc.) usually occurs by opportunists. The person may not have stolen from the car had it not been unlocked: opportunity. The person might not have entered the house had it not been unlocked: again opportunity.



Perhaps being in dangerous areas late at night increases the chances of being mugged or raped. However dressing "immodestly" is irrelevant. I would like to see some kind of study that shows that women who dress a certain way get raped more often than women who dress another way. Sexual predators do not sit in the shadows of dark alleys watching modestly dressed women pass by waiting for one in a mini skirt and tube top. These predators are more interested in opportunity than attire. They will go for the woman who is alone and possibly appearing to be more defenseless than others.



Dressing "immodestly" is no more inviting rape than owning a red car as opposed to brown is inviting a break in. Even if I was wrong, and you could somehow prove that women dressing a certain way were actually inviting rape, do you think the number of rapes that occur would decrease if all women always dressed modestly? I don't think so. I think the number of rapes would stay consistent because the determining factor is opportunity.

Answer 3

Why is the interest only in the victim or potential victim? Isn't anyone interested in what can be done to stop men from wanting to rape women? It's like "how long is a piece of string". There are warped reasons why men want to commit a violent act towards women. But somehow the attention always leads back to what women were wearing at the time of the attack. Men are trying to make out that women wear less, drink more, walk in unsafe areas, put themselves in danger and make false rape accusations. Any responsible, mature-minded and caring man would not rape and would not make excuses for rape either. It's the sicko that rapes that should be focused on. There is never an excuse for rape. Children, men, mentally ill, disabled and the elderely get raped too. What were they wearing that sparked off the attack? Blaming and shaming women for rape is another example of men trying to reverse sexism away from them and onto women and men don't want to be responsible for their actions anymore - they want the blame to be on women.

Answer 4

Why should women accommodate the predetory nature of some men? At the end of the day, women are not cars. A car doesn't have the right to not be assulted just because it exists. A woman (and a man) does.



In spite of the fact that it is the rapist who actually commits the act of rape, it is women who are asked to modify their behaviour. Consider the double standard where drink is something that makes the woman vulnerable while at the same time excuses the rapist's actions



And what of peodophiles, if a child talks to a paedophile at a swimming pool does he/she deserve to be raped because they are flaunting their under-developed bodies to that peodophile? It is still the paedophile who is the perpetrator. Should children not go to swimming pools because there might be peodophiles there?



Drinking is not a crime, rape is. Dressing provokatively is not a crime, rape is. Staying up all night is not a crime, rape is.



"Don’t think in terms of analogies – a woman who has been drinking is not “an unlocked car”, “a purse sticking out of a back pocket”, or any other imagined incitement to criminal activity – she is not a potential crime scene but a woman, and entitled to the same freedoms and respect as any man"

http://www.thisisnotaninvitationtorapeme.co.uk/drinking/#whatyoucando_tab

Answer 5

1) Yes you should have locked your car, but it did not make your car get stolen because of that. Because you left your car unlocked does not give someone the right to steal it.



2) You should have locked your doors and windows as that makes the most sense, however you did not cause your house to get robbed. Simply leaving your windows open and doors unlocked does not mean someone has the right to rob your house.



3) If you flash items around town that might not be a smart thing to do, but again this doesn't give anyone the right to take your things from you. You cannot blame yourself for others bad behavior.



So therefore, a women who does these things does not do them and expect to be raped. A woman should never expect to be raped. Should women be careful yes, just like you should be careful with your car, house and items. However, in case you are not no one has the right to take something that wasn't given to them just because you made a mistake. You are not the one to blame for someones bad behavior.



Just like all the robbers are completely to blame for their actions, so to the raper who knows right from wrong and knows that it is wrong to force himself on a women.



Besides, most women who are raped are not dressing 'immodestly' drinking too much or up too late(???) Women do not expect men to rape them and you should be happy for that, as most women would want nothing to do with men if they thought that every man out there would do that to them.

Answer 6

You should be slapped for this one. There is nothing in the world that justifies rape, and if a man does not have the presence of mind and the self control to keep himself away from me, may heaven help him. If you dress immodestly, drink too much, stay up till 3 AM partying the night away, then you get a ride from this tall biker, and he rapes you after you repeatedly scream no at the top of your lungs, you are still partly responsible, no?

Answer 7

So you believe that all people that are raped could be seen as 'immoral' people in bad places. More rapes are carried out by people known to the victim that by circumstance. Rapes that are carried out randomly are more likely to make the headlines this doesn't mean these are the only people to get raped.



I'm interested why you only refer to women in your question. Do you not consider men get raped? How much responsibility should they take?



