If apes and monkeys are our brothers and sisters then why....?

Question

About 2 years ago I was a God hating atheist, I hated God so much that I denied his existence. I decided to become a liberal arts major in college and one of the things we were encouraged to do was to spend a summer in the jungles and rainforests in order to commune with our brothers and sisters, the apes and monkeys. I was so excited to be going, I thought I was going to see distant family members and I thought they were going to welcome us with open arms. I had heard that apes and monkeys were fluent in sign language and that we would be able to have full conversations with them.
Boy was I in for a surprise, when we got to the jungle the monkeys were throwing their feces at each other. They were wallowing around in their urine and feces, hitting each other. None of them could speak in sign language. I walked in with a bunch of suitcases expecting to be welcomed into a tree house or something. My professor explained that they were distant relatives, but relatives none the less. I wasn't so sure that this was true.
After our first day we met with some evolutionary scientist in a tie-dyed shirt, who smelled like pot and granola bars. He was so syked that we came to visit and wanted to know how we felt about meeting our family. We basically talked all night, but I seemed to be the only person not buying into this indoctrination.
Later the next day I walked to the near by grocery store and ran into a Baptist preacher. He told me about how evolution was a lie and that I would go to Hell for believing in it. He explained that I was created by a God who loved me and designed me perfectly. I didn't believe this at first, but he gave me a King James Bible to read and I threw it into my bag. I knew that my professor and classmates would shun me for reading the Bible so I waited until they were asleep. I was very moved from the first few sentences I read, so I continued to read and read and read until I finished. When I was done I realised that God loved me and that I was designed by him and that apes and monkeys were not my brothers and sisters. I left immediately, came home, and started going to Church and soon after I was saved and have been a follower of Christ ever since.

Answer 1

I have seen people wallowing around in their urine and feces too.

Answer 2

If Wolfs are the brothers and sisters of dogs, then why will they rip them to shreds for food?

Answer 3

I wouldn't touch this with a ten-foot Poe.



And neither would "Big Edgar."

Answer 4

they have to be taught sign language. it's not an instinctual thing.



as for the rest, it sounds like a fairy tale to me.

Answer 5

If you were god hating then you weren't an atheist you were an a$$.

Answer 6

Obvious troll is obvious

Answer 7

voodoo