are there any intelligent and realistic people out here?

Question

I have a hypothetical question so I don't need any diatribes,please.
If you are the parents of an unborn child and you discover that it is severely deformed.
Will aborting it though seemingly cruel be in fact kinder than sentencing it to a life of torment and sadness?
Will keeping it, given your total commitment to love and care for it,be good enough. Don't the baby deserve something better, an even chance to survive and enjoy a life of normalcy?
If, one day , the child ask you why is God so cruel to him/her,what will your answer be when you then realize that you had the chance to prevent her misery but you did not.

Intelligent and objective answers are welcome from both sides of the argument be it pro-choice or pro-life.
No sermons, please.
Thank you.

Answer 1

Think of the deformed child as a different kind of person, one that will never know what it feels like to be "normal" so will not know what they are missing. They will be content with what they have unless someone makes them feel discontented.



You cannot allow it to die or activly kill the child just because it is different.

Answer 2

I honestly do not know what I would do. I can say that successful detection of birth defects- especially chromosomal abnormalities is far from 100% accurate. Also, having worked with developmentally and physically challenged children for a decade or two- I have never encountered the 'woe is me' mentality you are talking about in the children. I've seen it from their over stressed and scared parents- but not the children. I don't think this is a question about if the child deserves better- I think the real problems happen when the parents feel that they deserved better. Even when your heart and desire are in the right place, it does not mean you are actually capable of raising a special needs child.

Answer 3

I was taught in church (and by my mother) that abortion was only ok if, you were raped or the birth puts your life in danger....



as for me, i would abort it.....how deeply it would hurt, but i would know that my baby was with JESUS, in peace.......not living a life of pain, and people being cruel and making fun of it....in the King James Version Bible, when Job was going through all his trouble, he said this....



Job 3:11 Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?



Job 3:12 Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts that I should suck?



Job 3:13 For now should I have lain still and been quiet, I should have slept: then had I been at rest,







people can call me cruel, but to be with JESUS, is better than anything that this world could ever offer....God Bless

Answer 4

It's an excellent question and I don't believe that there is one right answer.



I have a developmentally disabled daughter. There have been times when her pain (caused by others) has been so strong that I question if she might have been better off not being born. Those days, however, are few and far between and most days she is a happy, loving, joyful young woman. So, in my mind, the pleasure far outweighs the pain.



All lives have pain, setbacks and challenges. All we can do as parents is to equip our children with the best possible tools to face those things.

Answer 5

This is a horrendously difficult question.

The first point that should never be ignored is that life in itself is good. Quality of life is a secondary issue - important for sure, but secondary. So many have a great quality of life and yet lead genuinely miserable lives.

The second point to consider is what makes life worth living?

If you think hard and honestly about it, it is not quality of life, but how we are valued in life. If we have people around us that value us, who value our very existence - not simply because of what we can do for them, then we derive great value from life.

The people who are to be pitied are not the handicapped, but those that have never experienced a moment of love, a moment of respect, a moment of good-will from others, a moment of feeling wanted or valued.

Here's the sermon bit: it is our job to express God to those around us, to give them a sense of value - not pity or simply runing after them - if you can do that (and it sounds like you can) then you should have no further doubts about bringing the child into the world.

Answer 6

I am the parent of a very disturbed 21 year old who survived fetal alcohol syndrome, a tortured infancy, a less that perfect toddler experience. She came to me after being abandoned in a first adoption. She was tormented and terrorized in that experience. She came to me as if she was an arrow shot from a bow.



I had a comfortable life in paid for condo. I owned my car and truck free and clear. I traveled and was very social. I have paid for all her treatment in her growing up years and serial hospitalizations since she turned 18. I am no longer as comfortable financially. I am physically spent and emotionally fragile. It is much like a rewrite of Job. I don't believe in accidents. All things happen as they will because the cosmos is intelligent, has innate fractional intentions and outcomes are a product of the spiritual (beingness) expression in the cosmos. Bundles of life are not accidental. They are all teachable moments.

Answer 7

I would want to keep the child. It might be cruel in some people's eyes, but all life contains both suffering and joy, and I would not want to be the judge of what is worth bearing in life.

I am not religious, so I would tell the child that it was not something they did, and it was not something God did either.

I would hang a picture of Stephen Hawking in the wall, to remind them that there are great things that can be done no matter how you were born.

Answer 8

There is no right or wrong answer to this one, and God himself has left that decision up to the parents. Funny thing is that even people who are handicapped, deformed, etc., love their lives. Sometimes they are put here for us "normal" ones to learn from. Some suffer until God calls them home while others display the most angelic nature this side of eternity. You ask for intelligence and objective answers, but this question lies in the realm of the heart and spirit also. It lies in the realm of love and faith, as well as reason. Consider your question in this light and you might come to a different conclusion.