Just because someone walks down the street wearing something you would consider immodest after having a drink doesn't invite men to rape them. If a child sits on a paedophiles knee and arouses them it doesn't make it right for them to act on their urges.



If this is your view please explain whose fault it is if a nice Christian girl dressed in a jumper and jeans, walking home from a church meeting at 8.30 pm on a bright summers evening, gets dragged in to the bushes and raped? Hers? Rape is one of the sickest crimes yet somehow some men still like to put the blame onto women. Take responsibility for your own sex drive!

Answer 8

You are very peculiar.



And strangely misogynistic.



And if you're trying to be funny, you're failing miserably.



You should not need locks on any of your doors and windows. That you have them and fail to use them does not mean you deserve to be robbed.



Nor are you to blame if you get mugged.



You really need to learn the real relationship between the criminals and victims.



A woman should be allowed to dress in any way she likes and go anywhere she likes, any time she likes, with absolute safety.



More, a woman absolutely should not have to assume any responsibility, in any way, shape or form, if she gets attacked.



ALL the guilt - Every last, filthy part of it - Should be borne by those involved in hurting a woman in that, or any other way.



If you can't understand that there really is little hope for you.

Answer 9

your 3 examples are flawed in that they involve the theft or robbery not a violent crime. if rape isnt violence then would you mind being anally raped? i have a better question... you commit a non-violent offense that warrants you being taken to jail until you can see a judge, fined and released... in that time, you are anally raped by a violent criminal. because you commited a crime serious enough to be put in jail, did you deserve to be raped?



women sometimes dont exercise good judgement... sometimes men dont either but the difference is that a woman, because of ther smaller size, is more often a victim. that is why she should exercise more caution... but she is not to blame for the actions of someone else. example: i am a pretty good sized man that used to box when i was a younger man...and can take care of business if im pushed into it.... but if i wanted to, i could dominate other men, pick on people and just be a real bully. i also live i a state where i can carry my handgun concealed... now does that make any man that would cross paths with me to blame if i decided to victimize him? it doesnt matter what he says or does, its not ok to victimize someone else.

Answer 10

On the subject of women who dress immodestly - There is a lower percentage of sexual crimes committed in naturist (a.k.a. nudist) societies. If I chose to strut down Main Street in my birthday suit, the only thing I should have to worry about and take responsibility for is being arrested for indecent exposure, not being raped.



On the subject of women who drink too much - They should take responsibility for whatever actions they, themselves, took while drunk. Rape means that the sex was not consensual. If she said no and even tried to fight the man off, she should not be held responsible. There is nothing to imply that she would have been more capable of saving herself if sober. Even if she was teasing the man, drunk or sober, everyone has the right to go only as far as they're willing to go in a sexual situation, and anyone else involved should respect any decisions they make.



On the subject of women who are up too late - Pardon me, but what the hell does that have to do with being raped? Some of us like to exercise in the cooler, darker hours of the day, some of us are insomniacs, some of us, simply put, are night people. Women shouldn't have to shut themselves up in some ivory tower because some sick individuals are out and on the prowl. In fact, women should not feel the need to carry a can of pepper spray or any sort of weapon around, though many of them do, because men should respect their right to say and mean no.



On the subject of women inviting men home - Do you think that if a woman sincerely suspected the man she invited to her house would rape her that she would have invited him over in the first place? Most (sensible) women only invite a man over if they trust them. I, myself, have a number of male friends I would feel perfectly comfortable inviting into my house. I shouldn't have to worry about someone I trust harming me in any way. If they somehow misread any of my words/actions or weren't thinking straight for whatever reason and breached a physical boundary, they should respect me enough to either leave or apologize and not let it happen again, if I were to reject their advances.



In short, no woman should be held responsible for her rapist's lack of morality and self-control. If she's held responsible for anything, it may be for a lack of good judgment but not for her own rape.

Answer 11

Excuse me??????

What sort of misogynistic GARBAGE is that?

Regardless of WHAT a woman wears she has an unassailable HUMAN RIGHT to be free from attack by vile sick twisted molesters.

As for being "up late" wahat do you tink women are - 6 year old children?

As for "dressing immodestly" who the heck the right to decide what is decreed as "immondest".

You have bought into a big and very ignorant myth with reference to "bringing irresponsible men home". Rapists are not "irresponsible men" - they are vile sick individuals and in the vast majority of rapes which ake place, the attacker is known the woman - he is not a stranger in a bad area or an unknown attacker who breaks onto her home.

Answer 12

Leaving your car unlocked may be dumb, but it in no way mitigates criminal culpability, or increases your liability. Your insurance pays out just the same as if you had locked it. In some higher crime areas, people leave their car unlocked because at least then, they don't have to drive around without a window.



