How do you handle a forced prayer situation (at work) when you would rather not participate?

Question

We recently had a Christmas potluck at work in which we were all told to take a seat before we ate our meal "for a special announcement". I was expecting to be BS'd about what a good job we were doing and how we should have a happy holiday. What I got instead was something that still confuses me. We were told to bow our heads in a moment prayer before we ate. I don't understand how a company can force people to do this. Of course they didn't hold guns to our heads, but the effect was the same. I felt like I had no choice but to sit there while the prayer was in progress. I know, I know... I should respect other's beliefs but what about those people who are not respecting mine? I think it's arrogant for any Christian (or other religion) to assume that nobody will mind praying because the majority are of that faith. I'm sure they wouldn't like it if I just stood up after and said, "OK, now I'd like everyone to join me in a moment of ‘nothing in particular’. Just sit there quietly or turn to the person next to you and thank them for bring the broccoli soufflé. Or you could just laugh at something you heard earlier in the day that you thought was funny." I don't know how many people would appreciate or respect me for forcing them to do something as pointless as that. And believe me; I'm not saying that, for those who believe, prayer is pointless. I think it's necessary for certain people to have something they can turn to in times of need; something that gets them through -- when suicide or murder are the only viable options. I'm just sick of being forced to participate in something that I would rather not participate in. Should I stand up and asked to be excused? Should I sit there quietly and look around (judging everyone with their heads down)? Should I be the first one in the line by filling my plate while the rest of the people are praying?

How do you handle a forced prayer situation (at work) when you would rather not participate?

Answer 1

Even the Bible says that this is the wrong thing to do:



Matthew 6:5-6

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.



Like masturbation, prayer belongs behind closed doors either alone or with other like-minded individuals.

Answer 2

They can pray at home. I'm here to work not be subjected to The American Taliban. If it persists then a simple switch over to SABOTAGE mode should suffice.

Answer 3

1. I am a Rabbi, so prayer is kinda my thing....

2. In case of a prayer in which someone like Jesus is mentioned, I simply walk out - doing otherwise is a tacit agreement with praying to one other than HaKodesh Boruchu.

3. If your preferences are unknown to the company, it is insensitive but excusable.

4. I find that the best offense is a good education. If you hold adverse views - let someone in authority know and find a way to accommodate you.

5. If you work in a government office, you may have a recourse.

6. Bring a book. If they start to pray, whip it out and begin to read as a nonverbal cue of your non-participation.

Answer 4

hmmm, 'great gig' says this is a 'rant' and you are 'petty' ...I think this is at the crux of the matter. Clearly you are simply describing facts. Equally clearly, they weren't praying to Thor or Ra or Muhammad. It offends me greatly, but you were trapped. Talk to an attorney if you have the money and the inclination. Otherwise, suck it up and keep your job.

Answer 5

I would not allow anyone to force religion upon me. That is unconstitutional, so if anyone went to extremes, I would file a lawsuit. I have the right not to pray to any gods that anyone tries to force upon me. EDIT: I see by the thumbs down that we have too many tyrants who want to try to force their religion upon everyone. I advise them not to try doing that to my friends and me in person. You are only showing your base nature by giving thumbs down to people who resent such tyranny as is discussed in the question. I thought God gave people free will.

Answer 6

Out of respect sit quietly, whether or not you bow your head or pray. I can't see that this was forced prayer as none was spoken. You had the option of praying to whoever or what ever you wanted to or not your choice.

Answer 7

Simple. Don't participate. Sit there. Look around. I like to yawn. Then take your boss aside and point out how damned inappropriate it is to force prayer on those who do not pray. Maybe the idiot will learn something.

Answer 8

Even as a Christian, that seems unwise. Making unbelievers pray when you have a position of authority is not only pointless, it's dangerous because they like to sue you for "forcing" your religion on them. Prayer should come from the heart. And, that's not really possible when one is forced, as in your case. Then they like to file a lawsuit, or try and get someone fired for something silly. Please don't be one of them. If you were uncomfortable, I'm sure it was not meant to do you any harm. But, I would respectfully let your boss know about it.



Jesus never told us to bow our heads when we pray anyway, so I'm not sure why so many people tell others to do so before praying. Seems like a pointless religious tradition to me. I can pray with my eyes wide open if I want. If you want to pray to God, there isn't a special way to hold your body. Just pray.

Answer 9

Oh, I lived more than 30 years of my life as an atheist, and encountered many such situations. As you've noted, there are several things one can do in a situation such as this. One can make a fuss, demand to be heard ... or sit quietly, taking this opportunity to reflect upon your own beliefs/good fortunes/recipe for quiche/etc ... all the while showing others a bit of respect. It's never wrong to choose the high road.





Added:



My sons are atheists, and each day before we eat, we say grace. I am thanking God for the many blessings in our lives. My sons take this opportunity to remember those who toiled without end to meet their needs: the farmers; ranch hands, pickers, packers, truckers, their mother ...



Is it really so distasteful for anyone to use a moment of silence to quietly reflect upon such things?

Answer 10

Don't participate. Just sit there quietly and contemplate what type of dessert you want.



That's what I do at every family gathering: My mother, sister, and brother-in-law are all Christian/Catholic, and so at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, they always pray; I just lower my head slightly and think about what I want to chat about.

Answer 11

I sit/stand quietly and respect their right to pray. However, I do not pretend, I do not close my eyes or bow my head, is just sit/stand quietly until it's over.

Answer 12

A private business can do whatever it wants to do, unless it is funded with public money. You don't have to pray, you can just sit there silently and go over your Christmas shopping list in your head.

Answer 13

I've been here 4 years and this is the first 'forced prayer' at work rant I have ever seen.

My advice, if you are so petty, quit and find another job if it insults you. You have no right either to make a scene or to complain.

If people say grace, you have to live with it or move on.

Answer 14

lawsuit.