Answer 9

In some of the ancient ninja villages, children were given a test. When an infant was born it was immediately thrown into a pond. If it could not swim, it would drown and die. This was how inferior humans was filtered out, thus ensuring the strength of the clan.



Your "severely deformed" child would almost certainly drown and die.



Morals and ethics are entirely relative. I have no problem with culling the herd.

Answer 10

It is not up to us to decide if innocent people (which unborn babies are) can live or die. This is called murder. I know that there are cases where a baby is severely deformed, and it's sad. But we should not decide the life or death of an innocent child.



God is not a cruel God. People who think this miss the big picture, completely. We have to realize that life on earth is a temporary, and relatively short-lived, life. And we have the clear opportunity to have an awesome life afterwards.



There was a wrestler born without legs or the forearms/hands. This is obviously pitiful. However, rather than cursing God, he wrestled. He wrote a book. He became an inspiration. He praised God.



Life on earth isnt perfect. There was only one time where it was, and humans screwed it up.



Mercy killing is still murder.

Answer 11

I believe it is a test for the parents, from God. It is a very difficult choice but through prayer anything can happen. I heard a story similar to this, the doctor told the parents the child would be deformed according to there latest ultra-sound ,they refused the doctors opinion to abort, the parents continued to term praying along the way, on the day of delivery the child was healthy and normal, I believe it was a test of trust and hope.

Answer 12

There's no good answer here that fits all situations.

Sadly Christianity seems to be a system for making cookies but all are the same size and shape.

If I marry multiple women I'm a sinner but the friend of God King David had thousands of wives.

Even in scripture what's wrong for one isn't wrong for others.

To answer this I would have to be in the situation so I could hear my spirit tell me what to do, and then the answer I get wouldn't be the answer everyone would get.

Just listen to the love, it knows the answers.

Answer 13

I would abort the child if they are guarenteed to have a lifetime of physical pain and emotional suffering. I would not let my child suffer physical and emotional pain under any circumstances; even if it means aborting them early in my pregnancy. But it would be a decision difficult to deal with for a long time. And I am a pro-choice LaVeyan Satanist.

Answer 14

Although I fully believe that "convenience abortions" are the lowest form of murder, your question is different. I could never condemn someone who has that choice to make, although I would hope that she would at least attempt to find someone who would want and take the child. This could not be an institution though, it would have to be a couple of higher than average means.

Answer 15

Liar sport. there is in simple terms a manga, yet i think of this is the main comparable element to loss of existence word concerning how plots turns and all, this is quite super so far i'm at financial disaster 104- Btw what you're searching for is reported as 'psychological' anime. x

Answer 16

You assume that deformity necessitates torment and sadness. This is incorrect. To deny the right of life to the child does necessitate that it will experience next to nothing. I would argue that is far worse. I can't comprehend how not allowing the baby to live is better than experiencing some amount of hardships but still having life. To me that is saying that it is better to kill oneself if one can't always get what one wants. Life is something that shouldn't be done away with regardless of the condition it exists in.



There is no such thing as killing out of mercy, only killing out of selfishness.



That is my simple-minded opinion on this matter.



+God Bless

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!

Answer 17

The unborn baby is a human life. Whether or not you believe that life was given by God, it is one of us. Assuming its condition is compatible with life, how does killing it show any love? Do we know that death is better than life for it? Do we have a right to deny it life? Denying it the opportunity to be loved, and ourselves the opportunity to love it.

However you look at it, abortion is kiiling a life, and in the example you give, because we are deeming its life not worth living because of the quality of life we think it will have. Who has the right to make such a decision? No-one I think.

Answer 18

this would be an extremely hard choice, and i think that i would not know what i would do, unless it happened to me.....but i can tell you, that i know of people this happens to, they were in the first couple of months of pregnancy, and found out that the unborn child had only a 10% chance of being normal, and a 30% chance of only having a couple problems....and they decided to have an abortion

Answer 19

It depends on what your version of 'normal' really means. I know plenty of mentally and physically disabled people who are happier than I am. By any ones standards I'm a 'normal', well read and intelligent human being. But I would never have asked my parents why they brought me into this world, but I ask God constantly. How can you ask your parents why they brought you into this world? That question seems totally biological and non spiritual.

Answer 20

why do people blame God for their misery?



(Job 34:10) Therefore, YOU men of heart, listen to me. Far be it from the [true] God to act wickedly, And the Almighty to act unjustly!



(1 John 5:19) We know we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the [power of the] wicked one.



