Question:
Are women who marry Muslim men forced to convert to Islam?
yanially
2007-04-03 23:53:01 UTC
Are they weak minded? Don't misunderstand me! Muslim women I know are good people. I treasure there friendship!
However my husband is Muslim, at first relgion was not problem. Now the subject cannot be brought up without an arguement. I believe its going to end our marriage! The more he talks about me converting to Islam, the more it makes me want to be a better, stronger Christian!!
36 answers:
Ivri_Anokhi
2007-04-04 08:54:30 UTC
Of course they are! Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) owned and traded slaves. He commanded that women and children be taken as slaves in battle, and allowed them to be raped after capture. His followers continued the practice for centuries until it was forced to an end in most regions by European armies.



Unfortunately, slavery still persists in dark corners of the Muslim world today, such as Niger, the Sudan, and Mauritania. And, most tellingly, none of the articles by contemporary Muslim apologists (giving their religion retroactive credit for abolition) even bother to address the subject of modern slavery, much less condemn it.



Just like their slave-owning predecessors, today's Muslims are too preoccupied with the promotion of their magnificent religion to be concerned about the plight of slaves - or anyone else suffering under Islamic rule.
2007-04-04 02:56:55 UTC
If you are christain your husband is wrong here he has no right to force you, cuz Islam allows a man to marry a believer woman (believer means a woman who believe in any Holy Book like christains belive in Bible not Quran) so u could mary a christain or jew etc; However a muslim man cant mary a non beliver woman like Hindus who dont belive in any book, or people who dont believe in any God. Tell your husband to refresh his Knowledge. A muslim woman on the other hand can mary a muslim man only not even to a beliver of the book hope u got...



Now i would suggest u not to talk about religious issues to ur hubby and same time he cant force u to change ur religion as Islam dont accept this, One thing I m sure if a husband is true practising muslim its very very difficult for a wife to resist her from accepting Islam cuz i no Islam has its own attraction so v dont need to force any one, Truth makes its way itself; these are very few people who call themselves muslim and dont even understands the basics of Islam, an Irony the Islam is facing.



May i conclude here that if u are a non beliving woman, than this marriage is void in Islam and he will be supposed a sinful to be with you, just like any other non marital affair........and if u r a beliving woman(one who believe in any of the Holy Books) your husband cant force u and this marriage is perfect and I wish lot of happiness and Understanding for you both.
dude
2007-04-06 14:15:32 UTC
I believe it is a mistake to marry a person of another religion, but it is workable.



The children in Muslim families are meant to take their father's religion (especially the male children). In a Muslim country, he as the man and as the Muslim would have automatic custody.



The woman can remain Christian. Yasser Arafat's wife was Christian, but she didn't talk about things like the Crucifixion or Easter that went against Muslim teachings.



I would advise my children not to marry Muslims (and especially daughters).
Yuri
2007-04-06 06:37:47 UTC
In my general opinion I would say yes, although "forced" maybe is not the right word, it's more of a natural thing you are expected to do in Islam. Having said this, I'm a bit amazed at the contradictory answers you get from Muslims themselves.

This forcing thing you should have known in advance, before you got married, also the fact that your children are supposed to become Muslims also. This is general knowledge.

As long as you live in a Western country your civil rights are guaranteed, for he cannot force you to do anything you don't want to.
2007-04-12 00:01:49 UTC
cos in this day and age the marraige is not recognised. a muslim can only marry another muslim in the eyes of islam.

Technically he is commiting adultery



there are verses in the quraan where it talks about marrying christians but the idea of that was cos the muslims where at war with some other countries and many christian women at the time were widowed and unable to look after themselves so that is no longer recognised.
MusliM...SalaFi
2007-04-04 00:22:37 UTC
Islam differentiate between the non-Muslims from people of the book (Jews and Christians) and other non-Muslims. This because people of the book are more closer to believe in the oneness of God than other religions, since ther origins are believer in only ONE GOD "Allah".



Muslims men are allowed to marry or keep as a wife in case of converted to Islam a non-Muslim woman only if she is either Jews or Christians only.



Second thing, there is nothing called in Islam forced conversion to Islam.



All of this are clearly stated in Qurran.



