What is the funniest thing you have read in a religious book?

Question

18:86 Till, when he reached the setting-place of the sun, he found it setting in a muddy spring, and found a people thereabout. We said: O Dhu'l-Qarneyn! Either punish or show them kindness.

Answer 1

Since you think it is alright to make fun of other's religion, I read Dawkins and Hawkins religious books and they were very funny. They suggested complexity and order beyond measure, but they were all caused by a cosmic accident. A hodgepodge of chaos created order.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I like the excerpts on religion in Carl Sagan's books. What an idiot. Excuse me, but really.



Evolution as a Religion (Routledge Classics)

~ Mary Midgley



"Midgley begins by noting that "I had been struck for some time by certain remarkable prophetic and metaphysical passages that appeared suddenly in science books about evolution, often in their last chapters. Though these passages were detached from the official reasoning of the books, they seemed still to be presented as science.""





You will laugh out loud at the unbelievable stupidity

Answer 4

Deuteronomy 23:1 -- "He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not be admitted into the house of the Lord."



Imagine if churches really observed that. Regular members, having already been screened, wouldn't suffer inconvenience. But imagine an adult male who is travelling, spends Saturday night in a strange town, and wants to attend church on Sunday. What would he do? Drop his pants at the door, I suppose, just to reassure everyone that he was qualified to enter.

Answer 5

1)The story of the Seven Sleepers in the Cave actually making it's way into the Koran...



2)In the apocryphal Arabic Gospel of the Infancy the magi took the foreskin of the newly circumcised Jesus and brought it back to Persia and it became an eternal fire...



See I'm a Christian but not afraid to give answers I know the unbelievers will jump on...

Answer 6

Ezekiel 23:19-20

"Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions."



A verse this erotic is completely unexpected in a so-called holy book, and you really have to wonder how old Zeek knew so much about the genitals and seminal emissions of Egyptian men.

Answer 7

The entire bible is a laugh, so are the books on Mormons beliefs and Oh God (pardon the pun) the books on Creationism gets me every time....

Answer 8

Walking on water . . .



You know, I haven't quite mastered this feat but I once saw a little waterbug do it. Amazing.

Answer 9

The story of Job is pretty funny, in a sort of sadistic way.

Answer 10

I must say I found the story of Lot's daughters getting him drunk in order to have sex with him hilarious....

Answer 11

I thought I was reading a joke book really.

Answer 12

Genisis

God created the earth in 7 days (when people think it's actually 7 - 24 hour days)



a day is nothing to God, 7 days to him could mean 7 thousand/million/billion/trillion years to us

Answer 13

religious books are like comics, if u wanna good passtime on a sunday, u can make a scientist unwind with these....

Answer 14

In Buddhist scripture, we have Buddha talking to an elephant.



The elephant has been made drunk by Buddha's enemies and they expected him to kill him.

But Buddha talks to the elephant and calms him down.

Also, he talks to the elephant in verses.

Answer 15

Too many to count bit I will have to go with the title..... The bible

Answer 16

I tried reading the first page once i just couldnt get through it. total knee-jerker.

Answer 17

"My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him."



Song of Solomon 5:4

Answer 18

Noah's ark

Answer 19

That church folks don't know they're funny.



When I found out that church people are not aware they are funny, I just about fell off my chair laughing.

.

Answer 20

Talking donkey.

Answer 21

I like the one about the talking, burning bush....gets me every time.

Answer 22

Balaam and his talking donkey rank right up there.

Answer 23

he tied his *** to a tree and walked to jerusalam,must have had a very stretchy bum

Answer 24

It's all pretty funny cover to cover.

Answer 25

talking snakes and burning bushes.

Answer 26

that jesus really exist...thats hilarious