Angry and Depressed Christian Needing Answers? Anyone Can Help?

Question

Hi :(
I'm Adam. I'm 36, a pediatric nurse, and a Christian.
I had surgery in the morning on the 19th because I have Stage 3 male breast cancer; my oncologist said I should try to get some of the cancer removed. I was in the hospital until this afternoon. I am really tired, but I really should be grateful too. Now I get to see my daughter Amber and my girlfriend Kristina because they didn't get to visit me in the hospital; they were both out of state.
At the same time, I'm pretty pissed off.
I was told by my oncologist that I would most likely need chemotherapy after the surgery. I didn't want chemotherapy. As a nurse, I treat patients who take chemotherapy. I'm not sure if it's because they're children, but the medicine takes all the energy out of you. It's extremely harsh. You lose your hair, you're constantly fatigued and sick. You can't really hold any food down. I know a lot of you will laugh at this...but I don't want to lose my hair. I'm really self-conscious about a lot of things, including the way I look.
So, I made sure I read the Bible and I prayed. I've been doing it a lot more than I normally do. I genuinely believed God would take away all the cancer through the surgery. He knows how much I didn't want to have to take chemotherapy.
Guess what though? I need chemotherapy. My oncologist said while a lot of the malignant cells were taken out during the surgery, it wasn't enough not to have treatment. If I don't have chemotherapy, the cancer will actually come back and it could kill me. But, he also said the chemotherapy could make me a lot sicker or weaker than I already am, and that could possibly kill me too, because my body wouldn't be able to handle it.
I'm not happy about this at all. Actually, I'm pretty depressed and angry.
I prayed a lot over the last 2 months this year. Nothing has really worked out for me and I'm getting really upset. I actually try to be the best Christian and follower of God that I can! He never answers my prayers. I'm getting really tired and impatient.
Actually, I'm thinking of not being Christian anymore and just converting to agnosticism. But no one I know in person knows that. I want to believe, but God's honestly not doing anything!
I need help. Anyone can help me, I'm really just done with all this.

Answer 1

Dear Adam

I don't have cancer that I know of so I can't imagine what you're going thru. But I do know that God's love is sufficient.



There are 3 personal testimonies that come to mind - 3 real people that have suffered terrible physical hardship- just as you are now. They all felt anger and frustration with God- just as you are. They all felt like giving up- just like you.



I think you would appreciate their stories because they have come thru the hardest part and are stronger for it. God didn't give up on them. Don't give up on Him. He can work good out of anything!



Check out the real and victorious lives of Joni Eareckson tada- Daniel Yamashiro and Nick Vujicic.



They have been right where you are now. They know what its like and they are now wonderful examples of God's grace and love:). You can be too! You can come thru this with God and be an inspiration to others- just like them:)



None of our suffering goes to waste when we trust God!

Answer 2

Gee , How can anyone know how you must feel unless they have gone through something similar. I think you need spiritual counseling but not of the Christian kind.

The way we have been taught about healing and God is not the way it works. We limit ourselves with our beliefs and then feel disappointed when things don't go that way. I am very sorry for your predicament.

Have you investigated any alternative things that will strengthen you for the chemo? Have you heard of essiac tea?

There are some very good teachers that can assist you with understanding things about mortality. Please check out the work of Gangaji and Eckhart Tolle.

I know you are depressed and angry and that doing stuff can be very hard.

Being a nurse in the allopathic system has benefits and limits. There exist other ways that may help you. Is there someone who can assist you in looking into alternatives?

I have heard interesting stories about the author Wayne Dyer and the individual called Abraham. I hope you can open your mind and accept something new into your consciousness.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

So sorry to hear of your condition. You said: "So, I made sure I read the Bible and I prayed. I've been doing it a lot more than I normally do. I genuinely believed God would take away all the cancer through the surgery."



Ask yourself honestly what would make you think that god would help you. Are you ignorant of all the faithful Christians who are starving to death, for instance? I'm not trying to sway your beliefs in one way or the other, just consider the evidence of god answering prayers. There really isn't any.



Everybody is agnostic whether they know it or not, whether they're atheist or theist. There is no "conversion" per se. Obviously nobody here can help you with your cancer, and especially not god. Christians die of cancer every day, and it's not for their lack of prayer & faith.



Good luck, and get well soon.

Answer 4

Deities and prayers don't really help anyone much... no offense but that's just the way it is. What's your diet like? One thing I was told is lemon juice kills cancer cells so if you drink some everyday the cancer will likely reduce soon. Also have other fruits, drink plenty of water and get more fresh air outdoors. I'm sure these things will really help and if possible let go of all anger and resentment you have. Not judging you just trying to help based on what I know about healing people from cancer.