If he is a real Muslim he will try to convert you but he will not force you.
Gunny
2007-04-04 00:21:35 UTC
Most muslim men are taught that if they marry out side their faith. Their spouse must be made to convert to Islam. Other wise you will be always looked upon as a Christian infidel. And won't be accepted by many of his Muslim friends. Oh, they might be polite to you, but their going to put the presure on him. I 'm really surprised that he did not try to get you to covert before you got married. If you look in to that relgion you will find that you just became his property. (or in his mind you did) and now he expects you to change to his ways. I'm willing to bet, that sooner or later he's going to really push you to convert. It will be a life changing point for you. Be sure you think it through and make the right choice. In reality you should not have to choose. He should respect your relgion as much as you respect his. That in its self should be enough. Sadly with his teachings it won't be.......Good luck and God bless
SAEED AbdulRahim
2007-04-04 03:32:35 UTC
Assallam-o-Allaikum:



Peace and Blessings be upon Prophet Mohammad and on Prophet Jesus (Islamic Name Issa) and on Prophet John the Baptist (Islamic Name Yahya) and upon "ALL" of the Prophets.



The Quran is very clear that "There is no Compulsion in Religion", (see 1 below)so, If your Husband is "Forcing" you to convert then he is acting against this injunction of the Quran.



Furhermore, the Quran instructs Muslims to engage in a Dialogue with non-Muslims with "Wisdom and Beautiful Preaching"(see 2 below), and if your Husband is talking "down" to you or is being "Argumentative" then he is flouting this instruction of the Quran as well.



Also, one of Prophet Mohammad's wife was Maria who was a Coptic Christian, and there is no evidence in history to suggest that he ever forced her to convert.



Another verse of the Quran ordains Muslims to take a middle course in the conduct of their affairs stating that "Have we to-day made you (O! Belivers) into a People of Englightened Moderates"(see 3 below) - So, how can your husband claim to be following this verse of the Quran if he is being heavy handed with you and "forcing" you to convert.



Any Conversion that is effected by Force is not only "Null and Void" but is "Illogical" as well, because the one who is Forced will automatically revert back to their own faith once the Force is removed.



One of the practices to be followed by a Person administering the "Two Shahdahs" to a new Muslim is first to ask the new person if they are doing so of their own Free Will, and if there is any doubt about this free choice then he should NOT administer the Two Shahdahs.



It could be that the husband in your case is acting out of "Cultural Preassures" rather than acting on Islamic knowledge.



let us Pray not only for your Husband but for ALL Muslims who seek to put preassure on non-Muslims that May God guide them and all of us that we become Ambassadors of "Good Will" for Islam rather than acting in a way that causes distresses to God's Creatures - Amen!!!
warriorprincess
2007-04-04 00:53:19 UTC
There is no greater freedom in life other than having Jesus as our Lord. As christian women we are called to submit to our husbands but our first commandment is to love our God. Something must have gone wrong in your relationship or with him that he now wants to control you in this way. When someone has to control someone else it's a good indication that their life is slipping out of their control. Submission does not mean accepting treatment as a doormat either. The one thing you can do in this situation is pray and read your bible. Peter speaks about marriage in the bible on several occasions and so does Paul. But the most important thing is to pray for your husband God can do so much more than we can. My marriage to an unbeliever is living proof.

There is one book I can suggest to you "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormy O'Martian. This is a brilliant book and should answer lots of your questions. But first and foremost pray and get peace.
Humz
2007-04-03 23:59:12 UTC
No they're not forced to convert. Its not recommended and actually discouraged in the holy book, several times for muslims to marry someone from another faith, no matter how much they have in common or like each other. It be comes a major issue later on especially when rasing children comes into the picture.



No forced conversions. Hope this helped.
coolred38
2007-04-07 23:34:34 UTC
men who marry non muslim women may in general think they can remain married to her without her converting....love and all that pretty much controlling his thoughts and actions at that time....however, once they are married there are forces at work that she may no little about. That force is called....IN LAWS! (cue the scream music here). no matter what he told you he will be under extreme pressure from family to convert you in order to make sure the kids(if there are any) are safely brought up muslim. It may not be him personally that wants you to convert(all though alot of times it is him) it may be more his family. have you discussed that possiblity with him? its extremely hard for couples of different faiths, cultures, races etc to make a marriage work without friction...it requires tons of compromising which alot of couples arent willing to do....the old "Im right...end of discussion" argument has ended many marriages. You need to discuss t his when passions arent heated and everyone is thinking calmly...explain your point of view and listen to his and see if you can come to some sort of compromise. if not then divorce may be in your future as you said. its just too big a hurdle for some couples to work out.



answer to your question though...is no, you are not forced to convert under any circumstances. there is no argument he can present to you to support that.
Ruchjat
2007-04-04 00:26:35 UTC
No muslim man could not force no muslim woman to convert her religion into IslamIf a young man muslim has a girl friend he should discuss the different religion with her before they are getting married. In line with islamic teaching Allah the only one God spoke in the holy qur'an that a muslim man is for muslim woman and a muslim woman is only for a muslim man.You as a christian can get married with a muslim man if you converted without force before getting married.You were wrong too late to discuss it after you got married.But before you get divorce you must reconsider again and again if you have had children.Allah permits divorce but Allah hates it.You must study well the holy qu'an and hadeth and you must understand it and then compared it with Bible and you must choose which one is better..May God bless you and show you the right path.
2007-04-04 00:00:37 UTC
Converting to Islam should on one own freewill not because one wanted to marry a muslim.

Likewise you had seen the problem that arised from your marriage to a muslim out of convenience.

Your husband made a biggest mistake in his life by marrying you 1st without waiting for you to convert. Marrying a non convert is against Islam. Rightfully in Islam according to the syariah laws his marriage is not legal in Islam and he had commited one of the greatest sin by zina (sex outside wedlock.)

Since you have no confidence in Islam I guess you should leave him.
waggy
2007-04-04 00:02:49 UTC
You have your beliefs and so does your husband. It doesn't make you any worse or any better than someone who does choose to convert to their husband's religion. It is really about putting everyting in context, as in the social environment and personal expectations for that person. How strong their beliefs are they are 'sacrificing' if indeed that are sacrificing anything. Everyone is different with how they choose to live their lives and the cultures they live in and what they hold important. I don't think it is for anyone to judge or make assumptions. As long as you and your husband are happy with your different beliefs and can still have an effective husband and wife relationship - then good for you!
shafiqah_nurul
2007-04-04 03:12:51 UTC
I learnt from my ustazah(muslim teacher) that both parties MUST be muslims to marry each other. There's no such thing as silver marriages in Islam. Either you convert to Islam, or him convert to another religion. At least that's what I've learnt. If both of you have chosen for you to convert(IF),you must do it willingly and not because this way, you can marry him. For your religion,I don't know sry XD hopefully both of you can settle this and marry,well good luck ^^
hbouiri
2007-04-07 06:47:21 UTC
well if you are really married to one..

I m Muslim and my wife is christian..we are happy and will always be inshallah.

you don't have to convert..he chooses to marry u as a christian he must accept it.

if u want to convert it's up to you..you can read and stuff..if not..it's your choice but no obligation is allowed in Islam.
2007-04-04 07:05:22 UTC
This is the exact reason for the unequal yokes passage in the Bible.



Not all Muslim men want their wives to convert but, it depends on their culture.



Many women in your situation, who have children, have had to run and seek refuge.



I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-04-04 02:32:39 UTC
no Muslim man allowed only to marry Jewish or Christian woman only,and woman shouldn't be forced to convert to Islam as long as she still in Christian or Jewish
nadermansi
2007-04-04 00:05:10 UTC
I lived half of my life in Islamic country and half of it or more in the US. I was born of Christian family and I'm Christian through God's grace.



Since you ar married already .. you have made some decisions and you may have to end up handling the siutation it in a special manner. He obviously agreed that you keep your religion when you married him. My advice is not to sell..Christ for any price. He should leave you in your faith and through your good works, He will see the difference in religion and through God, he can be converted .. pray a lot of him and yourself .. but don't deny Christ .. you will regret it for the rest of your life and from experience, your life will not be the same as you have to abide by the islamic rules ( do you know them by the way as a woman .. you should research it). One final comment is that if you become Muslim and then wnat to be Christian again, the Quran allows for your life to end according to teh Quran as an infidel... .. I will pray for you ...
flameslivewire
2007-04-04 01:22:16 UTC
Hi,



Peace Be With you.



The Holy Quran permits Muslims to marry from the 'People of the Book' and which directly implies Jews and Christians. We respect other Prophets and therefore we can marry amongst you.



First to address the issue of Inter-religious Marriages. Why should you be 'SIMILAR' in belief for marriage?



You MUST be COMPATIBLE in your belief because otherwise it will be like Riding a Bicyle with a Truck Tyre and a normal Tyre.



Therefore, as you call yourself as a True Christian, set your beliefs right first. Because a True Christian will follow 'The Teachings of Jesus Christ (Peace Be Upon Him) ' ...



But the problem here is, that MOST Christians are following the adulterated message of Jesus Christ which was fabricated by Paul.