And even a woman walking down the street naked as the day she was born is not responsible for what some scumbag thinks he can take from her.



Seriously, this is a rapists defense. If you do not have the self control to keep from raping someone (no matter what they are wearing)...you should not be exposed to the public. You are filth at that point.



Men who do this have something wrong with them. Men who think they can justify it...they are even worse

Answer 13

i understand what you're saying about drinking too much and inviting men home, but with everything else i think it proves what pigs men really are. i don't think women should have to have a curfew or a "safety time" (im a runner and it's balls hot outside during the day) i would like to be able to make just as much use out of the evening as men and i think the streets should be patrolled better if thats the case. also if a man can safely wear whatever he wants i think it comes down to patrol so women can have the same luxury. if men cant control themselves then they should be put away, they're animals if they can't.

Answer 14

I think the asker's question and explanation of what he was asking are two different things.



To answer the actual question: In a fallen world, where evil exists, and wicked people seek to do violent things, we are personally responsible for taking basic measures to avoid becoming victims in so much as we can.



However, even our best measures will not stop someone from doing what they will to do, if they insist on doing it; therefore we are not culpable when someone else perpetrates violence against us.

Answer 15

So, what, you're saying that if you raped someone, then its their fault cos' they practically invited it? I mean, come-on!



I mean, yes, I seen a lot of women dressing slutely, and somethings making a tit out of themselves when drinking, but any mentally sound person would not use that as an excuse to rape them.



And as for staying up late and bringing men home, well guess what.....They're adults, they're allowed to do that!

Answer 16

If you leave your car unlocked and returned to it whilst someone was trying to break in, would you be upset if after telling them to stop they didn't leave quickly or would you find it acceptable that they continued to damage and take your car?



If you leave your house unlocked and returned ....



If you accidentaly found yourself in a bad area of town that you were unfamiliar with in your iPod in ....



Rather than justifying bad behaviour by saying other should avoid it, why not try to get through to people that bad behaviour is wrong full stop....

Answer 17

Can we just agree that nobody has the right to force sex upon anyone? This works for every gender combination.



Incidentally, if you're not smart enough to understand that when someone says no to your advances that you should stop then you're wholly to blame. You can't blame their choice of clothing or their decision to get wasted if you're well aware of your own actions.

Answer 18

If my car is unlocked, it doesn't give you a right to steal it. If my door is open, it doesn't give you the right to come in. If I'm carrying expensive items in a bad area of town, it doesn't give you the right to mug me. And if I have to much to drink, and make some poor choices, it doesn't give you the right to rape me.



If a woman says no, a man has a right to stop. Period. What even makes you think that rape is about sex? Its all about power, you having power over another person and exerting that power sexually. So it really wouldn't matter what I was wearing, would it?

Answer 19

None of the examples you have cited are actually relevant. The Police would have us believe since they spend less time actually Policing the streets and catching criminals that we are responsible for not 'tempting' those poor weak-willed criminals. Criminals are in fact responsible for their own behaviour and the crimes they choose to commit. In the same way I will terminate with extreme prejudice any miscreant attempting to rape, assault or otherwise molest me or my daughters. I will face the consequences of my own actions as they would have done. However women choose to behave they are not responsible for any man choosing to rape them. If you knew anything you'd know rape is about control, not lust or sex.

Answer 20

disagree.



the thief who steals the car,

the robber who enters your house,

the mugger, all breach the Law of God.



therefore, how is this the fault of the innocent party.



what kind of a man will touch a woman against her will ...

don't give excuses for your own weaknesses and expect women to be restrained in their clothings, or wearing jewellery or drink or are out late.



God has given us freewill.

Why should our liberties be restrained bc of YOUR weaknesses ?



it speaks of your sick mind ...



by yr same argument, homosexuals are asking to be put to death, be electrocuted. what rubbish.

Answer 21

Why do rapists consider a women "immodestly" dressed automatically available for sex?

Why do rapists consider drunk women automatically available for sex?

Why do rapists consider women who stay up to late automatically available for sex?



Yes, it is their responsibility to look after themselves, but this should not stop them to do what they want.

If you are jealous or disturbed by women behaviour on friday night migrate or stay indoors nodding to whatever God you believe.

Answer 22

NONE, rape is the action of the rapist not the victim.



The same can be asked how much responsibility should children take to avoid being MOLESTED and ABUSED by PRIESTS.



GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE !

Answer 23

Poor decisions made by the victim of a crime are just that. When a person commits any crime then they and they alone are responsible, the excuse of the devil made me do it will not hold up. Yes satan may give opportunity but in the end we all are responsible for our own actions.