I have my reservations about chemo too... if it really works then why do people get weaker and lose their hair from it, its not the right treatment imo... just have hope and try what I've suggested... if possible stop consuming meat and dairy products they've been linked to cancer... get well soon

Answer 5

You said you have a daughter so you have a reason to live so it shouldn't be about what you want but rather about being their for your daughter I would go with the chemotherapy. The other thing exploratory surgery can actually cause the cancer to spread quicker. My mother had stage 4 gallbladder cancer which metastasized to her liver and blood the eploratory surgery had actually shorten her life expectancy which the surgan gave her three years she only lived 9 months. Also she was on two differen chemotherapy which of course made her very sick but the thing is she didn't lose her hair. The doctors will try two different treatments and after that they give up on you which means your going to die. Without the chemotherapy you will be healthier before you get worse but you will eventually get worse without it.

Answer 6

A true Christian is one that God has made a Christian and He will never forsake the true believer, nor will the true believer ever think of not being a Christian any more. Please search your heart and if you are not a Christian then you need to seek the Lord and ask Him to save your soul.



When we are Christians and bad things happen to us we can rest in the knowledge that All things work together for good to them that love God



If this verse doesnt thrill your soul and help you understand that whatever happens in a Christians life, it is all for his or her good and you are not blessed in your heart with the Promises of God, then search your heart and make sure that your calling and elect is true.



My ways are not your ways says the Lord and my thoughts are not your thoughts. Keep trusting in Him who has got everything in His Hands, even your life!

Answer 7

Adam, my mother died of cancer when I was in my 20's, so I've come to appreciate how awful cancer is. It's not something I would wish on anyone...



The fact that you're "spilling your guts" in this question (and others) makes it very clear to me that you have nothing to hide.



And yet, when I click your profile, I get the message: "Sorry, nothing to see here! User's activity is private."



Can you un-hide your profile so I can get a better understanding of the history of your illness and your postings?



Thanks so much!!

Answer 8

Religious healing : 14:4 Then shall the priest command to take for him that is to be cleansed two birds alive and clean, and cedar wood, and scarlet, and hyssop:

14:5 And the priest shall command that one of the birds be killed in an earthen vessel over running water:

14:6 As for the living bird, he shall take it , and the cedar wood, and the scarlet, and the hyssop, and shall dip them and the living bird in the blood of the bird that was killed over the running water:

14:7 And he shall sprinkle upon him that is to be cleansed from the leprosy seven times, and shall pronounce him clean, and shall let the living bird loose into the open field.



You're an oncology nurse and you seriously believe all this stuff!?

by the way i don't think you 'convert' to agnosticism, you only de-convert from religious beliefs.

Do what the Doctor says.

Answer 9

I'm sorry for anyone who struggles with cancer and the aftermath.

I do know the Bible says on this earth it will rain on the 'just' and

the 'unjust'. Tune in to Joel Osteen if you can right now on tv. He's

addressing your very concerns.

Answer 10

I've just been through something I didn't want to be in either. I prayed about it a lot as well. I never got the answer I wanted, but I did get the comfort from his word that I needed to get through it. Honestly, I never would have prayed for patience, because I know it comes through tribulation. But on this side of all of it, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Answer 11

I'm so sorry you are going through this brother,I cannot imagine what you are going through. The only thing it seems you forgot dear brother is if it's His will to heal you. We don't understand why our Lord does what He does a lot of the time but we can know it will always work out for His glory and not ours. If you could give your life to your Lord would you? If your death means others would be saved and you would reap rewards in heaven would you? All the live in our Lord to you and your family.

Answer 12

Its just hair dude, what is a couple of hair compared to your life. I would hate it too if i were to lose my hair, but considering the risk, i would still take the chemo without second thoughts. I cant really give advise on religion, but i will wish you the best recovery.

Answer 13

Wow. Doctors and pills are great for people that don't believe God can heal them.



Wanna see cancer disappear before your very eyes to strengthen your faith?



Watch this:



http://www.awmi.net/extra/healing/hoesch





Edit: Satan has robbed believers of their power. If God didn't lead me to this website I'd be dead right now.

Answer 14

Keep praying. And before you make a mistake, remember: "We shall all stand before the judgment seat of God." Romans 14:10.

Answer 15

I`ll pray the best way how for u.

Answer 16

You need to join your sufferings to Jesus' sufferings on the cross, ask Him to help you bear them. And ask to know what His will is for you. If you belong to a church have people there pray for you, for your recovery, for coping with your illness.



Sorry. So sorry.

Answer 17

see_the_truth.webs.com





I also recommend yoga and meditation.

Answer 18

ALL gods are imaginary - it's what makes them ALL gods ;)



I am atheist cos there are no ‘gods’…

‘God’ is imaginary… http://godisimaginary.com/



Take the test, Luke... prove it to yourself.

It's easy and doesn't hurt even a little.

~

Answer 19

Son, it is by God's grace that I'm alive today. I wish you would hop on board the gospel train to paradise.