St. Arius was the True follower of Christ and he SHUNNED the Fabricated theory of 'Trinity'. If you read and understand the Gospel of Barnabas, this will make you arrive at the fundamentals of Islamic Monotheism - 'Tawheed'.



How can you make your children believe that GOD is ONE.



And then negate your statement by saying the 'Trinity'...



Define GOD first...



Almighty GOD is ONE, call HIM by any name. But it should be a Beautiful one WITHOUT any Mental picture.



What we say that there is ONE GOD means HE is the same GOD for Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Athiests, Buddhists and all mankind.



Because GOD is ONE and for all mankind.



Therefore, if you say ALLAH, ELI, ELIAH, BRAHMA, all refer to GOD. We can best understand this from the Hindu Scripture example.



Hindus say GOD is Brahma. Which if translated into English means 'The Creator' and if translated into Arabic means 'Khaliq'



Therefore if you call Almighty GOD as 'The Creator' OR 'Khaliq' OR 'Brahma' it is ONE and the SAME.



BUT...



The trouble arises when the Hindus ascribe features to GOD that are NOT worthy for GOD. For example, they say Brahma is the GOD who has 10 heads, so and so hands, etc...



And this goes against the fundamentals of Islam, Judaism and Christianity (As per the Gospel of Barnabas) and even True Hinduism itself (Vedas are against this)...



Therefore, All religions speak about Monotheism BUT the True essence of Monotheism has now remained in Islam only as...



1. The Church has fabricated the Trinity and mis-lead the Chirstians from the True message of Jesus Christ (Peace Be Upon Him)



2. The Hindus do NOT read the Vedas and practice Idol worship which is against their own scriptures.
STFU Dude
2007-04-03 23:58:34 UTC
That wouldn't be the first marriage ended by the conversion of one of the partners. Even if your conversion isn't required by Islam, consider how you'll raise your children... It's a pandora's box of problems.
SAC
2007-04-10 23:49:42 UTC
No, Islam does not allow forced conversions.
jahn j
2007-04-04 00:57:06 UTC
Your husband is not a good Muslim. Listen to TS.
Adia Azrael
2007-04-04 00:00:30 UTC
Muslim here,



Here's some verse from the Qu'ran to shut him up:





There shall be no compulsion in religion [2:256]



Proclaim: "This is the truth from your Lord," then

whoever wills let him believe,

and whoever wills let him disbelieve. [18:29]





If he goes againts these words, it means he's going againts the words of the Qu'ran, so hah to him.



Good luck though.
2007-04-04 00:10:56 UTC
You should have married someone who was equally yoked with your spiritual beliefs. It's not just the religion, but the culture is entwined with the religion.
Tia
2007-04-04 00:09:41 UTC
i agree with DBznut and TS. islam never force someone to convert to islam. however instead denying to convert to islam, why don't you try to learn more about islam from your husband. then, you can choose whether you want to convert to islam or not. you also can try debate islam and christians with any religious people like Imam.
tonks_op
2007-04-03 23:57:07 UTC
What were you even thinking when you married him? Of course they want you to convert. And to do everything else a slave would do. You are a 'woman' to him. That means you are a nonperson. I hope you don't live in a Muslim country.
Canis
2007-04-03 23:58:57 UTC
Why can't you peacefully co-exsist and love each other while respecting each other's religion?
2007-04-03 23:58:55 UTC
As I mentioned before, anyone married to a muslim (male or female) must convert to a muslim, the offspring must be a muslim.



Hence that is why when muslim say they are the true religion because it is growing .... and I said, bulls to you, it is because of these iron hand ruling.
Igno
2007-04-04 00:11:22 UTC
Yes, and once you have converted you are not supposed to convert to another religent
DBznut
2007-04-03 23:57:43 UTC
NO they are not.



Prophet Mohammed(PBUH) married a Christian woman and a jewish woman.



The jewish woman was asked(NOT forced) to convert(REVERT) and she agreed to and then she married him.
2007-04-07 20:13:56 UTC
yes, and why follow a lecherous old crazy fool



the news and internet is full of examples of forced comversions.



Muhammad suicide attempts

http://www.answering-islam.de/Main/Silas/suicide.htm

http://www.answering-islam.de/Main///Silas/fatrah.htm



See how easy it is for another robber, raper, murderer, pedophile, jesus wannabe like muhammad to get followers???

'Black Jesus' accused of rape and murder

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/03/19/wjesus119.xml

Cannibal 'Black Jesus' Faces Death Penalty

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,259845,00.html



false prophet muhammad and little girls!