Answer 24

Are you suggesting that men, when invited to the home of a woman who is dressed immodestly, drunk and has been known to have the odd late night, will suddenly lose all self control and rational thought and find that sex at any cost must be accomplished? Despite knowing that it is entirely against the wishes of the aforementioned woman? Does 2 billion years of evolution mean nothing?

Answer 25

1) Locks keep honest men honest.



2) Locks keep honest men honest.



3) You would probably get robbed anyway unless you dress like you sleep in phone booths. Regardless, getting robbed is not your fault.



Raping a woman is always going to be the rapists fault. If a rapist tries to blame the victim, then it's double HIS FAULT.



Quit raping people.

Answer 26

No woman is ever to blame for being raped. I don't care if she is walking through the worst neighborhood in the middle of the night, drunk, naked and carrying a sign that says LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO!!! We are responsible for our actions, and to say "well its her fault she got raped" is a truly distorted and disgusting way to see the world. That is like saying, "If she hadn't popped off to me, I wouldn't have punched her in the face. She deserved it."

Answer 27

They are NOT responsible.



Men should control themselves, yes women should be safer but a woman should be ABLE to do these things without being raped.



If you were topless one hot day I suppose it's your fault if i rape you then? Or is it different for men?



You still havn't responded to my e-mail btw. I really hope you ask these questions out of concern and not because you believe men should rape.



Twice today you have posted that it's a woman's fault if she gets raped.



Edit: The fact that you stay silent both to me and don't defend your point, plus your history suggests that you have a real hatred for women.

Answer 28

I'd say the blame should be shared about 50 / 50

Answer 29

everyone has a mind no matter how niave one may be but the point is if you know your gonna dress like that or talk or drink like that then expect something to happen be it for better reasons or worse reasons, some women enjoy rape , some don't but if you want to avoid it you should be sensible enough to hang around friends, not drink too much unless in a sensible environment and also dress more modestly, just try not to be targeted as someone who will invite a stranger to them, but thats only if you want to avoid it.

Answer 30

Rape is really wrong but women shouldn't be drinking too much and getting themselves into situations where they are raped. Is it their fault though?...No because even is a girl is like that it doesn't mean she should be raped.

Answer 31

Hang on, are you saying women who dress immodestly, drink too much, are up late, invite men home etc. are asking to be raped?? Like its THEIR fault if some tw@t of a bloke rapes them?? I cant believe anyone actually thinks like this... Mental.



Is it my fault if I go to a shop, and some nutter with a gun purposely shoots me point blank in the face? Well, is it my fault for going to the shop? IS IT F*CK! ITS THE TW@TS FAULT!



You need your head seeing too mate...

Answer 32

To be fair:



1) Why shouldn't women go out wearing what THEY want to wear?

2) Why shouldn't they be allowed to drink so much.

3) What's wrong with women being up too late?

4) Maybe they think the man they are inviting home are DECENT guys who won't take advantage of them!



Now there's something to think about.

Answer 33

Rape is an act of violence.



Are you to blame if you are shot and you are not wearing body armor?

Answer 34

Rape is wrong, No means No and as men we should all understand this. No woman regardless of dress , behaviour etc deserves to be raped....

Answer 35

Peace through superior firepower

Answer 36

why you are blaming womens instead of that teach mens to respect women............

Answer 37

I wouldnt know how to tell you since you cant rape the willing, I am usually willing.

Answer 38

A woman should be able to dress how she wants without fear of being raped. Drinking too much and asking men back to your house voluntarily are also very different to rape. Nothing gives a man the right to rape a woman. I find your question insensitive to those on here who have been raped, and you need to learn a better attitude.

Answer 39

And why do some men not understand the meaning of the word NO

Answer 40

None.



sod your agenda!

Answer 41

How does this question relate to Religion and Spirituality?

Answer 42

if some one is breaking into your car you cant stop them, if they are trying to force you into sex you can tell them NO!

so therefore they are not responsible at all.

Answer 43

its pretty simple,you have a man and a woman,the man asks do you want to have sex,she says yes they have sex .the woman says no ,you dont have sex with her

Answer 44

well rapists are sick monsters, this is why women should be allowed to carry concealed weapons

Answer 45

women...

they get drunk and jump in bed promiscuously with some strange men, yet they don't tolerate men who pee in the bathtub

Answer 46

What time do you think women should go to bed, you petty Hitler?

Answer 47

You know what?

*drops shirt and shorts*

Answer 48

Yep!

Answer 49

Statistics say 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape!