Pagan in a Christian Home with Recovering Addict. HELP?

Question

I am pagan. My roommate is Christian. He's also a recovering addict. I told the Landlord I was pagan prior to moving in. The roommate didn't know that I was pagan until days before I moved in. Neither have a problem with it. However, the roommate did ask that there be no drugs or alcohol in the home. Pagan rituals usually includes a "cakes and ale" part. What do I do? I want to be able to practice my belief without modification but at the same time I don't want to be disrespectful to my new roommate.

Answer 1

give up your pagan BS and find the real God



EDIT: the pagan police emailed me and said they were gonna report me for insulting pagans...roflmao



i did not insult you, i said to give up pagan BS. if you don't have any, then yer fine.

Answer 2

Most likely, your landlord and your room mate had no idea that there was a ritual that included alcohol.



However, you were very knowledgable of the cakes and ale part when you agreed to the no alcohol and no tobacco part.



Again, your room mate is a recovering addict and being around alcohol and tobacco could be a very large temptation for them. Just knowing it is in the apartment could be just to much temptation.



I would suggest that you use a juice in place of the ale part. It seems the most positive solution. There are also sparkling ciders and no alcohol ales available for you to choose from.



If you simply do not want to modify this part, you will have to perform your ritual at the home of a friend or in your vehicle.

Answer 3

Most Pagan rituals do not involve alcohol (or drugs). I'm not sure why this is even an issue. Cakes and Ale is very rarely taken literally and is often bread and cider or cookies and milk or something. Many of us have taken to calling it the "Simple Feast" instead to avoid confusion. Do you think those of us who have children use alcohol on our rites? Not likely.

Even many Christian churches pass out grape juice instead of wine these days. It's hardly a novel concept.

Answer 4

Hide the liquor or ale where your roommate will never find them. There's no reason he should have to go searching through your room. Otherwise you have no choice but to use something else, it isn't necessary that you use alcohol. Find out what the particular God or Goddess you are doing a ritual to likes and what other things you can use as an offering, some will be happy with an offering of apple juice or pure water.

Answer 5

You can use something non-alcoholic, like grape juice instead of wine, apple juice instead of cider, or there are some recipes for drinks with spices and so on but no alcohol all over the place. I don't think Them Upstairs have a problem with you not having alcohol in the ritual! alternatively, you could get a locked safe and have something for religious purposes only, like little minis, that he doesn't know about, and practise your rituals outside, or find someplace else to have them. Or just buy what you need on the day and use it immediately so it's never hanging around the house. It's going to be inconvenient, but you do need to respect his wishes and keep temptation out of his way.

Answer 6

You don't have to have cakes and ale, that's just a saying for after ritual food. Your after rit food can be anything. We've had after ritual Chinese Food before. This is not a requirement for Wicca to drink alcohol. If it were than no recovering alcoholics would be Wiccans and I know plenty. That would mean you wouldn't be able to practice while pregnant. You definitely don't need alcohol after a ritual



Why not cakes and Ginger Ale

Answer 7

I don't drink and as part of the grounding I just drink something I really like. For me its about getting back to the physical world and its symbolic more than anything else - what stops you from indulging in some OJ?



If its part of the ritual its the idea and symbolism that counts not what the particular beverage is.



PS the Methodist church historically doesn't advocate alcohol so they use non-alcoholic wine for communion.

Answer 8

You can perform your rituals and not incude alcohol. I am a practicing witch and at the same time, pregnant. I use any kind of fruit juice, milk, even water as my "ale" part of the ceremony. It's not a necessity to use alcohol in ritual, unless YOU make it part. You won't be sent to a place of eternal damnnation because you used grape juice in your ritual, seeing as there is no such place.

Answer 9

Substitutions can be made for cakes and ale. It's not heinous to do it. Sometimes, even children participate in pagan rituals. You can't give them "ale", can you?



Or find a group, do rituals out of home.



There are no deffinative pagan rules. You work with what you have. And that's good enough.

Answer 10

Don't let him know and keep the booze well hidden.



If you're doing it behind closed doors, he need not know.



And by the way, did he assume that because you're pagan, you WOULD have drugs or alcohol - or did I make a huge jump to an incorrect conclusion?



In any case, so long as you're being discreet about the wine, it's all good.

Answer 11

this is not a question that belongs in the myth and spirituality section, but one that belongs in the legal section.



The issue is not about what you believe, or what your roomate believes.



it is about:



1- what state you live in and the landlord-tenant laws there



2- what your lease that you signed says and who you signed it with



3- so long as there is nothing illegal about the "cakes and ale" part (you are over 21) then it is really tough **** for your roomate unless it is specifically a condition of the lease.



It sounds to me like you signed the lease before hearing of this restriction, and the landlord doesn't have house rules about it (maybe he does). then you could either get out of your lease if the landlord will let you to accomodate him, or just stay there and it is his problem as you had no prior knowledge of this condition and having "ale" in the house (for a legal drinker) is not something a person doesn't normally not do..

Answer 12

I would suggest performing your cakes and ale ritual at a fellow pagan's house, or doing it during a time when your roomate is going to be absent from the house for a while.



The last thing you want is to accidentally contribute to his fall back into addiction, then you will be the "Pagan" who killed the christian.

Answer 13

How often are the cake and ale rituals?

I think probably you should talk to the roomate about it. Unless cake an ale is an everyday thing I would hope that he would be able to deal with it.

Answer 14

You have your own room don't you. Do your rituals in there. And why did you inform your landlord you are pagan. That makes no sense.

Answer 15

While I am Christian and compel you to search the Bible for the Truth. Until then, if you must, I would find another place possibly to perform the rituals. Aside from your Christian roomate being Christian, he is also a recovering addict. You do not want to be responsible for him coming to a bad end or failing in his attempts to better himself?



Surely you can see the danger and utter foolishness is giving a drunk a drink.

Answer 16

Use manischewitz wine. It's tasty enough but the alcohol content is almost nil. Also, your room mate can start practicing this little thing we like to call, self control.

Answer 17

well,



drink wine and eat bread and say



"this is my body", do this in remembrance of me...



christianity is actually full of pagan influences, death/life stuff from egyptian, gnostic and mystic backgrounds



christmas and easter are extremely pagan, nothing to do with jesus but put in place by catholics to try and eradicate or replace the pagan traditions



almost nothing that christians celebrate is 'christian' but pagan or other



you could study this a bit and open up dialogue



you may have to bite your tongue a bit, but at least stress balance, fairness and equality of things



say "I will listen to you but you must also listen to me or we will respectfully just have to agree to disagree and honor each other's wishes

Answer 18

hmm thats nice u 2 respect eachother. id say try to do your ritual elsewhere for the time being.

Answer 19

can you not do this when he isn't home? that way he's not offended and you can do your thing.by the way Jesus drank wine, and even made wine out of water for a wedding party. so you're friend shouldn't be too offended, unless that's what he is recovering from.

Answer 20

Most of these were great suggestions.However,you should not do it in your vehicle!You CAN get in trouble with an open container of alcohol even if you are not driving.But you are probably sensible enough to know that anyway.

Answer 21

You can substitute juice, milk, or herbal tea for the ale. It's not a hard & fast rule that you HAVE to have an alcholic beverage.



How about carbonated juice?

Answer 22

Thats insane. Cakes an ale can mean cookies and apple juice. I think you're trolling that you can't figure that out.

Answer 23

ritual and symbol are the thing , no reason not to use non-alcohol versions.

Answer 24

Remember the pagans of ancient times all converted to Christianity; think about it!

Answer 25

pagan cakes and ale? sounds yummy

Answer 26

I appreciate your sensitivity...........but find a new roommate

Answer 27

go to a secluded place, you do have the freedom of religion

Answer 28

He can go to an AA meeting. Sucks to be him. Did you make him the addict? No.