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/funguyaaa/328869

http://www.420megs.com/users/undressing-islam/pedophile-moe.htm

The thought of an old man becoming aroused by a child is one of the most disturbing thoughts that makes us cringe as it reminds us of pedophilia and the most despicable people. It is difficult to accept that the Holy Prophet married Aisha when she was 6-years-old and consummated his marriage with her when she was 9. He was then, 54 years old.

http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina/ayesha.htm

http://www.sciencedaily.com/upi/?feed=TopNews&article=UPI-1-20060115-21472500-bc-iraq-mutaa.xml

http://www.memritv.org/search.asp?ACT=S9&P1=978.

http://memri.org/bin/latestnews.cgi?ID=SD106005

http://www.henryk-broder.de/tagebuch/karikaturisten.html



and it led to his death........ hahahahahaha



safiyah proved muhammad a false prophet of doom and death. by serving him tainted meat, maybe by Trichinellosis

http://answering-islam.org.uk/Silas/mo-death.htm



they call it peace once they force you to convert to islam. notice that there are no islamic countries that grant equal rights to non muslims, they call that peace too, but a slave is still a slave no matter how well you treat them. none of use are free unless we are all free.



beware of muhammad the robber, raper, murderer, pedophile, false prophet of doom, jesus wannabee.



Islamic origins

http://www.blackwellpublishing.com/pdf/compass/hico_058.pdf

Origin of Islam

http://www.allaboutreligion.org/origin-of-islam.htm

his hate of man's best friend

http://www.answering-islam.de/Main/Silas/dogs.htm



John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.



yah, muhammad is in the bible.......

this one best describes him....... and evil islam

Matthew 7:15 (Whole Chapter)

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.



Matthew 24:11 (Whole Chapter)

And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.



Matthew 24:24 (Whole Chapter)

For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.



Mark 13:22 (Whole Chapter)

For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.



Luke 6:26 (Whole Chapter)

Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.



2 Peter 2:1 (Whole Chapter)

But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.



1 John 4:1 (Whole Chapter)

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.



http://bible.com/
Bluefast
2007-04-03 23:57:55 UTC
Prepare to get stoned (and not in the good marijuana way).
J9
2007-04-03 23:56:59 UTC
No.
2007-04-03 23:56:51 UTC
why dont you ask your god?

arent you supposed to have a personal relationship with him?

or is that all bs?
Layla
2007-04-04 10:40:02 UTC
A Muslim man can marry any women that believes in the one true God.



She does not have to believe in Islam just God



She is to keep her own religion.



If she is forced to revert to Islam it is not excepted by God, because it is to be her own choice.



The only thing that is dictated is that any children that comes of such a marriage must be raised as Muslims



Quran and woman's rights

1.The Muslim woman has the same right as the Muslim man in all matters including divorce.Quran 3:195



2. She enjoys property and inheritance rights. (Which other religion grants women these rights?). She can also conduct her own separate business.Quran 4:7



3. She can marry any Muslim of her choice. If her parents choose a partner for her, her consent must be taken. Quran 4:24-25



4. The dowry in Islam is a gift from a husband to his wife .Quran 4:4



5. A Muslim widow is allowed to remarry, and her remarriage is the responsibility of the Muslim society. Quran 2:234



6.Mixed marriage is encouraged and is a mean to prevent racism creeping in society.Quran 4:25



7. A Muslim mother (and father) is given the highest form of respect. Quran 17:23



8. Marriage is between consenting adults. Since marriage is a more significant institution than a financial one which needs maturity, see 4:6. Maturity and understanding is required for marriage as much.



9.God teaches clearly in the Quran "...do not reverence human beings; you shall reverence Me (God) instead...." Quran 5:44, 9:18



A Wife's Basic Rights Regarding Her Husband's Behavior



NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.



1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"



2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).



3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.



4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."



5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.



6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.



7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.



8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.



9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.



10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.



11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).



12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.



13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).



For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.



14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.



15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.



16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.



17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.



Conclusion

These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of one's adherence to the Sunna and an exalted state of life indeed. In the words of the Prophet (s), it permits one to meet Allah "pure and cleansed" (tahiran mutahharan). One's behavior towards one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet (s) said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives." Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward. The Prophet (s) called it "his way" (al-nikahu sunnati) and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two rak`at (prayer-cycles) of the married person are better than seventy rak`at of the unmarried." He also warned that among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the treatment of their wives.



And may Allah's blessings and peace be upon Muhammad,

his Family and all his Companions,

and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
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