(Ecclesiastes 9:11) I returned to see under the sun that the swift do not have the race, nor the mighty ones the battle, nor do the wise also have the food, nor do the understanding ones also have the riches, nor do even those having knowledge have the favor; because time and unforeseen occurrence befall them all.

Answer 21

I have been in situations where it has torn a family apart as the 'challenged' child takes all the effort of the parents where they ignore, or can't get involved with the others. In this case many lives were destryed and the child passed away in there early teens never knowing life.



There is a big difference between being alive and living. To keep someone alive just because you can is inhuman as far as I'm concerned... we treat animals with more compassion...

Answer 22

well its impossible to tell it all depends on the actual situation of the child. although basicly what you are suggesting is the killing of deformed children before they are born. my mom works with mentally retarted children and deformed kids and they are the sweetest children you ever will meet and this day in age i dont think anyone but a couple would mock them just utterly ignore them. i think the problem would be their personal thoughts on themselves so again its impossible to tell with out knowing that childs personality. and as for the kid asking why they didnt kill her or him. i would say because i need you or because your insides are dazaling. as many parents of deformed children think and usually it is true.

Answer 23

But the thing is that you don't know if God wanted the child to be that way - for whatever reason. If you believe in karma, maybe the child was a recycled spirit of someone who had done terrible things to others, and had to come back that way to learn their lesson. Having an abortion puts the person in the Godly place of deciding whether or not this potential being has the right to live.

Answer 24

The simplest answer that I can think of is this. If your argument is applicable to a fetus, then it should be applicable for an infant. Is it better to smother a deformed 6 month old in order to spare her a life of torment and sadness? Your arguments are essentially for euthanasia.

Answer 25

I am, pro-life, and I have worked with severely and moderately disabled people. I would terminate the pregnancy because there is NO quality of life for these people you describe hypothetically. There is emotional (though rare) and physical pain and the cost to keep them comfortable is unbelievable. I know it sounds harsh but I'm speaking from a caretaker perspective. As someone who has seen these people left behind by family, cared for by nurses and aides and lie in a bed day after day with NO quality of life. Ughhhh....just terrible.

Answer 26

Where does a baby Life come from, ask yourself Where were u before u was born. A baby deserve a chance of life..... God will Bless u

Answer 27

The most intelligent answer i can give you is - I do not know. I've never been pregnant, so i've never had to make a decision like that. And i'm sure i won't know the answer till it happens.

Answer 28

It would not be my place to take the life of that unborn child. God is the giver and taker of life and I would not commit murder on that unborn child. If that child is born it is because God wills that child to be born. If that child is lost to miscarriage that would also be God's will.

Answer 29

We can't speak for anybody else.



none of us can decide that something is too cruel for somebody else to bear.



However, if the problem is financial then why not just wait to have the baby?



Pro-choice atheist.

Answer 30

I would not kill my child just because he or she wasn't formed normally. He or she would still be a thinking person, capable of love. Just as I would not abort a baby of mine that the doctors said would have Down Syndrome, epilepsy, or a congenital heart defect.

Only a short-sighted person would think the mis-formed person was doomed to an unhappy life.

Answer 31

personally, I would put the thing out of it's misery before it has a chance to flourish. There are too many people who hate themselves already. And in regards to whether that's inhumane, I stand with Bill Hicks. "You're not human til you're in my phone book."

Answer 32

My answer to you is to stop feeling sorry for people with disability and start accepting that we are not all perfect.



And don't ask question of such life changing significance if you don't expect people to get passionate about the answer.



Your stipulation has left me unable to communicate as I wish. So that means to me that you don't really want peoples answers just an agreement with your own view.

Answer 33

Observe the practices of other animals in nature and follow your heart. Your decision will be supported by our God.

Answer 34

Being an intelligent and realistic person to start with, KNOWING I have a heritable disorder that would likely be passed on, I chose sterilization!

BB

)O(

Answer 35

A difficult choice and one I can't predict what I would do...I would only know if ever in the situation...

Answer 36

it isn't so black and white for me



as someone who is pro choice but also someone who sees the potential and capablities in disabled people



I simply dont judge others who make this decision , because they are NOT me , and may not be able to cope with a severely disabled child

Answer 37

yes.... well the problem is that most abortions happen very early. earlier than warning signs of deformities can be detected.

Answer 38

Wow, that's a tough question..Do whatever feels right in your HEART. God Bless :)

Answer 39

If God gave the child life, who am I (or you) to tell Him He was wrong?

Answer 40

Hmm... God has nothing to do with it... the chromosomes and genetics do...

Answer 41

I think I saw one this morning. She's gone, though.

Answer 42

I'd flush the freak....

Answer 43

People are only intelligent and realistic if they confess their sins to their Heavenly Father.



Bless them, Father, for they have sinned.